Page 11 | To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

Zov · 22/02/2026 14:02

100% agree with you @Youllneverseemeagainn

Fiddy1964 · 22/02/2026 17:31

I take everything on here with a pinch of salt. Do come across the odd thread that I believe is true and if it interests me, usually post a comment.

JHound · 23/02/2026 09:59

AllegedlyFictionalCharacter · 22/02/2026 09:00

What a strange comment. Why would more middle class posters have children with SEN? Statistics show that the prevalence is far higher in deprived areas because a significant proportion of what is classified as SEN isn’t caused by disability but rather by poverty/ trauma.

Obviously lots of parents of children with SEN post here for support and advice and people who have had to go through that awful system to try to get access to education for their children are much more likely to post about it than those who haven’t so the threads on this topic specifically are self-selecting.

When posters are describing other circumstances in threads on other topics - e.g. why someone’s relationship might be suffering or why they are struggling to work full time, etc. - having a child with SEN is a very relevant factor so it seems completely understandable why it is also mentioned frequently in posts on other topics because it has such a huge impact on family life and finances, therefore people with children with SEN are more likely to be having relationship difficulties as well, difficulties with work, because the financial cost of having children with disabilities and strain of coping and having to fight schools and Local Authorities for appropriate support is huge. It’s something that is quite isolating and you may not even be aware of when you speak to people who you know only vaguely e.g. acquaintances like other parents you have met through the school.

The national statistics show that it is now around 20% of children who are identified to have some kind of SEN (although not always severe, just requiring some additional support by school staff through normal school provision). On a forum aimed primarily at parents that has millions of posters, therefore, it doesn’t seem to be surprising that many of them mention having children with SEN. Why do you find it odd?

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I find it odd for the reason I stated
I found it an example of the board trending middle class because it seems like the expansion in what is deemed SEN is driven from that class (plus more likely to have older parents also increasing the likelihood.)

I am not saying they are lying it is just massively different to my own experience. Here it seems like every other poster has children with SEN.

MustWeDoThis · 24/02/2026 10:23

Youllneverseemeagainn · 20/02/2026 12:07

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

My married life -is- exactly like that (minus the rose petals). That's because I have high standards. A lot of women raise their tolerance and lower their standards, so you end up with this standard of shitty marriages which is then used as the norm - It shouldn't be the norm. Women also need to stop projecting passive aggressiveness because they are jealous of these strong marriages. I work at my marriage, it's built on strong foundations and that includes arguments!

JHound · 24/02/2026 12:25

MustWeDoThis · 24/02/2026 10:23

My married life -is- exactly like that (minus the rose petals). That's because I have high standards. A lot of women raise their tolerance and lower their standards, so you end up with this standard of shitty marriages which is then used as the norm - It shouldn't be the norm. Women also need to stop projecting passive aggressiveness because they are jealous of these strong marriages. I work at my marriage, it's built on strong foundations and that includes arguments!

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Yes!

I do know marriages like this. I also know many with trash relationships. I think women with low / no standards get bitter at those who have high ones and thus have better quality long term relationships as a result (and I say that as somebody who had awful standards for years.)

BountifulPantry · 24/02/2026 14:02

Youllneverseemeagainn · 20/02/2026 12:32

It's like the how much debt do you have threads, when posters rush to smugly tell us they have £0 and that if they can't afford it 'they go without'. The average person has at least a small amount of unsecured debt.

The “how much debt are you in” threads are hilarious. It’s either sanctimonious “oh I’d never go into debt- how immoral” OR they have £100k on credit cards and have already had 2 bankruptcies 😂😂😂

Never your average Jo with £5,000 odd to pay off the car and £400 on a card from Christmas. That’s too boring!!!

LuciferTheLightBringer · 24/02/2026 14:31

I'm a foreigner and read this site for its sheer comedic value. As some of the stuff the (predominantly) UK mumsnetters come up with is absolutely gobsmacking to me due to cultural differences (and sheer lunacy sometimes).

What I do find odd is the (lack of) health of the majority of the posters here. And their children. Almost everyone seems to have at least one (and often more) serious health condition and/or disability, lots of debilitating allergies, rare stuff like Hashimoto's, Ehlers-Danlos, etc. And their children are always SEN/disabled. So many of them. I know people can be ill, disabled - of course. But..

I'm 38, have a 13-year-old, and we don't have a single condition/chronic illness/SEN between us, except for my astigmatism and seasonal hayfever. I know a lot of people just like us, blood-pressure issues for older folk, an occasional lactose intolerance, that's pretty much it. Seasonal sniffles here and there or a migraine once in a while. Pretty much all the people I know (and it's a lot) are like that. The only more 'exotic' thing is my dad's gout.

Why is this? Our healthcare is far superior to the NHS, that's true. And also free at the point of use. But even so, people seem to be a lot healthier for whatever reason. It can't be only healthcare and food.

MillyTheale · 24/02/2026 14:38

LuciferTheLightBringer · 24/02/2026 14:31

I'm a foreigner and read this site for its sheer comedic value. As some of the stuff the (predominantly) UK mumsnetters come up with is absolutely gobsmacking to me due to cultural differences (and sheer lunacy sometimes).

What I do find odd is the (lack of) health of the majority of the posters here. And their children. Almost everyone seems to have at least one (and often more) serious health condition and/or disability, lots of debilitating allergies, rare stuff like Hashimoto's, Ehlers-Danlos, etc. And their children are always SEN/disabled. So many of them. I know people can be ill, disabled - of course. But..

I'm 38, have a 13-year-old, and we don't have a single condition/chronic illness/SEN between us, except for my astigmatism and seasonal hayfever. I know a lot of people just like us, blood-pressure issues for older folk, an occasional lactose intolerance, that's pretty much it. Seasonal sniffles here and there or a migraine once in a while. Pretty much all the people I know (and it's a lot) are like that. The only more 'exotic' thing is my dad's gout.

Why is this? Our healthcare is far superior to the NHS, that's true. And also free at the point of use. But even so, people seem to be a lot healthier for whatever reason. It can't be only healthcare and food.

I’m also a foreigner, @LuciferTheLightBringer, though I did live in England for many years, and yes, definitely comedic value, but my primary interest is more unspoken cultural assumptions, and individual madnesses like veneration of the royal family. Oh, and parenting anxieties — my home culture worries a lot less about stuff that seems to preoccupy Mn posters, like how many extracurricular activities is normal, or ‘good schools’. Everyone just goes to the nearest school here. You get a decent education anywhere, and there is only a handful of private schools.