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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

258 replies

Youllneverseemeagainn · 20/02/2026 12:07

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

OP posts:
AndrewMountbattenWindsor · 20/02/2026 17:26

They may be but my DDs are far more beautiful.

On MN I only have two nieces and two NIL.

burnoutbabe · 20/02/2026 18:12

Olderandwiserpossibly · 20/02/2026 12:26

It's the high amounts of earnings that I find really perplexing.

Even given regional variations and that I know some types of jobs pay high-level than others I struggle to get my head round the salaries quoted.

I always think why anyone earning such high amounts should turn to MN for advice when, even if they don't have family or friends to talk to, they could actually afford to pay someone for expert advice and guidance

But we’re on mumsnet to speak about say tv shows or work issues etc.

lots of posters did say they were on over £100k in a recent thread but we were all mostly accountants or lawyers around London firms. That isn’t a particularly niche section of society?

there are not many forums for women to discuss things. I use Reddit for more technical matters (game advice mostly)

Allseeingallknowing · 20/02/2026 18:20

SonsRfab · 20/02/2026 17:17

I just found that thread. Glad the dealer didn't come back for it. Police were shocking!

What happened to the cocaine?

AllegedlyFictionalCharacter · 20/02/2026 18:23

Ninerainbows · 20/02/2026 15:16

To a point, but the big salaries crop up as a tangent on other threads as well. Say it's "If you love your job, what is it?" and there are as many posts saying they love their £200k a year job in law/banking as there are those who love their job at a dogs' home or working as a TA. You're right though; nobody ever said this was a representative cross-section!

But isn’t that just obvious: some people will prioritise a job as a vocation and others as a way to earn money? Some people will love their job because it pays well, some people will love their job because it gives them meaning, some people will have one or the other but the missing part means they hate it, a lucky few will have both and others will have neither and therefore be far more likely not to “love” their job in any way?

I suppose what I find surprising is that anybody finds any of this surprising.

Olderandwiserpossibly · 20/02/2026 18:28

burnoutbabe · 20/02/2026 18:12

But we’re on mumsnet to speak about say tv shows or work issues etc.

lots of posters did say they were on over £100k in a recent thread but we were all mostly accountants or lawyers around London firms. That isn’t a particularly niche section of society?

there are not many forums for women to discuss things. I use Reddit for more technical matters (game advice mostly)

Well if you think earning a salary of over £100, 000 in London as an accountant or lawyer in London isn't pretty niche then it shows what a rarified circle you mix with.
It's such a London centric attitude.

Of course you have every right to discuss whatever you want on MN but perhaps you should have the grace to realise your salary is a total unreality for most areas of the country.Even for people qualified in the fields you mention.

ThanksGill · 20/02/2026 18:46

Showing off about how tall and good looking your sons are is so bizarre. It is something unique to Mumsnet. People are even at it on this thread!

SonsRfab · 20/02/2026 18:51

Allseeingallknowing · 20/02/2026 18:20

What happened to the cocaine?

Op had to take it to the police station. Put cocaine and cellar in search and tick thread title opening post.

Meadowfinch · 20/02/2026 18:57

ThanksGill · 20/02/2026 18:46

Showing off about how tall and good looking your sons are is so bizarre. It is something unique to Mumsnet. People are even at it on this thread!

Don't most mums think their sons are good looking though?

Not least because they probably share facial features with their dads, who the respective mums married so they probably do think they are good looking.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 20/02/2026 18:57

Swiftie1878 · 20/02/2026 13:17

Weirdly I notice more the number of people with exceptionally unfortunate lives.
Disabled DC. A chronic illness of their own.
Fake friends. Unsupportive family.

It shocks me, genuinely, that SO many people can have such terrible misfortune. It’s so rare irl.

It might not be, you know.

People with chronic illnesses often have to limit what they do so they are simply less visible.

Depending on the severity of the disability, possibly the same for disabled children.

Also people who can't work due to illness very often have limited means and that too can mean they stay home more or sometimes end up in very poor accommodation.

People with really unsupportive family often don't talk about it because of the reactions they get from the happily oblivious who have average or decent families. If you say that you don't see your mother, a lot of people will say 'but she's your mum! in a disapproving tone. They have absolutely no concept of what it's like to have to run away from your mother when she's brandishing a knife at you. Either you don't try to explain because it's clear they won't get it, or you do and that kills the conversation stone dead and leaves a lingering awkwardness.

It can also be that a disproportionately high number of people with limited mobility post here simply because it's an easier way to 'talk' to others.

Online allows some people to say things they simply can't in real life.

AllegedlyFictionalCharacter · 20/02/2026 19:05

Olderandwiserpossibly · 20/02/2026 18:28

Well if you think earning a salary of over £100, 000 in London as an accountant or lawyer in London isn't pretty niche then it shows what a rarified circle you mix with.
It's such a London centric attitude.

Of course you have every right to discuss whatever you want on MN but perhaps you should have the grace to realise your salary is a total unreality for most areas of the country.Even for people qualified in the fields you mention.

It’s really not that “niche” if you actually look at the data. Especially with inflation in recent years. 7.2% of employees who work full time earn over £100k per year (I’ve excluded part-time employees from the figure because obviously that skews the like-for-like comparison as there’s no national data showing pro-rated FTE equivalent salaries for these people, and pensioners with incomes over this level, of whom there are 50,000- 60,000). Interestingly, when you add the self-employed, the figure remains the same because the number who earn this amount (or declare it…) is low (150,000-200,000) but they are a far smaller proportion of the population as well (2.9m self employed people in comparison to 25.5 million full-time employees).

Don’t forget that there are many people deliberately reducing earnings, cutting hours or retiring early to avoid the 60% to sometimes over 100% tax trap at £100k, so this percentage of people with an income of over £100k would doubtless be significantly higher if we had a functional tax system.

This isn’t a small number of people: over two million people in the UK are earning this amount. More than 2 out of every 30 random people you select who are working full time per the data, which isn’t what I’d really call “niche”. Obviously primarily they won’t be people who never bothered with education/ setting up a business, and primarily they’ll be people who aren’t in their early 20s and have built up their success and careers/ businesses over time, and primarily they’re unlikely to remain in the most deprived areas because most of the opportunities to earn these amounts will mean moving to less deprived areas where there are opportunities. But the data exists and is easily accessible and shows categorically that this isn’t a rare level of income, and certainly doesn’t make anyone “rich” these days: two earners with minimum wage full time incomes are £25,396 each which is £1,817.21 each after tax, so £3,634.42 for a couple. A single earner with £100,000 salary will receive £5,176.94 after tax and a Plan 2 student loan, for example. They will not receive tax free childcare, or child benefit, or universal credit, or subsidised rent, or free hours at nursery. One nursery place can easily cost £2k per month which would mean they’re worse off than the couple on minimum wage. Have two children and their net earnings would be £1,176.94 per month to pay their mortgage, bills, commuting and all living expenses.

It isn’t the riches that people seem to think it is because of the UK tax system and them not realising just how much is deducted from higher earners before they even see their salary. This system particularly discriminates against single parents. A lone parent has to earn a salary of over £150k to provide the same lifestyle for their children as a couple each earning the average salary of £37,500, i.e. the lone parent must earn almost twice as much, in half the time and most likely has to pay for far more childcare as well because they can’t be in two places at once. They will get no help with funding this making the gap even wider, not to mention the fact that - as you noted - to earn that kind of salary generally people have to live in expensive areas with much higher commuting costs and much higher mortgages/ rent. I think headline salaries can be quite misleading in terms of the net income a household actually receives after tax and that’s the only sensible basis upon which you can make a meaningful comparison.

Sassiskt · 20/02/2026 19:08

I’m sorry but I don’t believe any sane adult wears PJs during the day. It’s disgusting.

MasterBeth · 20/02/2026 19:12

JLou08 · 20/02/2026 14:54

Its not hard at all, no. That article says the average age is 31. It's predicted to be 35 for girls born in 2025. Neither figure is near 40.

Yes, do you always assume "national average" and "in my circle" are the same thing?

JustPlainStanfreyPock · 20/02/2026 19:16

Is MN like Lake Wobegon then, where all the women are strong, all the men good looking and all the children above average?

FaceBothered · 20/02/2026 19:18

YANBU OP

But MN is a mecca for bullshit due to name changing being allowed and it always will be.

Pigtailsandall · 20/02/2026 19:21

BadLad · 20/02/2026 12:35

Don’t forget the “I’m 59 but look 21, and when I’m out with my granddaughter people often ask if we’re sisters” claims.

This always makes me laugh. And all they do is drink plenty of water and use "bog standard nivea" for skincare. I tell you now, people are just being polite.

Pigtailsandall · 20/02/2026 19:30

Enigma54 · 20/02/2026 15:39

It’s the repetitive language used on here which I never hear in real life.

LTB
An event or hobby
In the trenches
Fun money
Weaponised incompetence
Everything has to be 50/50

So many more…

I've seen so many posts about DHs having a "hobby" that is "expensive" and/or "time-consuming". Everyone's DH seems to have one, but none of the posters have similar hobbies. I always think it's boats. I don't know why, I always have

My DH just goes to the gym every once in a while, reads, goes to gigs occasionally. Our hobbies are boring.

Sassiskt · 20/02/2026 19:36

Thank you @AllegedlyFictionalCharacterfor for pointing out why I don’t feel at all loaded on my £103k a year. Live in an expensive city in order to earn this. Childcare is through the roof. We get by but we’re not ‘rolling in it’!

ElizabethsTailor · 20/02/2026 19:37

I think people judge each other by their own standards. I tend to assume people are truthful, because I personally wouldn’t bother to make stuff up. What would be the point?

But equally if someone did get a kick out of making stuff up, they might be more likely to assume others would be the same.

I also agree that a lot of threads are self selecting and therefore look skewed.

The salary thing is easily sorted though. People could just post a screenshot from their HMRC tax summary to corroborate. It’s easy to crop it so the UTR doesn’t show.

(and yes, I earn over £200k, live in a 5 bed house, in a happy marriage with DH who is an ex-model, and we have tall willowy good looking children 😅)

Enigma54 · 20/02/2026 19:54

Pigtailsandall · 20/02/2026 19:30

I've seen so many posts about DHs having a "hobby" that is "expensive" and/or "time-consuming". Everyone's DH seems to have one, but none of the posters have similar hobbies. I always think it's boats. I don't know why, I always have

My DH just goes to the gym every once in a while, reads, goes to gigs occasionally. Our hobbies are boring.

I know, it’s like said “ hobby” is top
secret or something. Why not just say, gym, cake decorating, kayaking or whatever?

Enigma54 · 20/02/2026 19:57

Sassiskt · 20/02/2026 19:08

I’m sorry but I don’t believe any sane adult wears PJs during the day. It’s disgusting.

Agree. Sadly in my town, people can be seen shopping in their pyjamas! 🤮

I can hear MN say “ move towns quick” like “LTB” 🤣

AllegedlyFictionalCharacter · 20/02/2026 19:58

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 20/02/2026 18:57

It might not be, you know.

People with chronic illnesses often have to limit what they do so they are simply less visible.

Depending on the severity of the disability, possibly the same for disabled children.

Also people who can't work due to illness very often have limited means and that too can mean they stay home more or sometimes end up in very poor accommodation.

People with really unsupportive family often don't talk about it because of the reactions they get from the happily oblivious who have average or decent families. If you say that you don't see your mother, a lot of people will say 'but she's your mum! in a disapproving tone. They have absolutely no concept of what it's like to have to run away from your mother when she's brandishing a knife at you. Either you don't try to explain because it's clear they won't get it, or you do and that kills the conversation stone dead and leaves a lingering awkwardness.

It can also be that a disproportionately high number of people with limited mobility post here simply because it's an easier way to 'talk' to others.

Online allows some people to say things they simply can't in real life.

Absolutely. What’s very surprising is that this needs explaining to people.

illbetheresunorrain · 20/02/2026 19:59

this is very interesting because all the women who ever post images of their bodies for dressing advice, are all very short and overweight and the legs are crooked, not thin and long

illbetheresunorrain · 20/02/2026 20:01

threads which disappeared and were they real: the Rose from Dubai affair? Where are you now poster

a woman about her son having a baby at 16 with around 20 monkey faces and laughing all around what seemed a very dire situation

illbetheresunorrain · 20/02/2026 20:03

I miss the Garden thinking thread. What happened to that boy

FaceBothered · 20/02/2026 20:07

I don't think having a 'Classics' topic helps either.

So many OPs clearly hoping their vaguely funny made up bullshit will end up there.

Swipe left for the next trending thread