To wonder what makes a mum be like this?

[Ovenpizzafordinner]

Very driven and ambitious in terms of the children. Head of PTA, attends school trips, all school competitions and so obviously wants to win.
Lots of after school activities, no rest for the kids, various tutors. Pushing children to do shows and perform for others.
Holidays always very educational, lots of walking, historical sights.
Lots of mingling with wealthier families or wanting to be around influential/successful families. Cooking everything from scratch, being very strict about eating chocolate etc. Very strict about screen time.

Whilst I agree/admire some of this, it must be exhausting surely? Plus, is it good for the children?

What makes a mum like this? It doesn’t look a happy place to be

I can imagine, so sorry 😔

Maybe she's just got loads of energy and so do her kids and like a really full life.

What’s an influential family in your opinion ?
They sound like they want to give their children every opportunity? Maybe things they did or didn’t have.
It’s great they’ve got the energy and finances.

Why do you care what others do?

Some of these responses are bizarre. AIBU wouldn’t exist if people didn’t care about what others do! 😆

Agree.

Op seems to be spending an extraordinary amount of time thinking about this person.

Didn't realise initially this thread was about one specific person. Thought it was just a general observation.

If you've got specific concerns about this person. Or her kids have said something that worries you, would have been better to just start the thread with that than try and get people to criticise someone trying their best.

Apart from no rest for the kids and ushing children to do shows and perform for others I don't see any issues.

Is it good for the kids - networks, role models, low-UPF low sugar, low screen time and support to try lots of activities? Why wouldnt that be good for them?

Seems to me rather than asking what drives it she's asking for people's comments on one specific persons parenting.

Do you live with them ? If not how can you tell ?

OP is blatantly ignoring everyone except the very few who are agreeing with her or giving her fodder. One poster found her childhood stressful and that's one of the few posts OP even acknowledges.

That's very telling.

Or telling us her preferred parenting philosophy and therefore leaving everyone to assume it's unlimited junk, screens and an annual trip to Benidorm.

This is really common where I am, maybe with the exception of the PTA. But they're still going to all the school functions and parent teacher conferences. I've seen it in multiple areas and multiple generations.

A SAHP provides a lot of involvement and care. Home cooked meals, extracurricular activities with at least two having a public performance aspect, a sport, going on school trips, family vacations with visits to museums and concerts, structured activities, limited electronic time, no, this is not some unusual, out of reach parenting style. I see the tutors usually started when the kids hit middle school and definitely by high school if the kids decided they wanted to keep on at a high level on that activity. It's about enriching their children's lives.

DH is a ‘top tier scientist’ his parents didn’t make him do any activities or had any interest in his school work. His dad took him fishing.

But this isn’t about someone staying in OP’s house in Mexico without asking or a neighbour cutting through her garden. The other mum’s just living her life

🙄

You actually sound jealous. You could pretty much describe me tbh - although I couldn't give a shit about meeting wealthy people and we might go on walking holidays but we'll also have days on the beach.

Basically, I'm high energy, competitive and interested in the world. I want my kids to have drive, understand the value of hard work, appreciate the nice things they have in life, be confident and interested to learn. My kids are teens and adults now. They all do just fine and seem to talk fondly of the life we have built with them. I'm immensely proud of the rounded individuals they are becoming.

Why is it all so baffling to you?

Yes. So she can be the best. I live a perfect life.

The kids seem exhausted

It is general too, I see some mums like this and there are clearly a few, defensive ones on this thread

And the performing arts teach kids to be comfortable with being in a public space and performing. That gives a confidence with activities like giving a report in front of people, public 🗣️ ng, and even fixing a mishap like a broken string. That's a valuable skill set.

Only SAHPs? 🤔
Any decent parent does all that, got nothing to do with them not working.

A woman at my last job was like this with her son. The kid ended up covered in eczema caused by stress. He was just an extension of her and she had to look good. Now he’s left home I believed he’s low contact. He resented having to be exactly what she expected. His life is one of fear, obligation and guilt so that she could try to erase her poor childhood (not her fault I know). Kids need good and sensible guidance. You are not there as a parent to bask in their successes.

@BufferingAgain how is it any different then a thread about what people do for their dc for Valentines?

Or telling us her preferred parenting philosophy and therefore leaving everyone to assume it's unlimited junk, screens and an annual trip to Benidorm.

Unsurprisingly posters judging the OP are remarkably judgmental themselves. No hope of becoming a top tier scientist if your holiday consists of lying by the pool in Benidorm!

This post nails it.
What's wrong with limited screen time and cooking from scratch. And volunteering. You sound very judgy...each to their own. Live your own life and let this mum live hers. Sounds like she's doing a good job in her own way. ....and no doubt you are doing a good job in your own way too

OP specified stay at home.