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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the test must be wrong

404 replies

chillidoritto · 16/02/2026 16:37

I am in a state of hysteria here. I am in the peri and on HRT. We haven’t been particularly careful because I didn’t think I needed to be.

Have been feeling tired, off colour and have had ridiculously sore boobs. Have just had a positive test.

Can the HRT hormones somehow affect the outcome of the test?! This is the hope I am clinging on to.

Anyone?

OP posts:
Tiramisutoyou · 16/02/2026 22:18

redjeans28 · 16/02/2026 22:15

Women in Eastern Europe are not biologically different than women here. Whoever told you that is wrong.

I assumed he meant they keep conceiving til they no longer can

of course there are cultural differences and expectations

StephensLass1977 · 16/02/2026 22:18

I am a similar age to you, and my body is in SUCH a mess. Peri, then fibroids started suddenly growing even larger (30+ years of them now) then no periods for 1.5 years, then last year they returned with an absolute bang. You name it.

I know so many women have the same / similar / their own version of my above nonsense. NO WONDER you sound so confused, you poor love. We are told "oooh past 40 you can forget getting pregnant!" until the cows come home. Then, this (possibly) happens to you.

You don't need anyone's permission to do what's right for you, and whatever you do, I hope you're OK. Wishing you all the best x

AInightingale · 16/02/2026 22:33

Do you think your sterilisation failed@Muffsies? think you can still have ectopics but obviously if you're in yr late 40s, far more early pregnancies fail as it's hardly the ideal age and there are far more issues with the viability of embryos. I think a lot of 'late periods' in women of any age are probably extremely early miscarriages.

WellThatsAllRightThen · 16/02/2026 22:35

Gosh OP what a shock. If I were in your shoes I think I would have to put myself first, go through the process and draw a line under it. Sounds harsh but it sounds like you know its not the right future for you now. I am 40 with 3 kids 8 and under and absolutely couldn't do it again, i am exhausted in every manner. This is eye opening that I need to stay vigilant until the very very end. Wishing you the very best op, and dont beat yourself up.

Tumbleweed101 · 16/02/2026 22:35

I'm 50 next month and have four children, the youngest of which is 16. There is no way I'd be willing to start from scratch at this stage. You need to confirm that you are definitely pregnant and how far and then explore your options.

Termination is heartbreaking to decide but sometimes it is the best option if you really couldn't cope with starting from scratch again. You'd be nearly 70 by time baby was 20 and I have every sympathy for having to deal with this at this stage in your life.

BlueSlate · 16/02/2026 22:36

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/02/2026 17:35

Would it be so bad to have a baby?

Some people have the intelligence and imagination to recognise that, yes, sometimes it would be so bad to have a baby.

How about you try to be one of them?

quince2figs · 16/02/2026 22:36

Hi OP - I’m a consultant gynaecologist specialising in contraception and menopause. I’m sorry you are in this difficult situation. I worked in termination services for 20 years.

For clarity (and to correct some info given by PPs):

  • HRT or perimenopause cannot cause a false positive pregnancy test
  • positive PTs are invariably correct in my 26 year experience in this field -apart from when someone has done the test incorrectly (reading after 30 mins, for example, or using an ovulation test in error
  • PT can be a false negative after 16 weeks of pregnancy, but I find this is not the case for many pregnancies
  • Contraception is advised up to 55y if a woman is sexually active, whether on HRT or not, but this should have been explicitly discussed with you and an appropriate method supplied by your HRT provider, which would usually be your GP. It is a failing on their part not to have done so
  • Chances of conceiving at 49y are however much lower than at 19y or 29y … you’ve been unlucky

Your positive test means there is pregnancy tissue producing BhCG, the initial pregnancy hormone. However, because perimenopause and HRT can cause irregular or no bleeds, and because any scheduled bleeds on HRT are not periods (but withdrawal bleeds, similar to being on the combined contraceptive pill), it’s difficult to date your pregnancy from last bleed accurately.

Also, as with any pregnancy, there is a chance it may not continue, and miscarriage is much more likely at 49y than when younger. This could mean you have a heavy bleed at some stage, no bleed, or what feels like a late normal period, depending on type of miscarriage and gestation.

Ectopic pregnancy must always be considered and excluded too - please, if you have any symptoms of this (dark or watery vaginal loss, low abdominal or pelvic pain, especially if on one side, shoulder tip pain, feeling unwell or faint) please attend A&E without delay, calling an ambulance or someone driving you there. Not trying to alarm you, but ectopics are common and can be dangerous if not treated https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ectopic-pregnancy/

You absolutely need a scan for gestation and site of the pregnancy; if you are early (less than 6 weeks, dated from LMP which is not so helpful here) it may be that the first ultrasounds scan is inconclusive.

Depending on where you live and how your local services are arranged, some Early Pregnancy Units would see you for a scan, and you may need GP to refer or be able to self-refer. My local area EPAU would not see you unless you had symptoms of and ectopic or miscarriage, and don’t take self-referrals (sorry not helpful I know!).

Most termination services in England are provide by third-sector organisations (BPAS, MSI or NUPAS) and most take self-referrals. They are usually your quickest option for a scan, and attending there does not mean you need to proceed with a termination. A termination sounds like an extremely valid option for you, and you will not be judged.
.Another caution - may terminations are now carried out remotely if a woman chooses a tablet option (Early Medical Abortion = EMA). It is not safe for you to have an EMA without a scan as explained above; sometimes TOP nursing staff do not have much gynaecology/menopause knowledge and may be unaware.

Sounds like your best bet is to see GP tomorrow if possible, who can advise on local TOP and EPAU access, and best way to arrange a scan. I hope you can access what you need without delay, and that care is good.

Wishing you all the best.

nhs.uk

Ectopic pregnancy

An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilised egg implants itself outside of the womb, usually in one of the fallopian tubes.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ectopic-pregnancy

redjeans28 · 16/02/2026 22:36

Tiramisutoyou · 16/02/2026 22:18

I assumed he meant they keep conceiving til they no longer can

of course there are cultural differences and expectations

But they don't. Whatever way it was 'meant' is wrong.

quince2figs · 16/02/2026 22:44

Oh, and GP pregnancy test is no more “sensitive”or accurate than any cheap standard test done correctly at home. Same for hospital or TOP service tests.
Blood test not useful here, unless urine PT positive and a scan shows no visible pregnancy in uterus.
GP cannot diagnose pregnancy any other way than doing a PT or arranging a scan - they certainly cannot diagnose by examination. … unless you were in late pregnancy, which sounds unlikely.

It would be really helpful if posters limit themselves to fact, rather than what they erroneously believe to be true about pregnancy …. peddling AI generated myths and old wives tales are not going to help OP, or anyone else.

AnxiousUniParent · 16/02/2026 22:45

Sending hugs and support. You will make the right decision for you and your family. It is OK to think that 5 children is enough and you were not unreasonable to have been lax with contraception. Let go of any feelings of self judgement and let go of the feeling that anything other people might say or think can have any impact on you. Put yourself at the centre and put yourself first.

ProudCat · 16/02/2026 22:45

chillidoritto · 16/02/2026 21:27

To those people attacking me, I hope you never make a mistake. I have never heard of anyone my age having a baby / getting pregnant and my peri symptoms had been sufficient enough to make me think I was safe. My youngest boys are in reception, I was starting to get my life back.

I am the child of 'the last hurrah'. My mum didn't even know she was pregnant and my dad ripped the exhaust off the car reversing over something weird when she finally found out - about 2 weeks before I came along. They were still in shock when I arrived and I didn't even have a name at first.

Look, it happens. If you need to get it sorted, then you need to get it sorted. Might like to think of a Mirena coil as your P part of your HRT though in future.

Womaninhouse17 · 16/02/2026 22:46

Your body, your life, your choice. Ignore the idiots. I could not have coped with a baby at that age and remember once thinking I might have been pregnant, though luckily I was mistaken. I hope things work out well for you and that you don't worry too much.

QuickPeachPoet · 16/02/2026 22:48

chillidoritto · 16/02/2026 16:48

I already have 5 children. I can’t have another, I just can’t. I’m not sure I can cope. I’m already an “older mum” although DH is 10 years younger. I will phone the surgery first thing tomorrow to see what they say.

you don't have to OP
Plenty can be done. You have time and choices
Good luck tomorrow

ParisianLady · 16/02/2026 22:50

Empathy from me @chillidoritto I’m so sorry you are facing this. Your mind must be racing and as someone who fears an accidental late pregnancy I can offer my sympathy in what is clearly a very difficult situation.

I would find a way to confirm the pregnancy and date it, and then you can consider next steps. You can be guided and supported through that decision, you don’t need to make it alone. Is there anyone you talk to in real life? Flowers

Muffsies · 16/02/2026 22:50

AInightingale · 16/02/2026 22:33

Do you think your sterilisation failed@Muffsies? think you can still have ectopics but obviously if you're in yr late 40s, far more early pregnancies fail as it's hardly the ideal age and there are far more issues with the viability of embryos. I think a lot of 'late periods' in women of any age are probably extremely early miscarriages.

Edited

In the case i described, no. It was definately just a weird hormonal blip. With my second sterilisation they completely removed my fallopian tubes, so there's zero chance. Also, orgasms give me painful uterine cramps in early pregnancy, and i didn't have that symptom.

Tubal ligation sterilisations absolutely DO fail tho, which is why i have an 11yo son and ended up having my tubes removed. Having a surpise pregnancy in my late 30s was one thing, if i had one in my late 40s i'd have to think very carefully about that.

HK04 · 16/02/2026 22:57

OP sending hugs. Wouldn’t of thought it possible either given your stage of life. Deep breaths. Don’t beat yourself up, hopefully a false positive.

Twowhippetstwogingers · 16/02/2026 23:02

At 49, OP, there’s a reasonable chance you may have a natural miscarriage. Do you know how many weeks? Edited to add that I was an older mum and had several early miscarriages - in your situation that would be the ideal and gentle solution, please, Mother Nature. Hugs xxx

MusicWasMyFirstLove · 16/02/2026 23:07

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/02/2026 17:35

Would it be so bad to have a baby?

Did you miss the part where she said she already had five and she's nearly fifty?

chillidoritto · 16/02/2026 23:20

I’m going to go to bed now. DH said he will support me with whatever I decide. I just hope it is only very early on. That might make my decision a little easier (although not much).

Thank you for all the supportive messages. I will update.

OP posts:
MxCactus · 16/02/2026 23:33

OP I don't know if this is helpful to you or not - but the chance of miscarriage when you're age 49 is over 80%. So the pregnancy is unlikely to stick... I don't know if that makes you feel better/worse but something worth being aware of at this age. Of course still a 20% chance it doesn't - but miscarriage is more likely than not

pastaish · 16/02/2026 23:34

ForLoveNotMoney · 16/02/2026 22:02

A GP absolutely can’t tell from a physical exam 🫣

Showing your ignorance there. They can tell as the ligaments loosen up. In early pregnancy they can insert their fingers and push from the top of the pubic bone. If the fingers meet, pregnancy. If they don't, not pregnant as you haven't had the same loosening. The cervix also shows some changes. This is how my first pregnancy was confirmed when the doctor wasn't sure and the blood test hadn't come back yet. So yes, a physical exam can help give a good indicator.

everynamewastaken · 16/02/2026 23:34

Entirely different circumstances but I contacted BPAS for an unplanned pregnancy (my pregnancies have to be carefully planned due to medical issues and I didn't think it was fair to risk it) and it was very smooth and easy process so try not to worry. You don't have to go to your GP - they will schedule a phone appointment and assess you and everything is done at home if it's early. Obviously not something I want to do again but if it's the right choice for you and your family then the option is there and I was so relieved I could do everything at home and the midwife I spoke to was so understanding.

KeepOffTheQuinoa · 16/02/2026 23:42

OP, I hope you get some sleep.

You haven’t done anything wrong or bad and I think many people would assume that being on HRT for peri kind of signals the end of your fertile time.

And in the end what matters is what you want and you don’t want. Not how it happened.

It’s your body, your life, your family’s lives.

When I made what was the right decision for me it wasn’t hard and I have never had regrets.

💐

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 16/02/2026 23:49

Fully understand your reluctance. I really wanted a 4th but number 3 didn’t show up till i was 41 and i decided that i couldn’t risk another difficult pregnancy (always vomit my body weight daily) and difficult birth-never got past 36 weeks with Csections and my babies were all tiny needing NICU. With the best will in the world, i also knew that i couldn’t cope with a child with extra needs because it wouldn’t be fair on numbers 1-3.
good luck with your choices

Hotchocolate4 · 16/02/2026 23:49

Oh OP how stressful! You can ask for a scan at EPAU through the GP. How positive was the test? Assuming it was obvious I doubt it’s a false positive.

There are two options, you can look at a termination through the hospital or through a clinic like BPAS. Both funded through the NHS, just different settings.

BPAS will want a scan too as your last period was so long ago to confirm how far along you are.

Both options will provide counselling to help you through the process and make sure it’s 100% the right choice.

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