AIBU To Think Remote Work Isn't Sustainable?

[HighlandsExpat]

I work a very stable, secure 9-5 corporate job. I have been in this role for 1.5 years. I work in the office three days a week but my team is in another city so I don't see them in person.

I realized today I often go the entire workday without speaking! Which is probably good for my facial wrinkles but actually detrimental to my mental health. I am social outside of work and feel happy with my life and friends, but do feel like my job is incredibly lonely and isolating. Which is odd because I just got a promotion and am taking on lots of responsibilities, but hasn't translated into actually meeting new people or even having to speak more. I send a lot of emails and am chatting on MS Teams all day. I know we aren't pre-pandemic when it was five days a week and you would sort of naturally form relationships at work, but I cannot imagine being in this job in a few years.

AIBU to think this isn't sustainable? Do others feel this way sometimes? All of this is triggered because an old colleague emailed to wish me happy birthday and organized a virtual coffee chat. It made me a bit sad because I haven't had one of those (coffee with a colleague) since I left my old job.

Its sustainable for lots and lots of others though, including me, it enables me to work more hours around a disabled child.

A balance is important. I think some social contact at work is helpful for younger people at the start of their careers in particular because it’s so much harder to learn the soft skills people need remotely.

But there’s no way we are going back to full time office based for all. Home office is so much more in line with family life and no one is going to give that up without a fight.

I need to work all the hours God sent; wedging a pointless commute into my day would shave two hours from my daily productivity just so I can be seen to have my bum on a seat? No thanks.

I think hybrid is best. But for days in the office to work you have to bring teams in together.

Unfortunately where I work we had too many people unperforming at home. Communication with the team they work for (who are all on site) wasn’t great and office supplies not maintained). So now everyone is expected to come in 3 days. This has led to a third of them - 15 people- now on formal management for sickness or performance. It makes you wonder what people were doing with their time at home. Most of the ones not coping with the change are young people.

Blimey OP, you posted asking if remote work is unsustainable as a sweeping statement, then have a go that posters aren't seeing the nuance of your post?

@FrozenFebruary is right, it may not be sustainable for you. And that's ok, it's your choice. Perfectly reasonable to move on to a different role.

Personally I love working at home. It always amuses me when people want to be back in an office environment and argue that everyone should be in one because it's better. Many of us put up with working in an office for years even though it didn't suit us, why would you demand a one size fits all approach again?

Speaking for me myself and I personally .... I think its a good thing to be in the office. Its not just the social factor, as many people have wide circles of friends and family. Its the factor of getting to know, like and tolerate all kinds of different people that you maybe wouldnt meet in your regular circle. Its good and healthy and helps keep society integrated. Im very lucky that we have a hybrid work policy and have to be in the office three days out of five, so it feels like the best of both worlds. But I wouldnt like to work from home fulltime, I look forward to getting dressed up and the commute and seeing everyone.

Hybrid working has allowed millions of women to stay in work when they otherwise would have had to quit to prop up their husbands' careers. It allows disabled people to access a far more varied type of work and stay in work.

Unfortunately for Nige, his mates who put loads of money in to commercial properties have taken a hit, and we must now rally round, stop everything and get back to the office so they don't get any more upset.

I don't have a choice now. I was made redundant and the job I found (it's difficult to find PT work as a solicitor) is entirely remote. For the previous 8 years my office was a 10 minute bike ride away.

WFH is really helpful for work life balance but I get that the lack of social interaction can be a problem. I'd feel lonely if DH didn't WFH even though I'm naturally an introvert.

Well if you don’t want a hybrid job, go and find an office job - there are loads out there.

Nah not good for you.

Excellent for me. Autistic very introverted with physical disability too. Many disabled people are enabled to work this way, so if it’s taken away the daily mail PIP benefits brigade won’t be happy at less of us working! I work 416 Km away from my nearest office because the local one closed/was sold.

Works for some roles, doesn’t for some, works for some people and doesn’t work for others. We’re all different and I think the choice and option should be there if it works for the job.

I’d have hated it in my 20s/30s

WFH job adverts are reducing anyway. So for some companies it’s clearly not working as well.

I have a love/hate relationship with working from home. Some days I love it, some days I hate it. There are aspects of being in the office I miss but then I think I couldn't go back full-time.

I actually prefer working from home, feel my office day is pointless unless I have in person meetings as I sit there doing nothing I couldn't do at home. I went in this week for an in person meeting then went home as the rest of my day was meetings on Teams. Office days only work if everyone else in my team is in.

But then sometimes I find myself not leaving the house or speaking to a human when working from home. I have become more 'anti-social' since working from home too.

I don’t see the point of how your post equates to remote working. You would ‘say nothing’ whether you were in the office or at home. It’s the role itself that’s isolating, not the location.

I am also hybrid. My team is in another city. I make an effort to speak to the people around me in the office and have nice conversations with them, even if they are not in my immediate team.

But the OP is hybrid and in office 3 days per week and still not speaking to anyone. Her issue is not with location.

I am also hybrid. I spend my whole day, speaking to colleagues either face to face or virtually because that’s what my role entails.

I WFH full time and speak to people all day on Teams. Have a chat with DH (also WFH) when I go make my cuppa. Of course it's sustainable - it works for many people.

When are certain people going to bore off about this?

There’s always been types of work that are on their own and isolating.

shepherd in the hills. Rural hill farmer whee it’s miles to the next farm. Lighthouse keeper. Etc etc

some people love those jobs.

other people need the company of other people and they are totally unsuited to those jobs and need to work in close proximity to people.

then there’s jobs that are working at home but constantly talking to people - a friend of mine does shifts in a breastfeeding helpline. She works from home - needs a home office and headphones - but is constantly talking to people as she takes calls pretty much all the time.

there’s many more kinds of jobs than just standard corporate.

Works for me. I work from home and travel about once a week to work events. I lead a national team, predominantly women based all around the UK. Majority are parents and wouldn’t be able to commute daily. They are incredibly productive. I don’t stop talking to people all day but maybe that’s my line of work.

I don't understand - don't you talk to the people in the same office as you?

I don’t work remotely, but almost the whole of the rest of the team does, so I feel like I’m remote without the benefits of being at home. I started a year ago this week, and I still feel like I’ve only just arrived. I don’t know the first thing about any of my colleagues, the osmosis of knowledge about a job and business that you get from working with others, or even just overhearing workplace conversations just hasn’t happened. It feels really inefficient to me, and it’s the most miserable I’ve ever been in a job.

I’m not sure it’s the same for my colleagues!

I WFH on occasion and LOVE the isolation. I'm ND and mostly excluded from the girls' club because I'm not into caravanning/football/tennis so it's great to not have that constant reminder.

I'd do it full time if I could. I can go all day at work & only see people on morning tea anyway. We mosy communicate via email - they even call between offices & it's about 5 metres away!!

Are you generally just grumpy and this is why you don’t speak to anyone?

You are in the office 3 days per week, you are not ‘remote’. It doesn’t matter you are not in the same physical location as your immediate team. Make an effort and talk to the colleagues around you. It doesn’t need to be this hard.

You work in the office the majority of the time. So when you’re in the office do you chat to the people there. Or do you not really chat to them/form closer bonds as they’re not in your team?

My team is scattered in different offices so I rarely see them in person. So whilst I do work several days in the office i personally can find it can be quite lonely working in the office. There are others in the office but it’s not quite the same and requires more effort. So I get your point.

For me, I see that more as a function of multiple offices rather than hybrid working. If everyone worked in the office 100% I’d still not see my team.

I’m neurodiverse and the office environment isn’t sustainable for me. It’s great that these options exist. Once or twice a week is good for me.

OP @HighlandsExpat YANBU at all.

but you will get flamed by the WFH brigade on here who

• had a flat in Clapham during the pandemic
• cashed it in for ££ and moved to Stroud or Stamford or wherever
• are now terrified that 4 days a week in person could be coming to their sector, so spend every thread aggressively defending WFH, in case they’ll be asked to pay £90 a day from their new “impossible” commute, and actually have to pay for childcare, or do washing cycles before and after commute.

This is the problem - no one can have a nuanced debate about WFH vs in office in here, because the former camp are so , so strident about what they gained, and defend it to the hilt.

Sincerely, someone with a fully remote job who chooses occasionally to go into the office (the horror!) for the very reason OP described

I just have autism, but totally willing to swop it for a flat in Clapham if that's on the table.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable for feeling that way but you are unreasonable if you think your experience is reflective of everyone who WFH. My office days a full of people, I can go in as often as I want and would be sat with 10-15 people depending on the day. The only days our office is ‘quiet’ is a Mon & Fri but realistically there’s still people around just in other teams. If it doesn’t suit you by all means find an organisation that does.