To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

[Youllneverseemeagainn]

Anybody can write whatever they want and can fabricate everything.
I'm amazed by the number of posters who claim to earn circa 200k (and no not just women). They claim they've 'worked damn hard' to get here and now only need to work about 3 hours a week in some mysterious role. The number of people earning this sort of salary in reality is very low, what are the odds that they're all on Mumsnet?

The number of posters with perfect marriages, still having amazing sex 3 times a day after 65 years of marriage, slept together within 3 seconds of meeting and moved in together the same day, husband covers the bed in rose petals still every day and so on. Again it's not the norm.

Everyone's child is a strapping 6'4 with 'model looks', thin as a rake despite eating 4000 calories a day.

It's just not representative of most people, I'm not saying the above doesn't exist but it's the number of posts on here that stipulate things like this, it feels very exaggerated, does anyone else find this?

I more often have the opposite thought - someone says something really mundane like
"We like to have a roast on a Monday because I work on Sundays" ...."you're lying"

"My kids hate bananas" ...."The poster is lying"

"My friend has a car finance agreement that's £400 each month" ...."Why are you lying"

There are 70 million people in the UK. A lot of them are adults that could post on mumsnet if they wanted to yet people are accused of lying about the most mundane things.

I think the skew towards higher earners is just because someone is more likely to write "I have £2000 left each month after all bills can I afford a cleaner" rather than "I have £10 left after all bills can I afford chips for tea?"

The current "Would you vote reform" thread 99% saying no when reform are the most popular party in the polls. People's posting is skewed towards what gets approval/esteem so "do you have debt" most common response is "no, never would I ever" even though many people have debt. "Do you save" most common response yes 2k each month after saving 1k in my pension and £500 in the junior ISA. It's not that people are lying it's that most people that would say "no - I have nothing left to save" just scroll on by as they don't want to hear the "how do you sleep at night with 8k on a credit card" comments.

They also have bird like appetites and can make one chocolate brownie last four days

A lot of threads on MN are 'benchmarking' threads for the average middle who often seem to have a 'crabs in a bucket' mentality.

Just to add the "What disposable income do you have?" are my favorite waste of time.

I assume someone trying to figure out if their budget is looking Ok and if they can afford a Costa with their mate each month. Full of replies of "Myself and my partner have 2k fun money each after money is put aside for investing, pensions, hair and makeup, long term savings, short term savings, medium term savings....."

I don't think the replies are lies though just fortunate people keen to show off.

Parents who have managed to give a sense of purpose to their kids, raise them to have other interests than video games, but go for physical activity and work hard toward their goals?

when so many people just want to slob on the sofa and watch tv every evenings and weekends?
Yes, I'd say having sporty kids is an achievement,

Also, the competitive under eaters. which some of us call normal eater, as opposed to competitive over-eater who must have a family size pizza, garlic bread, jacket potato and I am sure I forget something to start feeling full😂

It's funny, if someone claims that weight jabs make them eat a lot less (and lose weight in the process) they are applauded on there. But if someone is eating the same amount but without the jabs, they're lying?

I avoid the earnings threads. I graduated in 2008 and during the recession was on £15k (yes, full time, and that was normal). The same sorts of jobs in my area are still under £30k. I'll probably never get over around £45k which is a pittance according to Mumsnet.

People don’t talk openly about regretting becoming parents in real life because it’s a bit taboo. Doesn’t mean these people don’t exist, there is a Facebook group for regretful parents for example.

Where’d be the point of lying though, it’s an anonymous forum…I also got accused of lying here after I said I got pregnant twice at first time trying past the age of 40. I get it why people might lie in real life, but there’s literally nothing to gain from lying in an online forum where no one knows who you are. I think it’s more likely that there are a lot of people on here, and that people interact with threads that are relevant to them.

Its not hard at all, no. That article says the average age is 31. It's predicted to be 35 for girls born in 2025. Neither figure is near 40.

First of all, I’m fascinated by the discovery of large amounts of class A drugs. What on earth do you do in that situation? Obviously they are illegal so one wouldn’t want to be associated with it - unless that contributed to the massive income & savings of course. But it belongs to someone, somewhere, and they will eventually miss it! Did the owners of “your” coke come calling, @Whowhatwhere21?

FYI I have adequate income, am “squeezed middle”, disabled, have gorgeous babies whom I loved despite PND (a couple of decades ago). I would, however, dearly love a DH who doesn’t fart in the presence of a lady, or indeed me!

Do you understand what “average” means? If the average is 31 then 40 is not highly unusual unless you’d also consider 22 to be highly unusual? Neither 40 or 22 is average but neither inspires incredulity when the average is 31.

If the average is rising to 35 then 40 is no more unusual than 30 (assuming they’ve used the mean not the median, but in either case if the average is 35 then 40 is quite close to that in the span of a lifetime! It’s not as though there’s some rule that everyone must procreate at an identical age).

Called 101, I said to the lady ' I've just found a kilo of coke in my cellar'. Her reply was ' you've found a kilo of coke on your fella? Where is he now, is he still in the house with it on him or has he left?' Signal is crap here, it took a few goes for her realise what i was saying, she said someone would come and fetch it in the hour and search the rest of the cellar.
No one turned up, she called back and asked me to take it to my local station so I headed off. Then had a massive panic in case I got pulled over on the way as I realised she never took my reg plate or details.
The lady on the desk at the station had no idea I was coming so she was shocked when I dropped a brick of coke on the counter. She went out back to speak to someone, came back and asked me if I wanted a receipt for it?!
That was the end of that. I still haven't had a proper search of the cellar to see if there is more. It took us 4 years of living here to find that one!

OMG - mind boggles, doesn’t it? And they wonder why the crime stats are where they are just now 🤦🏽‍♀️

Your life is more exciting than mine. The last time I called 101 it was while driving into the city to work and narrowly missing some loose cattle who'd broken out of their field on a main road. When someone answered, I said 'Just reporting about 20 bullocks loose on X Road that could cause a serious accident,' and there was a pause before the phoneline person said 'What's a bullock?'

This is also that fact that some posters don’t seem to recognise: obviously the threads will be self-selecting.

Discussions on pension savings, earnings, careers, private schools, house extensions, holidays, home furnishing, cars, style and beauty, even gardening, will be self-selecting in that they attract more people who have higher disposable income so are interested in and involved in these things so have experience to post.

Politics and economics threads will generally attract more people who are more educated so care about these issues (the serious discussions about it in terms of policy, not the ranting ones about personal circumstances).

Relationships threads are obviously skewed towards those who are having relationship problems.

Posts about SEN/ disabilities will obviously attract more posters with experience of those issues.

It’s quite obvious, statistically (even leaving aside the fact that nobody ever claimed that the population of posters on the site was a statistically adjusted cross-section of society to make it representative in the first place… it would probably be far less popular, interesting or intelligible if it was given the general level of discourse on the internet!) that certain topics will naturally attract more posters from some demographics than others so it’s odd that many posters on this thread seem to not grasp this and think that certain posts being of interest to people with shared characteristics must mean that the posts are fake, simply because that characteristic doesn’t apply to them personally.

But is the point not that you can share dark moments, doubts and regrets safely on here?

@Evaka equally a group or thread called "I love my kids and am happy" would be either hijacked by people who are unhappy and looking for a fight, or empty because it isn't really a topic for dicussion.

I love my kids, and I am happy... and there isn't really much more to say about it or discuss with strangers.

I’m a parent of one of the very tall skinny offspring who consume much more than the average daily calorie need. They do exist! Does it help you to believe it if I tell you he has horizontal stretch marks across his back, which I didn’t know were a think in teenage boys who have very rapid growth spurt, and so nearly contacted school when I noticed them as I thought he had been bullied in school? 😆

he does little exercise, he isn’t sporty. He does have a bike at uni which he uses to get to lectures sometimes and he tends to walk rather than get buses but that’s it.

he will happily eat a very full plate of roast dinner, and then refill his plate so that it’s full of roast potatoes and gravy, and eat that. Never heard him say “ooh I feel so full, I feel sick now”.

etc etc. other son is average build in weight and height.

so outliers DO exist, and I assume that means you’ll also have outliers in the other areas you mention, like salary, lifestyle, sex life etc.

takes alll sorts to make a world, as they say.

And the posters who know a child with foetal
alcohol syndrome because their mother had one glass of wine during pregnancy…

To a point, but the big salaries crop up as a tangent on other threads as well. Say it's "If you love your job, what is it?" and there are as many posts saying they love their £200k a year job in law/banking as there are those who love their job at a dogs' home or working as a TA. You're right though; nobody ever said this was a representative cross-section!

Case in point I can join in and say the same for my son, give his stats etc. If your son is 5'4 and 18 stone you probably aren't going to post so the thread becomes skewed without anyone lying.

I've never wanted children so a couple of my friends see me as their 'safe' person. They know I won't judge when they come out with things they would never say to their friends who have children.

But people are far more likely to be on here because they have problems or challenges that they need help/advice/support on than people who's lives are pretty easy going. So it stands to reason that you see more people with unfortunate lives than in real life.

As for the rest of it - I don't really recognise most of what the OP is talking about - I feel like there's generally a good mix of people in terms of wealth etc. And I'm quite sure people do lie - its the beauty of being anonymous - but also a lot of people will change details to make themselves less identifiable in real life - and if you're going to do that, you might as well make yourself more fabulous than reality....

@Faceonthewrongfoot 100% I am not going to post "I love my kids and I am happy with our life, my husband is great and we don't have many personal struggles" as a thread - there isn't anything to discuss it just is!

feel free to ask chatgpt what "an average" is. It will explain it a lot better than I would