If you don’t drive your world is much smaller

[Imreallyokayipromise]

I have a friend who doesn’t drive, for many reasons (anxiety, dyslexia) she also doesn’t use public transport so her world seems very small to me. She has a small child who doesn’t leave the house unless they are going to nursery school. Her partner drives but never seems to want to go anywhere either and she has to make all her plans around him and get permission and everytime we discuss it I just feel like she has no independence and her world is so small. It really got me thinking that if you can drive so many possibilities open up and your world becomes much bigger. Even if it’s just doing your own food shop or visiting a friend.

The only thing limiting one’s world is one own choices to be limited, car or not.

What a load of bollocks.

er yeah, but I explained how it doesn’t mean your world is small. I have a licence and I’m glad, but why the need to make others feel bad? If they live in an urban area, they have transport links all around country and the world. Most drivers are jetting off or driving to the highlands very weekend, we’re doing the food shop and going to work.

It absolutely depends where you live IMO.
Not driving doesn't really affect me, I can get to everything I need within walking distance. Plus I'm only a half hour train ride from London so I don't feel limited at all.
However I used to live in a tiny village in Devon with crap public transport. Not driving there made life almost impossible.

It’s not like every single driver out there is jaunting off to the coast just for a dog walk and exploring the uk. Plenty of them barely drive to the neighbouring town, much less the next county or leave the country.

So yes , it is about choices and what you want to do.

This.

My husband and I don’t drive. I’d argue that our world is bigger because every journey is different! Even the same daily commute can be changed by a different bus driver, American tourists using public transport for the first time in their lives at 7am, a bus obsessed child on their way to nursery.

And going further a field is an adventure! Not just a grey road and roadside services.

Its also about being limited physically and mentally, which is most certainly not a choice

You said The only thing limiting one’s world is one own choices to be limited.

I didn't make the choice to not drive; I didn't make the choice to be too poor to afford taxis; I didn't make the choice to be reliant on public transport in an area where it isn't reliable or regular.

How have I limited my world through my choices?

The car mindset is very limiting

I am 52 and I never learned to drive. I lived in London for a long time where it wasn’t necessary. Now I make sure I live near bus routes. My children can navigate trains, buses and the underground, and they are good walkers too. So neither my kids life or mine has been made smaller. It kind of sucks your friend can’t use public transport either though

I can't drive, and I also can't use buses, so my world is tiny. But I have made peace with that.

We have no drivers in our family and we have always done whatever we want. There isn't anything we can't do. But on the flip side drivers have no clue how to cope without a car.

How would you get to (ie) the start of a rural hiking route?

Well you could choose to hike in an area served by a train station or bus route for starters! 🙄

Yes, a lot of them are very well served by public transport precisely because hikers bring so much tourism to an area with good walking and/or long distance paths, it makes sense to support that with bus or other resources.

I've walked around Loch Lomond and the Trossachs by getting the train from Glasgow and using the waterbuses, along the Pembrokeshire coast (good national park bus network with buses you can hail) and I walked the entire South Downs Way in chunks from London, using public transport. There's a dedicated bus network to various routes up Snowdon/Yr Wyddfa from towns, and an excellent bus along the length of Hadrian's Wall, and the Lake District is also very good for getting to and around on trains, buses and ferries.

I made that comment in context to what OP was saying hence my disagreement with her saying not driving is limiting one’s world.

I was not talking about other situations where people actually can’t.

There is a difference between people who choose to make/keep their world small whether they drive or not vs those who don’t have a choice.

I didn’t think that needed to be said.

I don’t drive but I do use public transport a lot, plus I use my bike around the town where I live.

Ultimately it’s up to her how she lives her life but some gentle support for her anxiety might be beneficial.

My next door neighbour does drive and has access to a car yet her 4yo doesn't go anywhere except nursery (when she can be bothered taking her). Her 4yo's world is very tiny.

Just trying to illustrate OP that even women that can drive and have a car daily don't necessarily go out and do fun stuff with their DC.

I don't drive but I live in greater London so the public transport is pretty good. I definitely don't think my world has become smaller because I don't drive.

I think you need to re-read the OP if that's what you think she was saying

And what happens if you go somewhere outside Greater London where the public transport is not very good?

Not all transport is bad outside of Greater London.

I did and all their posts.

Please explain what I misinterpreted.

You would hike there 😁

I fancy a hike in the lake District. I've just checked and it would take me 4 1/2 hrs and two trains to get to Keswick. Not too bad.
I think bigger trips that you can plan for and stay over are probably fine. It would take me about 2 1/2 hrs to drive to Keswick. I wouldn't usually but have gone there and back in a day

To hike at a local beauty spot 50 mins away would take 3 hrs on public transport. That amount of travelling for what is usually an afternoon out involving a cuppa and 2 hrs hike up and down a local hill is less appealing.

It's the little incidental jobs that make a car worthwhile for me. Caring for an elderly parent would be a full time job rather than a half hour round trip to pop in and out. Being asked if I could just nip to the supermarket on the way (it isn't on the way but they like to say it like that) would take on a whole new level of frustration..