To tell friend her new partner was a former client of mine?

[Frienddilem]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I previously worked as an escort, something I started during Uni and continued part time until two years ago when I finally stopped.

One of my friends who I live a couple of hours from these days but still message regularly and meet up at least twice a year, has been seeing a new man. She sent me a photo of him in the early days and I thought nothing of it.

However, on further inspection after my friend shared some specific details, I have realised he is someone who met me on a few occasions in my line of work. 3 or so years ago.

He was perfectly pleasant and polite so no concerns in that respect. However, I feel like morally, I owe it to my friend to tell her? But also feel terrible that she is really happy and I would come along and potentially ruin it.

Thoughts welcome please? If it helps, my friend is fully aware about my former ‘job’.

YABU - not my place to say anything
YANBU - definitely tell her

I agree with this. Once a punter, always a punter.

On that note then…. Once a sex worker, always a sex worker?? 🤷‍♂️

The buyers and sellers of sex services are not the same. Totally different psychology, motivations, experiences, everything.

Of course what he previously did WITH HER is her business.

Of course he paid for sex D/S sexual experiences. He also thought he was getting discretion, and that's tricky, but I really can't feel bad for a john who gets exposed.

Load of bollocks….

What's the point you are making? Or is it just a soundbyte that you think is a gotcha?

She's your friend not him.
I'd tell her.
She deserves better than a man who pays for sex.

No idea what you are on about…

oh yeah, it’s mumsnet where women are allowed to open there legs for money on there own free will but the men who take them up on the offer are complete bastards 👍

Behold, A Man Has Entered The Chat To Share His Infinite Wisdom With The Silly Little Women.

You don't think the people who sell sex have a different motivation than the people who buy it?

As a starter for ten, one wants sex. The other wants to receive money.

No idea what you are on about was my point, but thanks for stealing it.

Take your contempt for women away from a site designed for women.

Maybe, maybe not. If a person's motivation to become a sex worker is money to get them through uni, pay debts, whatever, they have an endgame. For the punter, his motivation is a sexual desire...which he will no doubt always have.

Can’t be arsed with the write a sentence then cross it out cause I’m awesome on social media…

they both get what they want…. Simples 👍

but thanks for pointing out that one wants sex and the other happily opens legs and gets paid for it.

And take your lack of reading comprehension with you.

I don’t understand your conundrum. So you are happy to have prostituted yourself but feel “morally” obliged to tell on your client?

such a shame that women have so little respect for themselves!

Yeah true but other ways to pay for life..

funnily enough I don’t know of one person that has sold there body to get them through college etc….

everyone has sexual desire, so we will always have 🤷‍♂️

This sounds very similar to the plot of an episode of Doctors!

Why, where am I going?

or is it cause I think different to you?

An escort with a moral compass. And when he was paying you for your services did you think you should tell anyone?

Surely it’s confidential

it’s none of her business

Please explain why you feel I have contempt for women, I’m very interested in that.

the site is open for all as far as I know

@Frienddilem in any other professional context, it would be a breach of General Data Protection Regulations for you to expose personal information about your clients.

However, you might want to warn your former client that you are a friend of his new girlfriend, so he can choose what to do with the information rather than you deciding for him.

It's not a job like any other.
She owes former "clients" nothing.
They're all pricks.

Her friend is someone she cares about.

I would tell her so that she doesn't find out from him down the line during an argument then you lose your friend for sure!

You make a well thought out, solid argument! 🤣

Just checked, there were 4,555 episodes so lots of plot lines!

Some really quite bizarre responses on here. Yes on balance I think you should tell her - you don't need to go into detail but I think you should let her know that you've realised he was once a client of yours. She might be very angry if it comes out another way and you've kept it from her.