To think the test must be wrong

[chillidoritto]

I am in a state of hysteria here. I am in the peri and on HRT. We haven’t been particularly careful because I didn’t think I needed to be.

Have been feeling tired, off colour and have had ridiculously sore boobs. Have just had a positive test.

Can the HRT hormones somehow affect the outcome of the test?! This is the hope I am clinging on to.

Anyone?

I shouldn't be surprised by the mindless, soppy emotional blackmail being posted here by several. I am - perhaps not so much surprised as disgusted. I'm so old, I remember when abortion was not readily available and there was no chemical option. I never heard this bullshit, just gentle queries of the 'are you sure?' variety and offers of assistance.

I'm sure it would've been different had I lived in Ireland. I'd like you all to take your thinly-veiled, moralistic judgement back to whatever dark backwater it came from. And shut the fuck up when speaking to a woman facing a problematic pregnancy.

That is not what OP is here for.
Very unhelpful comment!

Just sending a hug @chillidoritto

Look after yourself, whatever the outcome.

I have to say that my mother was Irish born and bred and she totally believed in women's access to contraception and abortion. She had a very practical streak and remembered horrible tales about young women sent to live with aunts in a distant part of Ireland for about a year before returning home and even worse tales about women killing themselves. She remembered the horror of married women worn out by a baby a year for years on end. She did emigrate though so she possibly was not representative of her time. Abortion is now legal in Ireland, following a referendum, so the majority of Irish voters must have have caught up with her thinking.

I am astonished by people exhorting OP to enjoy motherhood. She has enjoyed motherhood five times already and with the best will in the world, I am struggling to see how she could further enjoy motherhood at 49 with five other children, young children, needing care and after a no doubt very problematic pregnancy. I can remember how exhausted I was with my second at 37 and I simply couldn't imagine coping or wanting to cope at 49 and that's even with three less children. In any case, very few pregnancies at this age result in a live birth because Mother Nature simply takes care of the problem.

Not only is this guilt tripping bullshit, it's factually incorrect. At OPs she, the loss rate is over 80%. The chance she would have the 'gift of a baby' even if she went through with the pregnancy is slim.

This. How awful that someone personally attacked the OP asking for help and guidance. Start your own thread if you want to debate termination.

Would any doctor advise you to carry on using contraception at age 50 when you've gone 12 months with no periods? Surely not.

Please be aware that if you have no periods for a year (whilst not taking HRT or hormonal contraceptives), and then you start bleeding again, that is defined as “post menopausal bleeding” and requires investigation.

Good post, thank you.

My GP won’t prescribe hrt without birth control, her preference is a mirena. I know I fell pregnant before hrt at 46. You do sometimes have an extra fertile flush just before menopause. I consulted a women’s choice clinic and was told they did get quite a few people in the same situation as me.

Sending you a hug OP. Whatever you decide to do is up to you and you owe no explanation to anyone x x

Why so xenophobic? What has Ireland got to do with this woman and her late and unexpected positive pregnancy test.

So much projection.

I’m peri and last year had several positive pregnancy tests. Was shocked as I was convinced it wouldn’t be possible. Booked in to the clinic but when I tested again before going it was negative. It just went away and I got my period a month later. I had to say my GP was not very helpful during.

It was meant to be a quick way to explain, but if you want to be technical - the potential for multiple egg release, irregular ovulation, and hormonal shifts plus a feeling of complacency that they are “past all that” makes unexpected pregnancy in the mid/late 40s age group a much more common than expected occurrence.

Better?

Oh OP I would imagine you've run far away from this thread which seems to contain some peak mumsnet nastiness. But just in case you are still reading - big hugs. Take some time for yourself to decide what to do.

People who attack you are stupid. No form of contraception is fail safe except complete abstinence. It sounds like you conceive really easily which would be great if you were 30!

Whatever random idiots on the internet say, you have choices. Good luck

Very best of luck to you OP.

FWIW I'm 53 and a couple of weeks ago went for the morning after pill. We went out, got tipsy and had sex and then I remembered that I'd not actually taken my pill for weeks because I am thoroughly in the middle of menopause. So yes, mistakes happen, and you can think you know your body and then your body surprises you. How many stories over the years have you heard about women who think it's all over for them accidentally conceiving and assuming their periods stopped because of menopause? I know of LOTS. And IRL examples too. One of my friends is 24 years younger than her next youngest sibling.

I hope that everything works out and much support to you.

I often wonder why women complain about how badly we are treated by men when threads like this show we are more than capable of being horrible to a woman in distress.
Peri and menopause is a time of transition. You literally don’t know what’s going on.
I am sure OP felt she was listening to her own body and her periods, as she had known them, had ended.
Whatever the test result is when she goes to the GP, she’s clearly a loving, caring mum and would have a tough choice to make.
If it did happen to be a pregnancy, and OP decided to end it, if she were my friend I would absolutely support her in that choice.
There are so many risks with pregnancy at this age, I am sure any medical staff would show huge sympathy and provide solid advice.
OP, you’ve already done your bit as a mum, you want to keep enjoying having some time back, as well as being a parent.
If you made a different choice, then as a mum anyone could understand that. Your other half is with you and you clearly have a loving partnership.

Love and luck, OP

I knew someone who got pregnant at 52. Her first child. It is definitely still possible.

Would any doctor advise you to carry on using contraception at age 50 when you've gone 12 months with no periods? Surely not.

@DeftGoldHedgehog The guidance (it's on the NHS website) is use contraception for 2 years if your periods stop before 50, and for 1 year if your periods stop at 50 or older.

So if periods stop at 49, you need to use contraception till age 51 (at least, to be sure.)

I'm 51, and in peri. I couldn't imagine suddenly being faced with pregnancy now (or even at 48). You have to take the path, that's best for you and your family. Thankfully, my husband had the 'snip' once we decided we didn't want any further children, and for us that has been the best decision.

This. Here to give you a handhold OP.

Gosh OP sorry you're going through this. I had a similar scare age 51 (yes 51 so be warned all!) and DH & I both agreed we would go ahead with a medical termination if I was pregnant. I had always wanted a 3rd child and spent many years having to come to terms with 2 healthy children being enough & couldn't ever imagine myself having a termination but there was absolutely no way I was risking my own health, would knowingly bring a child into the world with a high chance of disabilities or medical problems, we couldn't afford it and didn't have the energy or interest in raising a child whilst managing menopause and starting to think about our retirement!

Go easy on yourself and be thankful we live in a country where you can make the best choice for you and your family.

Oh holy horrors - my idea of a nightmare. Good luck with whatever choice you make but for me it would be termination. I feel too old at 49 to have a baby.