Help. My daughters weight

[irishchick93]

Hi. I have an 8 year old girl (just turned 8) shes noticably a bit pudgy lately. However, clothes are now really tight and ive just discreetly got to weigh her as the health visitor needed a weight update for baby. (Who ironically isnt gaining weight)

She is 125cm and 68ibs so i convert that to 31kilos. Ive then just checked the NHS website and shes in the 91st centile. I am so shocked.

I really need some ideas of what i could do to help.

She eats cereal in morning packed lunch. Sandwich fruit frube. Dinner is normally fish or chicken casserole, stew type things. The odd biscuit or sweet after. Which i will obv stop. Im hoping the brighter weather will help she will be out playing more. She currently swims twice a week. PE once a week. A daily mile in school they walk around the yard. Drama class once a week and an irish dance class all the above being 30/40mins

Please help i want to do my best to help my girl

There’s some excellent advice on here - my sister was deemed as chubby by the school nurse of all people and as a direct result has spent the last 45 years battling anorexia.

My DS was plump at primary school despite being active and not over eating. When he hit puberty in year 8 the weight literally dropped off over night and he is very slim now.
Whatever you do, don’t make an issue of it.

If I were to change one thing I’d try and alter the breakfast to include more protein - an egg on toast, or Greek yoghurt with chopped up strawberries. Eggy bread. Peanut butter on wholemeal toast. A smoothie with Greek yoghurt in it.
When days start with cereal I find in my own DD that she just is ravenous for lunch then wants snacks and it’s a constant battle against hunger all day and craving sweet things. A proper breakfast and the day runs more smoothly. She’s full until the next meal.
You could also put out plates of chopped up raw veg / fruit / nuts in the afternoon for grazing. I bet she is gearing up for a big growth spurt. Wouldn’t worry.

If she’s seriously only eating a bowl of cereal, sandwich and frube for breakfast and lunch that’s like 500 calories absolute max which I’d argue isn’t enough.

Kids generally go through phases where they look a bit chunky for a while then shoot up out of nowhere and get slim again. My DS was ‘obese’ at 12, he had a growth spurt and is now almost 16 and 6 foot 1, normal weight.

It's very difficult isn't it. My daughter was very fat in year 6, I was worried about making a thing of it to avoid an eating disorder. Well, her friend who is anorexic soon did that anyway by repeatedly calling her fat during a row so now she's in recovery for anorexia herself

Do nothing. It’s a hormone surge.

DD seems busy enough.

Watch for sneaky, empty calories like soft drinks, fruit juice, extra snacks like toast, butter and jam, flavoured smoothies and drive through snacks after activities. Lollies eaten at school.

Keep her well hydrated with water.

Even if you did nothing but swap the cereal and the frube for two boiled eggs and a mini pot of plain greek yoghurt with some chopped strawberries you would be making a good improvement to her diet.

I don't think you need to do anything too drastic but I would change the cereal for breakfast, most of them are full of sugar so she's basically having dessert every morning. Her blood sugar will spike and then she'll be starving again. Would she have scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast or greek yoghurt with fruit instead? Even porridge with peanut butter would be a good alternative.

Try stopping all treats and give her a little pocket money on a Saturday, so she can chose a treat, once a week herself. Cuts sweets back and teaches how to handle money too, she may save up for a toy instead? My parents did this and no other treats throughout the week.

Think about her genes too. Are there naturally stocky people in the family? I know somebody with three daughters, all extremely active, sports practically every day of the week. Two have their mother’s genes and are like beanpoles. The third takes after her father’s side and no matter how healthy her diet and active she is, she always looks ‘chubby’. It’s the way she’s built. She is a powerful swimmer and wins competitions all the time and is an attractive, healthy girl, she’s just never going to look slim.

Even porridge with peanut butter would be a good alternative.

With respect, that sounds claggy and not very nice! Would a piece of granary toast and peanut better be more appealing?

I have found that most girls pre-pubescent put on weight about a year before they start their periods, it could be this or a growth spurt. Her diet seems quite balanced, just monitor portion size. Does she drink juices or fizzy drinks, Syrupy hot drinks etc, there are lots of hidden calories in them. Don't stress, you seem to have a good diet and exercise routine 🥰

Ds was always around the 90th centile for weight and is now a tall, slim young adult.
Just keep an eye on her food very discreetly. You are obviously loving and involved parent who understands the importance of nutrition and activity.

If you haven’t got one already, a trampoline- even a mini indoor one is great for their exercise needs- however, their weight does naturally fluctuate and even if you start to show the slightest apprehension before giving a sweet treat, she will pick up on it.

whole foods, loads of water, time spent in nature and her hobby are a great balance.

I think it’s important to look at trends and not just one moment. Like others said, no harm in looking at her diet (those yogurt things are basically dessert) and considering more protein and veg if she’s hungry but you don’t want to cut out all the treats at this important time. If she’s interested in running or dance or football this is a good option too but only if she’s keen.

It is so hard. Nag about weight and be accused of starting an eating disorder. Ignore, and be accused of allowing obesity. In so many ways, the lack of money and food choice we had decades ago were so beneficial.

Doesn't sound like she eats bad unless the portions are huge? Assuming she is only having the odd biscuit I wouldn't be restricting anything, just focus on moving more, start walking to school if you can, when the weather starts to improve just suggest getting out more, walks afterschool, games in the garden afterschool (if it is big enough) or take some ball games on the local greenspace, my children love this. Go swimming an extra day a week. We do all these things anyway on top of sports clubs, my kids aren't overweight we just do it for fun and to get out the house.

Whatever you do don't make it about food/weight, don't tell her you think her clothes are tight or draw attention to it. I have a daughter who has just turned 10 and she has gone from being a bean pole where clothes her size were always too big on the waist to filling out in a matter of 6-12 months, she isn't overweight (well we don't weigh her, but she isn't looking at her) but we can see she's changed shape quite drastically over quite a short period (I did a death stare at my in-laws when they said "she's filling out" within earshot of her). I do think she is creeping towards the start of puberty. Her appetite has noticeabally increased, she will ask for more food after meals before bed. She is very active though. We'll just make sure we build more exercise into the day (never deny food if she's hungry), we live a mile from school and we both wfh so we will start walking a few times a week when the weather is better, we do this anyway.

I'm very aware of not putting any focus on weight or eating though, I had an eating disorder as a teen, (I've never been overweight) but my mum has always been overweight and obsessed with how awful she looks in photos or trying to lose weight (she is actually slim now with exercise and eating teeny portions, but growing up she was often a size 22 and weight obsessed, I mean she still is size obsessed and she's in her 70's now). I do think this rubbed off on me so when I was having a hard time as a teen I restricted food as a control thing. So I am very aware of how I talk about my body in front of my daughter (I'm naturally slim, always was, so I am lucky in that respect and have been healthy for 20+ years, no more issues thanksfully). We all eat well and have treats we enjoy, my mum would (and still does!) says things like "the calories, my diet... you'll be fat" we just don't do this, food is to be enjoyed. I'm just very careful not to plant seeds that could trigger something similar to what happened to me. Just make small subtle changes, it could be that your daughter is creeping towards starting puberty early, it is quite common these days.

I would reduce simple starches and sugar ie white bread sandwiches, white pasta etc, sugary treats, sweetened yoghurt etc. Try and increase fibre: plenty of veg, some fruits and whole grains.

I'd try and get some more veg and perhaps fruit into her diet if possible - you've not mentioned either though I assume there is veg in the dinner. You could add some cherry tomatoes or carrot sticks with hummus at lunch, and having real yoghurt with added fruit (frozen berries perhaps) instead of the frube. I used to make and freeze batches of carrot and apple mini muffins which were handy for snacks.

She does sound very heavy - she weighs the same as my 10 year old DS who is 16cm taller. However I think so much of it comes down to genetics.

It doesn’t sound like her diet is bad but really think about portion sizes - some of my friends have been feeding their children adult sized portions since they were toddlers and seem to be almost proud of how much their kids eat. When we have babies we’re encouraged to feed them as much milk as possible and then we wean them and again it’s all about oh isn’t he a good eater already on 3 meals a day at 6 months old etc etc … that mindset really needs adjusting as they get older!

Has she got a bike? I used to love riding mine round the street at her age. Re snacks pop chips are healthier than crisps. Veggie crudities, fruit.

I really wouldn't panic, 91st centile is right at at the start of the 'overweight' BMI chart I think, she sounds active and her diet is not too bad.

Like others have said, you could try switching out the cereal - depending what cereal it is - although I know how hard that can be when children are used to having something, especially if they are changing from something sweet to something a bit plainer like weetabix.

If her clothes are too tight I'd just buy her some bigger clothes and maybe try and be a bit more active together at the weekend - take her swimming again, or to a trampoline park, softplay etc which will have her running around. Really wouldn't think too much into it at this age.

Help her with what exactly? She's a child, growing and changing all the time. Centiles are just the first way we learn to demonise our bodies, and then it's BMI and on and on. She's not off the charts, and you said yourself she eats reasonably well and moves her body. If she's happy, confident and active id say let her live. Also keep in mind she's approaching the age where women's bodies begin to hold onto fat more. It's likely nothing to do with what she's eating or how she's moving, her physiology is changing and that's out of her control.

My kids can eat bowlfuls of cereal. We tend to try and limit the sweet ones as a cereal 'topper'. Although this is not always effective!
Could you switch some breakfasts for higher protein?
Snacks and treats, are smaller sizes available e.g funsized

Does she have sugary drinks?
Large dinner portions.? Again increase protein if possible

Add a bit more activity like walking to school/ to club etc

Well done on being proactive though