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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting 16 year old DS have girlfriend sleep over?

108 replies

VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 20:14

My DS has a girlfriend, they are both 16 and turning 17 in the next few months. Been seeing each other for a good few months. His gf has only been over a few times to hang out in the evening. He said she doesn’t have a lift home after a party they are going to soon. I’m wondering whether to offer her to stay?

AIBU to say she can stay over? Not sure whether to allow them to sleep in the same (single) bed 😬 or for her to have his bed and he sleeps in with his brother in another room. Or just say no to it and she has to find somewhere else to stay or find a lift home.

It all seems a bit grown up but I’m aware what age they are too 🙈. This is all new territory for me as she’s DS’s first gf, WWYD?

OP posts:
Tiptopflipflop · 17/02/2026 20:16

If they want to be having sex they will be, so I'd let her stay over. I'd rather they were doing it at home than in a park or whatever.

Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:19

I’d give her a lift home. Way too young.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 17/02/2026 20:21

Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:19

I’d give her a lift home. Way too young.

Way too young ? They are yr12, just make sure contraception is sorted....

Wingingit73 · 17/02/2026 20:23

Organise a taxi

titchy · 17/02/2026 20:23

Has he asked? Are they having sex? You’re assuming they are… Do you know her mum? Could you see how she feels about her staying over - assuming they ask of course.

Original poster
VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 20:31

I don’t know her parents at all and she stays quite far away (about 40 mins drive although they are at the same school). I wouldn’t offer without asking to her to speak to her parents about it I think.

They do seem very young for that but I’m also aware they are nearly 17. My DS said they’ve not had sex (I had a chat about the absolute importance of protection etc just in case) but you never really know. I know others their age at their school have had sex (apparently anyway)

OP posts:
Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:34

Neurodiversitydoctor · 17/02/2026 20:21

Way too young ? They are yr12, just make sure contraception is sorted....

Show quote history

It’s a lot of pressure for a young girl to enter into a full on sexual relationship at age 16. I wouldn’t encourage it and I’d be pissed off if the parent of a 16 year old boy encouraged it.

Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:37

Just to add, all because she needs a safe lift home.

Topjoe19 · 17/02/2026 20:38

I wouldn't. Just take her home.

deedeemeloy · 17/02/2026 20:40

I have a nearly 17 year old daughter. She has had her boyfriend stay here, and she has slept at his. In her friendship group most that have boyfriends have started sleeping over at each others houses. We have had open conversations about contraception etc.

tryingtobesogood · 17/02/2026 20:41

No, I wouldn’t offer. She can stay at a friends if she’s stuck for a lift. Or her parents could offer to pick her up. It’s not a problem for you to solve.

SlinkyMalink · 17/02/2026 20:41

Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:34

It’s a lot of pressure for a young girl to enter into a full on sexual relationship at age 16. I wouldn’t encourage it and I’d be pissed off if the parent of a 16 year old boy encouraged it.

Show quote history

I agree.

ThornsInACheapBouquet · 17/02/2026 20:43

I would consider allowing her to stay but not in the same room.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/02/2026 20:44

No. I'd consider allowing her stay over in separate rooms, not a chance they'd be sleeping together.

Icecreamisthebest · 17/02/2026 20:44

No. She must have friends she can stay with surely? Can she spend the night at the party house - it's fairly common at house parties that lots of people stay over.

Otherwise you're setting a precedent that any GF gets to stay over if they don't have a lift home.

Cosyblankets · 17/02/2026 20:44

If they wanted to do it they would but he said they haven't.
If he's breeding honest with you maybe they don't feel ready.
If she's not asked to stay and neither has he then i wouldn't offer.
At that age my parents would have picked me up or made sure i had enough put aside for a taxi.
It's not your issue

Mathsdebator · 17/02/2026 20:45

If they're not having sex I'd not want to put the offer of sharing to them. I'd keep it casual the first sleepover, especially after a party, and offer her ds' bed alone this time

If they push back it opens the conversation then you can decide what you're comfortable with

Nofeckingway · 17/02/2026 20:46

I might be OK with her staying in his room and he bunks in with his brother . Apart from their age , I wouldn't want anyone in a relationship of just a few months sleep together in my house . And that went for my DCs in their early 20s while living here . Told them I didn't want a parade of random partners at the breakfast table . 🤐
But has he asked you ? Really it's up to her parents to ensure their daughter's safety home.

OhDear111 · 17/02/2026 20:47

What can a parent not pick her up? I always picked up my DDs from parties. Never would I want them knowingly in a single bed with a boy. If she stays, are parents picking her up the next day? I’d make sure DS was on the sofa! Or at least started off there. Her parents need to be consulted though.

CinnamonBuns67 · 17/02/2026 20:48

I'd certainly give the choice, I'd ask her whether she would prefer to sleep over or for me to take her home.

Tablesandchairs23 · 17/02/2026 20:50

Id offer for her to stay in different bedrooms.

Original poster
VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 20:50

I have no idea why her parents can’t pick her up. I think it’s best she stays over at the party house or at a female friends. It just feels too soon for me. Maybe once they’ve been seeing each other for a good while longer and are over 17 it will feel different. I also don’t want to encourage it and I’m in denial at my baby being at this stage!

OP posts:
LastSeenDancing · 17/02/2026 20:50

Something is off here. Apparently your son hasn’t asked, they haven’t slept together but you’re considering them sharing a single bed…. 🤔

cramptramp · 17/02/2026 20:50

Tiptopflipflop · 17/02/2026 20:16

If they want to be having sex they will be, so I'd let her stay over. I'd rather they were doing it at home than in a park or whatever.

Why on earth why do you want to know exactly where and when your child is having sex? I think that’s weird.

Thechaseison71 · 17/02/2026 20:53

OhDear111 · 17/02/2026 20:47

What can a parent not pick her up? I always picked up my DDs from parties. Never would I want them knowingly in a single bed with a boy. If she stays, are parents picking her up the next day? I’d make sure DS was on the sofa! Or at least started off there. Her parents need to be consulted though.

Not all parents drive you know!!

Neither of mine did , nor did many of my friends parents. We made our way home and were younger than that

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