Help. My daughters weight

[irishchick93]

Hi. I have an 8 year old girl (just turned 8) shes noticably a bit pudgy lately. However, clothes are now really tight and ive just discreetly got to weigh her as the health visitor needed a weight update for baby. (Who ironically isnt gaining weight)

She is 125cm and 68ibs so i convert that to 31kilos. Ive then just checked the NHS website and shes in the 91st centile. I am so shocked.

I really need some ideas of what i could do to help.

She eats cereal in morning packed lunch. Sandwich fruit frube. Dinner is normally fish or chicken casserole, stew type things. The odd biscuit or sweet after. Which i will obv stop. Im hoping the brighter weather will help she will be out playing more. She currently swims twice a week. PE once a week. A daily mile in school they walk around the yard. Drama class once a week and an irish dance class all the above being 30/40mins

Please help i want to do my best to help my girl

I could have written the first part of your post at the end of the summer holidays, except that my daughter is a bit older, and outside of the summer break does about 12 -16 hours of extra-curricular exercise.

We took it as a wake up call about portion size and composition of her diet. She didn’t much like meat, so would fill up on carbs and leave her protein. Because she was then hungry, she was eating a lot of fruit. She was also drinking a lot of milk rather than water when at home, which neither of us had fully appreciated. Whilst we don’t really do sugary snacks, the occasional after-school treat that kind friends were giving her, had become more like once or twice a week; my parents would give biscuits when we went to visit, and she might eat 2 or 3 whilst she was there; she had started getting a pack of crisps after training a couple of times a week. Adding these all together, she was having an unhealthy snack nearly every weekday.

We didn’t mention anything to her about body shape or weight or ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food but talked about a healthy balance of nutrients.

Her diet improved, her training increased …and nothing changed.

That was until the last couple of months, where she has shot up like a weed. She’s grown nearly 10cm in the last year. Her body shape has also completely changed. She was stocky and solid muscle before she got a bit plump. She’s now no longer plump, and still muscly, but it’s like someone has stretched her out. Her limbs seem weirdly long. The width of the torso remains the same, but it’s longer. She has less of a baby face.

So it does seem that a lot of it was her preparing for this period of growth. Her weight hasn’t changed, but her height has come up to meet it.

I would also say however that it’s easy to become complacent with the diet of an extremely active child, both in terms of the quantities of ‘healthy food’ and in terms of being aware of what food they are getting from other sources.

My daughter alway looks a bit fuller before having a growth spur . Might be that

As someone else gas mentioned, she might not be getting that much actual exercise at swimming if other clubs as they spend so much time waiting fur their turn.

i'd try to find things that keep her moving. That she gets a bit 'obsessed' by. Things like the ball on a rope around your ankle that you jump over (from the dreadful description I hope you can still work out what I mean!) you can easily use the dn indoors ! You don't need much space!

obviously when it stops raining 24/7/365 skipping rope, elastics, roller skates. Skate board, bike, trampoline if you have the space. It's not hard to see why I found it easier as a child to be sliim 🤣 I don't think I sat still very often! We also (overseas) had a pool for a couple of years. Didn't use it to do lengths, but was always playing in it with friends/cousins. We were just playing, having fun. Not 'exercise'

also I'd change her breakfast. ALL cereal is sugar in a bowl! I'd make her eggs, porridge, full fat proper Greek yogurt (not Greek style) with berries.

id look at healthier lunchtime options. I wouldn't do sandwiches every day & on days I did I'd do proper fillings rather than processed meat or spreads like Nutella.

& watch out for portion sizes at dinner time. Healthy food can still be too much food & a child's portion really is quite small.

maybe try to swap out some after dinner things for healthier options. But don't cut it
out completely.

she doesn't need to lose weight, she just needs to maintain ' grow into it.💕

They could be due a growth spurt, children tend to gain the weight before they grow upwards.

Be a bit careful. People on here often say this but there is absolutely no medical evidence for it. My kids are very thin and have growth spurts no problem without gaining weight first. We tend to defend chubby children in the uk and fail to recognise that in most urban areas (london, Birmingham, Manchester etc) around a third of year 6 children are obese. Not just overweight, obese. Children who get chubby tend to become adults who are bigger, you are right to worry and address this now.

Swimming isn't very intense. Can you build in more intense exercise as part of play, running around outdoors, jumping, skipping, roller skating, bike riding. There's a reason rural kids tend much slimmer, the whole family lifestyle is much more active. Replace any processed food and white carbs with a higher proportion of fresh steamed vegetables, salad.

It's not the odd biscuit you should stop, it's everything else you should reconsider.
"Cereals and sandwiches" can mean very different things depending on people, but as every day meals they aren't very filling on their own unless packed with protein, and can easily be unhealthy.
It's also very likely at that age that she could be finding her own source of sweets and biscuits rather than just the one you see her eat at home.

I would probably start by estimating - discreetly and without telling her - the calories she eats daily for a couple of weeks based on the food you provide.
You can use a food journal or apps like MyFitnessPal (much quicker to use IMO).
It's very helpful to see it how everything adds up if you want to know whether her regular diet could be an issue.
And if what you've written down doesn't add up with the weight gain, then you'll know to look further.

More vegetables, nuts and seeds, legumes, whole grains, full fat dairy and lean protein.

Less sugar and processed food.

Frequent movement, minimise sedentary periods.

Regardless of whether she's actually overweight, or having a growth spurt or whatever, the above will good for her overall health and set her up well for adulthood.

And I think the focus on physical activity is a false solution.
Yes it should be encouraged and it can help shifting the weight temporarily, but any dietician or sport trainer will tell you that exercise without correcting the diet will have 0 effects in the long run.

I have also a large sample of nieces and nephews to look at, as we tend to have either slim or large profiles in the family, and nothing in between. Those who had diet issues as young kids still grew bigger, despite all the additional sports. They just ate more to compensate, and their parents and siblings with the same lifestyle are slim.

We tend to defend chubby children in the uk and fail to recognise that in most urban areas (london, Birmingham, Manchester etc) around a third of year 6 children are obese. Not just overweight
Agree with this. I understand the mindset of not mentioning weight in children, *don't mention weight or else your child will have an eating disorder.
Being obese is not fun. I'm saying that as a woman who was overweight as child and obese as an adult.

Definitely try to get a handle on it now but don’t mention it to your daughter. Your evening meals sound fine, even with the odd biscuit for dessert. We don’t do cereal on a regular basis as it’s full of sugar and yoghurts are too. Maybe swap for fruit and cereal for something else filling and nutritious

I lecture on diet and exercise. it's true exercise comes a distant second to diet when it comes to losing weight, but it's not true to say it has zero effect.

The main problem with increasing exercise it that it increases appetite, and it's all to easy to go for a sugary snack rather than wait for a meal.

However, holding diet constant, more exercise = weight loss plus an exponential number of other benefits.

As for OP, the diet seems okay and of course BMI is a flawed measure of overweightness at the individual level. It's good to keep an eye on things, but I wouldn't intervene at the dietary level at this stage. You could introduce more activity into her routine. Walking to school for example will burn an awful lot of fat in the long term, without necessarily increasing appetite (as at that level of activity, the body will metabolise fat for fuel rather than sugar).

Why are you shocked she’s probably about to have a growth spurt, please don’t start putting her on a diet or saying something.

my daughter had puppy fat, was chubby till about 14 without that sort of female shape, she then grew six inches, her weight stayed the same and within two years was a 5ft 8 size 8,

leave her be,

For context, my son - sama age - is 10 cm taller and 4 kg lighter. He’s muscular with endless energy, not remotely skinny.
2 times PE per week, 3 dance classes, plus judo and swimming once.
I’ll give you his diet for comparison
breakfast: mix of shreddies snd rice crispies (small ikea bowl), small cup of milk

packed lunch (he dislikes sandwiches): boiled egg, spinach , cucumber, tomatoes/broccoli/sugar snaps, grapes or apple,3-4 cheese cubes, crusty roll, penguin bar and yoyo

Snack: cucumber and breadsticks
Dinner: 3 fishfinger/ 1 chicken breast/3-4 meatballs or similar with pasta or rice . occasionally a 3-egg omlette.
Sone haribos and a small bowl with fruit and veg.

Not a super healthy mumsnet diet, but to give you a comparison

I think most people go through a pudgy phase in their youth. I certainly did. Didn’t diet or anything and it levelled out - have been slim since. Pretty normal. I wasn’t worry too much about it, maybe some extra exercise if you are concerned. Def don’t make a deal of it, I was quite embarrassed when my mum brought it up

Please don’t put her on the scales again. I know you mean well but it won’t help.

What is her attitude to food? That is the most important thing here. Does she eat a varied diet?

I agree with other that have said growth spurt. Also, genetically what is her shape likely to be like? My daughter has always been in the 91st centile and is a little chubby. But she has been through her 2 growth spurt stages and had more of the build from the other side of the family.

Teaching her to love her changing body is very important here.

Her diet sounds normal and healthy. I’d just aim to increase exercise. Just tread carefully, friends DD was in same boat, not hugely overweight, just a little but children teasing lead to anorexia. She is just back at school part time after having to be pulled out due to impact on her body. She is 10yrs old, still in primary. It’s been horrendous for my friend to go through.

Whilst this may well not be the case here, but I come across a lot of children who do seem to be doing a lot of exercise/sports clubs etc but never actually physically exert themselves enough to become out of breath or increase their heart rate, mainly because it feels uncomfortable. It could be worth considering the intensity of the exercise rather than the amount of it, just a thought.

In your shoes I would (without letting her realise, of course) spend a week noting down everything she eats and putting it into a calorie counter. Your description of her diet seems at odds with her size, so I wonder if she's having more unhealthy stuff than you're aware of? Or perhaps it's the portion size. Anyway, doing that should help you know where to focus.

I don’t think most children over eat healthy foods. I would stop any UPFs, including breakfast cereals, which are mostly very highly sugared and very refined. Instead, give her some protein at breakfast, such as porridge with a few nuts and a very small squirt of honey of she’s used to a bit of sweetness. Or eggs on brown sour dough toast, or plain Greek yoghurt with chopped up frozen (defrosted) berries and a teeny tiny squirt of honey if she needs it because she’s used to sweetness. No more fruit tubes or pouches. God knows what’s in them and they’ll be highly refined in any event. But yes, I agree that 8 year olds seem to plump up a little again after the skinniness of 6-7 year olds

Also to add, my understanding is that while exercise is obviousjy good for us all, unless you increase exercise massively, it doesbt effect weight loss much. Please don’t go overboard here and make her neurotic and paranoid

also wanted to agree with this. If she’s eating healthily, by which I mean almost no hyper-palatable UPFs, she’ll almost certainly even out in the end

What exactly is she eating? What cereal, what milk, how much?

same with packed lunch - what bread, filling, what fruit, portion size?

For example cocoa pops with full fat milk is awful, weetabix and banana with semi skimmed would probably be better or even better than that, switch her to something like boiled egg and soldiers.

a tonne of raisins isn’t going to be great as the fruit option but mixed berries would be wonderful. Sometimes it is just small swaps.

my eldest used to be 91st centile at about 4, we used the opportunity of walking to school to keep her active and tightened things up slightly at home and as she got taller it evened out.

she’s now a healthy teenager in ladies size 4-6 clothes.

Orthorexia doesn't necessarily mean a specific body shape.

There is a reason we are all so fat as a nation and it’s nonsense like this that causes it. Since when is asking how everyone thinks a flipping frube is healthy means they have orthorexia? Frubes are utter garbage (my kids do eat them though 😂) and asking the question as to why people think that’s a healthy diet is absolutely reasonable, especially in these circumstances.

this PP does not have orthorexia, however she clearly knows plenty about nutrition and that’s absolutely someone I’d be listening to over the patter of ‘diet sounds healthy OP’. There is not enough detail to answer that accurately and PP is reasonable to ask!

My advice would be to think about the nutrients in the food you are giving her and make healthy swaps

Cereal can be full of sugar and a portion is only about 30 - 40g depending on the type, most people fill a bowl and pour lots of milk and that can add up to 1000 calories easily with sugary types.

Swap cereal for 40g of oats, 125g of greek yoghurt and add fruit on top

Check the sandwich fillings and lower the amoubt of butter / mayo that goes on them, add some salad to it to bulk it out volume wise

The frube yoghurt is full of sugar, again swap it for 125g of greek yoghurt with fruit or 15g of honey for the sweet hit

Make sure the treats are portioned by the recommended size (one biscuit not two or three, 4 squares of chocolate not half the bar, a weighed amount of gummy sweets not the whole share bag) and double check the portions you give for dinner - especially amount of bread and butter given with the stews and soups

Don’t worry about clothes size, I found girls clothes around 8-12 were not designed for a changing body shape and were still based on proportions for a very slim child, so my daughter often wore bigger sizes. Look at girls in her class, there will be a range of shapes over the next few years.

It sounds like you’re already doing everything right already so don’t worry.