To think the test must be wrong

[chillidoritto]

I am in a state of hysteria here. I am in the peri and on HRT. We haven’t been particularly careful because I didn’t think I needed to be.

Have been feeling tired, off colour and have had ridiculously sore boobs. Have just had a positive test.

Can the HRT hormones somehow affect the outcome of the test?! This is the hope I am clinging on to.

Anyone?

Again, the advice in this post is incorrect.

@chillidoritto, very glad to hear you were able to access appropriate care quickly, and that staff were kind.

Slightly worrying to hear even staff are giving advice that the duration of your fertility depends on how many children you’ve had though - this just isn’t true. However, no matter now. Medical and nursing staff are not immune from old wives tales.

I’m glad you are firm on your decision. The snip for DH sounds like an excellent idea!
Again, all the best to you.

What advice?

The advice about hormonal changes in perimenopause causing false positives.

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne thanks

"I feel truly hideous, physically and mentally."

I am sorry you feel like that I am 100% pro choice but I can understand why it would still be a difficult decision for some. I would think the chances of having a successful pregnancy with a healthy baby are low. Along with the huge impact on your existing children. It sounds like it is the right decision for you.

And I appreciate you spreading the warning that peri does not mean no precautions. I am hopefully 10+ years off it but it is good to know

Sending hugs OP! I’ve read your update that it has been confirmed. I did the medical tablets too and had to (quite unluckily) do 2 rounds of them - they had offered surgical for the second round but I declined as I didn’t want to undergo an anaesthetic. Again I was around the 6 week mark. DP booked in for the snip afterwards. It was completely the right decision for us long term - we physically financially couldn’t have sustained a baby AND a backstep in my career

I wish you peace with whatever decision you make

On a further note OP - I do recall a family I knew a long time ago who got pregnant again unexpectedly and also slightly later in life - early 40s. They already had 3 children (all single births) and thought what’s one more?! They had triplets.

In the not too distant past I remember being told by a medical friend that in ireland pre abortion legislation, it was more than half women in their mid to late 40's, married, having unexpected pregnancies, that were flying to the UK for early terminations.
My own mother had a surprise twin pregnancy in her mid 40's after a 10 year gap.
She went ahead with it 45 years ago and both gifls were healthy and well.
It was still a terrible strain on her marriage, which never really recovered.

You sound utterly clueless. I'm actually shocked of how little you know.

At 49? Yes! Yes it would. It would be incredibly unfair on the child (I was that child, trust me it’s not fun) and unfair on herself! Not to mention her existing 5 kids.

Yes!

Hope it's all gone well OP and you're feeling OK. Rest up ❤️

Medicine has taken its course. It’s been a rough few days but I have no regrets. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad but it was completely the right thing. I am extremely grateful for our NHS and that we live in a country where women have choice!! Thank you to all of you who made this a lovely supportive thread! And let it be a warning to all women!!

Sending so much love to you. I've been where you are now. You made the right decision for you in this moment, and that's all you can do. I hope you can now feel peace and relief 💗

Just to say, I got pretty casual about contraception by my late forties - and I think it was at least in part because I knew that I would have options. I was simply luckier than you, OP. L

Think about yelling at least your daughter about your experience. It would be a good example to normalize making a decision for yourself.

there is a wonderful scene in a show called Crazy Ex Girlfriend where the mother’s normally inconsiderate teenage boys shout across the house, “I’ll get [the door] since you had an abortion” when dinner gets delivered.

Sending you hugs OP.

Hope you are having some better days now and are healing both physically and mentally. Sending you love

💐💐💐💐

So much love to you op. I hope you recover quickly and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.

You are right - thank god we live in a country where we have a choice. Every woman should have enough support and help to make the choice that is right for them.

I remember hearing a Dr interviewed on the radio a few years ago about her work at a clinic, she said her youngest patient was something alarming like 12 or 13 (I can't remember exactly) and her eldest was a 49 year old nurse. Be kind to yourself, you have done the best thing for your family. 💐

I’m sorry you’re having to go through it. Definitely not an easy choice but the right one for you. 💐

You’re allowed to feel lots of different emotions at once.

Be proud of yourself for being so open and honest, and for making the best decision for you, albeit not an easy one.

❤️💐

Hugs op.

You took the choice that was right for you and your current family, you brave woman you.