If you don’t drive your world is much smaller

[Imreallyokayipromise]

I have a friend who doesn’t drive, for many reasons (anxiety, dyslexia) she also doesn’t use public transport so her world seems very small to me. She has a small child who doesn’t leave the house unless they are going to nursery school. Her partner drives but never seems to want to go anywhere either and she has to make all her plans around him and get permission and everytime we discuss it I just feel like she has no independence and her world is so small. It really got me thinking that if you can drive so many possibilities open up and your world becomes much bigger. Even if it’s just doing your own food shop or visiting a friend.

I think phrasing it as "smaller world" was a mistake though, as it can imply people are narrow minded, inexperienced, limited.

Possibly but it's just a phrase, the essence of what she was saying is fact.

Also, whilst it is just a simple statement of fact, this thread is actually demonstrating that some people without cars are actually narrow minded, inexperienced and limited. Some are saying that not having a car makes no difference. Of course it does! It's fine if you live within the limits of not having a car but if you cannot see the freedom that a car gives you, then you are pretty narrow minded!

I accept that and acknowledged it in my initial post. Then I said that the one thing I missed, not being allowed to drive, was being able to do tip runs. And I found the resultant sneering uncalled for, and based on what seemed to be very narrow assumptions about the options available to people.

@fandango Your tip run comment was very valid. In Birmingham where there's been a strike forever, in the areas where people have access to cars they've been taking their recycling etc to the tip themselves. In other areas, where people don't generally have cars, it's just been piling up in the streets, because what are you going to do with it? Take it in a taxi?

I think the thread is showing that some people are narrow minded or a bit thoughtless sometimes, some people are imaginative and willing to learn, and it doesn't particularly map onto car ownership!

Yes, definitely.

there are many ways of leading a fulfilling life that don't involve driving.

You could dismiss the lives of everyone throughout history otherwise.

Lack of driving doesn’t make your world small unless you live very rurally with no transport. Not everyone needs to drive and there are already far too many cars on the road. However your friend is still clearly suffering with poor mental health, which is making her world small.

I find these threads batshit crazy.

All of these people pretending it's no better to be able to drive than not.

Of course it's better to have a driving licence. Even if you don't own a car. Even if you live in London or on a bus route or own a bike.

It gives you options you don't have if you can't drive.

Naturally, there will always be people who can't drive or can't afford to learn. These people would be better off if they could drive and it's silly to pretend otherwise.

Well, that’s an opinion. We all have them.

You can do all those things if you can drive, though. And you can drive if you need to. Being able to drive doesn't preclude you from ever getting on a bus.

What a thoughtful and useful response.

She said smaller, not small.

Someone with a car is free to make all of those trips on public transport PLUS go anywhere else they want to buy road.

What freedom does car ownership have that I am missing from my life? I mean, I can see that it would make a difference if I wanted to live in the country and ride horses and have caravan holidays, but those aren't things I enjoy, so it's not a freedom that applies to me. It's like saying that being fluent in Japanese would give all sorts of freedoms and would open my world, which is also true, but I don't feel particularly constrained by my lack of Japanese. The money that I'm not spending on cars covers the cost of public transport and taxis when I need them. Sometimes it is inconvenient not to be able to drive places, and I am paying for my children to have driving lessons in case they ever need to drive for work or decide that they do want to live in the country or have caravan holidays, but I'm so glad that they have grown up getting where they want to go by walking, cycling and using public transport, so I'm hoping that for them, a car will always be an option rather than a necessity.

Better / easier with a car is not the same as a “smaller world” without one.

I'm loving the idea that "living in the country, riding horses and having caravan holidays" are the only benefits you can think of from being able to drive.

Yes, it is. If it's easier to go to a multitude of places with a car than without, your options are wider and, by implication, your world is bigger.

It's not an opinion. It's fact. Having a car gives you greater choices. I have a car and need to take my dog for a walk this aft. I could walk her locally or drive up to the coast or into the hills for an hour and be back before it gets dark. If you lived in my house without a car, you would not have those choices. It is literally that simple.

🤣 Batshit isn't she! I have a car but don't live in the country, have never ridden a horse (since I was about 8) and can't think of anything worse than a caravan holiday. I wouldn't be without a car though!

I don't have a dog, but if I wanted to take my imaginary dog for an impulsive coastal walk, it would take an hour and twenty minutes.

This sounds like bliss x

I mean, maybe she's happy to keep her world small. Lots of people have lower horizons and they're very content that way.
More worrying is the way you describe her relationship with her partner.
Hr sounds like a reason to be concerned.

Did YOU read your post?

You say you’re using this friend as an example but essentially, if you don’t drive, your world is small.

I don’t drive and my world isn’t small, I don’t allow it to be small just because I don’t drive, I am even able to do my own food shop or visit a friend! Astonishing I know.

Its not her partners job to take her where she wants to go, she can get shopping online, i dont blame him, nothing worse than people expecting you to give them a lift, shes limiting the world of her child, there are plenty of bus and coach trips where i live, if shes refusing to.do that with her child shes very selfish makes you wonder why people have children if they just want to keep them indoors

The lack of travelling definitely makes one’s world smaller.

It’s not about having bf a car or not, it’s about just getting out there - walking, running, bus, train - if you don’t leave the house much, the world is very small.

Not to me. I don’t drive but I could get to Aberdeen or Snowdonia for 9am tomorrow if I had to

Agree with this.

Not driving hasn’t stopped me from living in two countries, going to 12 other countries, travelling with in them and doing solo trips just using public transport, taxis and my own two feet.

Even visiting different places in different countries, quite a few don’t want foreign drivers driving to certain spots and rather they take public transport or do organised groups due to the area itself and preservation efforts surrounding it.

Yes, takes a bit of planning but so does driving to places you’ve never been to.

The only thing limiting one’s world is one own choices to be limited, car or not.