To think the test must be wrong

[chillidoritto]

I am in a state of hysteria here. I am in the peri and on HRT. We haven’t been particularly careful because I didn’t think I needed to be.

Have been feeling tired, off colour and have had ridiculously sore boobs. Have just had a positive test.

Can the HRT hormones somehow affect the outcome of the test?! This is the hope I am clinging on to.

Anyone?

A big hug @chillidoritto I'm glad you got to see your GP quickly, and medical treatment is happening.

The decision to terminate conception is tough enough for any woman, without all the emotional blackmail about their fertility women are subject to in general social terms (as demonstrated by some PPs on this thread).

Good luck and I hope your rational brain shouts over the crazy hormonal bit, so you don't beat yourself up.

The desperation in your OP was palpable. Remember that. You are looking after yourself

Sending you strength and support op. Tough decision but ultimately the right one I think.
i’m 49 with 4dc and the thought of a fifth at my age 😱😱😱

You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. X
Im so sorry you feel so dreadful and this has happened. But this will pass and it’s right for you and your family. Surround yourself with love and support. And be kind to yourself.
Big hug x

I'm so glad that you received such good treatment. I was horrified to see such awful responses on a woman's site, disgraceful.

I don't think it necessarily is a tough decision. It sounds like a complete no brainer.

But I’m certain I’m doing the right thing.

That is the only important thing.

I find that surprising. In Ireland it was extremely rare at 50 (i literally never heard of anyone) and that was without contraception or any termination options. So I would say it's more than just a cultural thing. I wonder are there physiological differences in people from different ethnicities? Or perhaps different diets and lifestyles traditionally.

None of which is relevant to OPs posts I know, but it is an interesting topic.

That's very subjective though. I would find this to be an agonising decision if it were me. People feel very differently about this, there is no wrong or right way. If OP finds this emotional and difficult then that's fair enough.

I do hope you are doing OK, OP. After several miscarriages we adopted and while we were on the route to adoption, and after, before I was 55, we made sure we were watertight on contraception because sometimes a pregnancy is. not a happy accident, but just a precursor to sadness.

I am also pleased to see you've been for a scan, because I have found that some GPs will assume just as pregnancy test = definitely pregnant, any bleed after that = definitely not pregnant and the last thing any woman would want is the rollercoaster of "am I pregnant - yes I am - no I'm not - oh wait maybe I still am".

Didn’t want to read and run. Sending so much love OP x

True. I agree it would be a no brainier for me too

I genuinely thought another pregnancy (6th counting miscarriages) would kill me. I dreaded an accident until DH was properly sorted out (we didn't do it much).

I hope you can manage to move on positively from this situation. I would consider another GP appointment to ask to be put on the waiting list for counselling in case you want some support with your emotions in the future.

You will hopefully get this all sorted, as the medical prof have said - its unlikely this pg would be viable and hopefully you will have support at home and taking the tablets.

Take care of yourself

I’d just like to say I’d to have made the same decision in your circumstances. Well done for facing up to this horrible situation and making an informed decision with your whole family. I love how intuitive and supportive your daughter is 🩵 . Hope you can have some self care for the near future.

In a side note: They say you tend to have the menopause your mother did. My mum had hers at 51 (3 kids) and had tried to get pregnant with her new boyfriend at 47-49. She got pregnant three times and they were all miscarried early. Sad for her but thanks for reminding me to stay careful/ push for a vasectomy!

I really feel for you. Thankfully dh has had the snip but I still worry that it will somehow fail. We absolutely couldn’t do it again & getting pregnant at my age is my worst nightmare. Take care of yourself.

I am absolutely heeding your warning op
Been a bit more casual recently at 45 around contraception and needed a shake up
It's right thing for you and your family take comfort in that

@chillidoritto Im so sorry for the situation you've have found yourself in op it must be an awful shock.
But can I say im so glad you posted to warn other women that pregnancy is still possible at our age. I myself am 48 and was actually considering coming off my contraceptive pill as I was convinced I'd be too old to conceive as im definitely in full swing of peri. This thread has definitely made me think twice so thanks op. There is no way I would want another child at 48, my youngest is a teen. I'd also terminate if I found myself in the same situation as the thought of starting all over again with a baby would send me into a deep depression.
hope all goes ok op 💐

Thinking of you.
There but for the grace of God go a lot of us.
I'm 54 and on the mini pill. Had one barely there period in this last year. I asked the nurse if I should stop taking the pill and she said definitely not till it's removed at 55.

Of course. Sorry, of course everyone is different and I will admit to being vehemently pro choice: it's important to remember that everyone has the right to their feelings, no matter the decision they ultimately come to.

Glad your GP has been so effective and helpful. Your DH is not the first man to have to bite the bullet after an unexpected pregnancy. The other option is total abstinence.

Then you underestimate evolutionary biology! Hormones can flood a woman's brain to make her feel she needs to keep & protect the pregnancy at all costs - it's about species survival. It's not the OP's rational adult brain - she may be feeling awful because hormones are flooding her brain to try to make her feel she needs to continue.

Sometimes evolution & female biology suck - they can conspire to take away women's rational free thought ...

When all this is done I am going to have serious words with DH about having the snip!

Quite right.
I'm a retired midwife and I've never forgotten a 43 y.o. woman who had three teenage DC...... then she became pregnant.

With naturally conceived triplets, who were born at 32 weeks.

I can only imagine how difficult that was for her.

Good point. I'm 42 and have had more than one termination (it's a clump of cells IMO) but I am nowhere near menopause yet. Our biology can certainly be very powerful.

Op I think your thread will raise awareness so I think its great you came to post. Sending you hugs and support. Xx

You poor thing @chillidoritto what a nightmare for you, what a shock! Take care of yourself 💐& a very "un-mumsnetty hug" for you today x