To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

[Youllneverseemeagainn]

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

A very large proportion of MNs have children who are SEN in one way or another. I know hardly any in real life. And twins. So many twins on MN.

I think its weirdly bitter and insecure to waste energy thinking that a mumsnettermight have lied about a 200k salary 🤨 i dont earn that but why wouldnt i believe, or why would i even care, if someone else does? 🤷‍♀️

My mum actually put me on mumsnet (I think she was annoyed with all my questions when I had my PFB) and she told me “most of it’s a load of shite but they can recommend you a good hoover and stuff like that”.

As an experiment I recently asked ChatGPT to produce a post in the style of a typical MN thread. It was very convincing, in fact it made me wonder how many are auto-generated by AI. I’m sure that must happen. It’s very easy to produce both an original post and any of the responses if you copy and paste a few into AI. It would be very easy to instruct it to “make it inflammatory and contentious and likely to provoke further responses from others.”

imagine how manipulated we all are, potentially. Scary

It’s the repetitive language used on here which I never hear in real life.

LTB
An event or hobby
In the trenches
Fun money
Weaponised incompetence
Everything has to be 50/50

So many more…

I'm slightly incredulous about how much people seem to know about friends' and relatives' financial circumstances surrounding benefits etc. I like to think I have understanding and non-judgemental friends and relatives, but it has given me the heads-up to be circumspect about whom I share what with!

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Just because something isn't 'the norm' that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, though. Lots of people do, in fact, have very happy marriages and an equal partnership. I'm sorry if you don't, but that doesn't mean nobody does.

All six of my closest friends (and I) are in very happy long-term relationships and with lovely men. That hasn't always been the case at all - at various times we've all been with appalling men and been miserable. But at this point in our lives, all of us are very happy.

Also, there are very few posts on Mumsnet about 'perfect' marriages. Every now again, someone will start a thread actually begging for examples of happy relationships and great partners because they feel depressed by how many miserable relationships there are on here!

LTB is a MN thing, originated on here. So you probably wouldn’t hear it in real life, no.

Event or hobby - don’t understand what you mean

In the trenches - I’ve never seen that and been here over 20 years

Fun money - heard that in real life a fair bit.

Weaponised incompetence- haven’t really seen this that much on here or IRL

Everything has to be 50/50 - that’s not a special phrase or repeated mantra, it’s just an opinion. Many share it when it comes to joint finances and childcare etc.

I'd forgotten about dear old Crumbs! She really worked hard to impress us with her picture book perfect life. During the same era there was another poster who used to run long, multi-thread stories about her health or lack of it.

She had every ailment & disease known to man & would be “blue-lighted” to hospital at least 3 times a week. Once there the many surgeons, doctors & nurses who treated her would all be halfwits who only made her dire siuation worse. ICU became her second home but, despite all her suffering, she still managed to post frequent updates on MN.

I could never decide whether she was a complete fantasist/hypochondriac or a very clever troll who wanted to see just how far she could push gullible Mumsnetters. And indeed she did amass a large group of enthusiastic supporters who would gather on her threads to cheer her on with cries of “oooh, you're so brave”!

Dh and i earn a lot (me 125k him 200k) but i think if you met us in person you'd find us boring/every day. Im average height, average looking and atm a bit overweight. We hoard a lot of money in pensions/savings, so we aren't spending loads day to day, we drive bangers, i don't do a lot of fancy hair/beauty. Our summer holiday is uk camping, kids are in the local state primary. We shop in sainsburys as that's the nearest big supermarket. My kids are thin tbf (they take after DH) but no one is especially exceptional otherwise.

Mnet is definitely weighted towards london/urban professionals on high salaries, but i know loads of these people so don't disbelieve the posters saying they earn a lot. London lawyers, consultants, anyone in accounting/finance/tax/treasury, IT etc are all well paid. I also know people taking home a lot in recruitment, construction, & medical stuff.

i also think there are a disproportionate number of posters on mnet with kids with sen and disabilities, especially autism/asd/adhd.

I really don't but I am a lot older than most.

I know what an average is. Feel free to run my original message and the article you posted through ChatGPT. You will find they aren't contradictory. Circles of women having their first baby at 40 are in the minority (which is what is in my original post, it clearly said some live this way but not the majority). The article that you posted with your smarmy "it's not that hard" backs that up with the stats on average first time mothers and the research around difficulties conceiving and complications when people do try to conceive/become pregnant in their late 30s.
If you're going to try and be patronising, at least post evidence that contridicts rather than supports the other person's argument.

Actually, I hate to spoil the party, but my husband does get me breakfast in bed every morning . . . 😒

My butler brings me breakfast in bed every morning.

*Also, the competitive under eaters. which some of us call normal eater, as opposed to competitive over-eater who must have a family size pizza, garlic bread, jacket potato and I am sure I forget something to start feeling full😂
It's funny, if someone claims that weight jabs make them eat a lot less (and lose weight in the process) they are applauded on there. But if someone is eating the same amount but without the jabs, they're lying?

Aren't weight loss jabs supposed to suppress your appetite to make you undereat? If so, surely anyone who is eating the same amount is undereating, whether they need the jabs to achive that or not?

What annoys me is people on here who don't believe that anyone is slim without severely restricting their diet. I presume it's jealousy, either because they are slim and half starve themselves to maintain it, or they are overweight and it seems unfair that other people don't put on weight when eating 'normally'.

My nephew's wife is only slim because she has a chef, personal trainer and a lot of money.

I work on the principle that if it’s an exciting story, I don’t much care whether or not it’s real.

However, the truth can be… well, unclear..

For example, I could say that I live in a period townhouse, with a huge kitchen that’s the heart of the home, five large double bedrooms, a good size garden with a massive garage. There are sea views, and it is less than 5 minutes to the beach. It is also in reach of London, and there are frequent trains (2 each hour, and more in the rush hour) so it is commutable.

Alternatively, I could say that I live in a tatty Victorian terrace, on a fairly busy road, in a slightly run-down seaside town. Yes, we have sea views - if you hang out of the top back bedroom. The beach is shingle, and the trains take over an hour and a half to London.

Both descriptions are accurate. But they give a very different perspective.

Do you trust other social media, @Youllneverseemeagainn? Is it just MN you struggle to believe?

Do you believe that there are people on here who knit/crochet blankets for charity and for bereaved MNers, or who offer support and advice in areas like SN, breastfeeding, education, pregnancy, mental health etc etc?

I think that, as with anything on social media, you have to pick your way around MN to find the bits that you need or that speak to you, and while it is important not to be too credible, it is also important to realise that there are plenty of people who are being truthful here.

I also suspect that, once you get an impression of a website, you tend to notice the things that reinforce that impression, and miss the things that contradict it. So you will disproportionately notice posts from high income MNers with tall, handsome children. Confirmation bias is the term, I think.

It is up to you what you do about it - is it worth your while looking at some of the different board on here, to see if you can find things that do appeal to you? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But if you aren’t getting anything from being on MN, then there are plenty of other websites where you can hopefully find your tribe. No one website can appeal to everyone, so we shop around til we find the ones we like.

Perhaps because real life friends/family and support falls away for a lot of people with SEN kids so they move more towards online.

I just found that thread. Glad the dealer didn't come back for it. Police were shocking!

And they can never resist highlighting themselves with a pass ag dig at the OP.

OP: my neighbour keeps parking on my drive and it's doing my head in aibu?
MN: Well if I were in your situation I'd definitely let them have my drive, and my house whilst I slept on a bench instead because they obviously need it more. That's just the kind of person I am. I literally can't stop myself being selfless. But hey, we're all different and you're just obviously not made that way.

Why would someone lie about that? My 8 yr old IS over 99th centile for height and weight. He's around 50kg and 145cm tall at last measurement. Infact he's under endocrinology to look at wth that is the case. Why would that be a brag?

I have to admit I find it strange that there are so many people on here that are in a different class to myself. I know that it’s a world wide forum but reading all the threads about private schools, trusts etc. I suppose they need a digital place to hang out.

My favourite PSA on here was someone announcing that we actually need a minimum of £50k pension per year to retire. I don’t even earn that now.

Which one? Both your nieces are slim