To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

[Youllneverseemeagainn]

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

I couldn't agree more.
Do Mumsnet pay some kind of marketing agency to make up these nonsense scam posts. To increase traffic and advertising revenue?

See my other post today about Uniqlo and Fold it bags ,😥

I don’t doubt there are people who embellish or even outright lie on here…

But I also find it frustrating and depressing that when a woman says she earns a six figure salary she is assumed to be lying. Its also noticeable that its women who are questioned. No one accuses an OP of saying her DH earns £200k

I don’t see why anyone would bother to lie about their salary to a bunch of randomers. What would they gain from it?

I don’t think not having debt (aside from mortgage) is that uncommon. I have no debt. Until last year I did but that was from very poor financial decisions. People who are more sensible aren’t that rare.

The one thing that does blow me away here is just how many MN have children with SEN. In real life I know hardly any but here it is common which makes me think the board trends more middle class.

Being debt free isn't always because you were 'more sensible' that's a really nasty assumption to make and coming from a place of privilege.
What about people who've been in abusive situations, had job instability or circumstances out of their control?
Yeah, I guess if they'd just been 'a bit more sensible.' 🙄

Maybe some people do earn 200k and have worked many hours to get to a point where it runs itself.

And what did you do with it?

Sorry that was to the k of cocaine post!

‘Stretch limo fire engine’?! I just spat my wine out laughing at that!
Now I know people on MN are indeed prone to exaggeration, so if someone says I just spat out my coffee or I just spat out my Prosecco laughing, I tend to believe they laughed but didn’t actually spit anything out. However, in this instance, I really did just spit out my red wine laughing at your comment so you now owe me £7 to replace my grey marl SHEIN long sleeved cheap shit tshirt. It’s only the 2nd time I’ve worn it! Serves you right for being such a comedian I say…

I did not say it’s always because you’re sensible. It’s the reason I am debt free. I was simply saying it’s really not that uncommon for people not to have debt.

I must be on the wrong posts, I never see this behaviour (bar the one with the OP asking what jobs earn £200k+ as they wanted to pivot in their career. It's mostly just people asking for advice and moaning 🤣

I don’t think it is SO unrealistic. First, I think the exceptional posts tend to stick out and be remembered disproportionately, while we skim past all the others…. It’s really not true that there are hundreds of people on here claiming to earn over 200K. There are a few outliers on each thread on that topic. Second, people are more likely to be drawn to threads when they feel they have something interesting to say. Eg- a post on ‘gifted children’ attracts parents who have gifted children. The opposite is true too- you are more likely to post if you have a terribly troubled child OR a super successful child. You are more likely to post if you have an abusive husband or one that makes you really happy. Who can be bothered posting about lots of ways in which they are average? ‘How much do you earn?’ Posts probably attract people who feel they have something interesting to say (eg high earners). Similarly, people who feel they have solved a problem are more likely to speak up in relevant threads. On “frequency you and your husband have sex posts”, I used to post on those because I had a very high average of about 2-3 times a day, so it felt interesting. I’m now thoroughly more average, having gone through peri and probably manage once or twice a week. I don’t bother posting on those threads now. Not because I’m ashamed, but it’s just not a topic that catches my eye anymore. Basically, threads are not statistically valid samples, which you’d expect to mimic normal distribution. they are self selecting, and will cluster at both ends of the extremes.

Doesn’t mean there isn’t some rubbish being talked…. But I don’t think it’s quite as much as we think sometimes.

Why?

What a strange comment. Why would more middle class posters have children with SEN? Statistics show that the prevalence is far higher in deprived areas because a significant proportion of what is classified as SEN isn’t caused by disability but rather by poverty/ trauma.

Obviously lots of parents of children with SEN post here for support and advice and people who have had to go through that awful system to try to get access to education for their children are much more likely to post about it than those who haven’t so the threads on this topic specifically are self-selecting.

When posters are describing other circumstances in threads on other topics - e.g. why someone’s relationship might be suffering or why they are struggling to work full time, etc. - having a child with SEN is a very relevant factor so it seems completely understandable why it is also mentioned frequently in posts on other topics because it has such a huge impact on family life and finances, therefore people with children with SEN are more likely to be having relationship difficulties as well, difficulties with work, because the financial cost of having children with disabilities and strain of coping and having to fight schools and Local Authorities for appropriate support is huge. It’s something that is quite isolating and you may not even be aware of when you speak to people who you know only vaguely e.g. acquaintances like other parents you have met through the school.

The national statistics show that it is now around 20% of children who are identified to have some kind of SEN (although not always severe, just requiring some additional support by school staff through normal school provision). On a forum aimed primarily at parents that has millions of posters, therefore, it doesn’t seem to be surprising that many of them mention having children with SEN. Why do you find it odd?

😂😂😂

Not any more, mate.

One can only hope that soon his dream to live out his life in a large property with many, many bedrooms and staff courtesy of his brother will come true…

Im sceptical of the ones where people are ‘live updating’ a traumatic event- surely you wouldn’t be on MN then?!

To add, if they are made up some of them are in very poor taste…. people must be very ill to need all the online sympathy that goes with these threads.

As a lone parent being hammered with tax I really sympathise. I think a lot of people who aren’t impacted much by tax, don’t quite realise so see a salary of for example £120k and believe this means the person receives nearly £10k per month when obviously with tax and student loans etc. it’s less than half of that. And that’s before you even factor in them paying in full for childcare which others have subsidised up to a value of sometimes £20k per year or more… To make up for this with the marginal tax rates at £100k you’d have to earn another £50k or so of gross income to cover the withdrawal of childcare funding, just to get back to the same position as a couple with the same household income who earned £60k each so still get all the childcare funding, child benefit etc despite having 48 hours a day between them to do everything when the single parent has 24!

This is why almost every other developed country levies taxes and allocates tax free allowances etc on a household unit basis, not to individuals. Our system entrenches existing inequalities and I think many lower earners who’ve never seen half of their earnings vanishing in tax and student loans really don’t understand the extent to which taxes scale up on higher incomes meaning that many earning them are actually far poorer in terms of disposable income than couples earning average salaries or even minimum wage. A sensible conversation about it can only be had once the net income on a household basis is used for comparison: there’s a very good reason why that’s how all of our comparator countries structure their tax systems. Not only is it more fair but it reduces perverse economic incentives and distortions and encourages people to work more and raises tax revenue but as usual, the UK doesn’t look around the rest of Europe etc. and emulate the more successful models.

Do you still have said find? Asking for a friend 😂

She said further along on the thread that she handed it in to her local police station.

Thanks, I didn't see that.

She did also say she’s not done a thorough search of the basement since, so who knows what might still be in there?😀

I will help with the search! 😁💪