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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unwashed Bumhole Smell

128 replies

CantBreathe90 · 12/02/2026 20:59

Whole family have been ill with a horrid virus. Usually me and my partner get the children ready for school together, but today I asked if he wouldn't mind doing it so I could sleep in (he's up with the larks regardless, usually long before the children). I said I would do children tomorrow by myself (which of courses I will do) and give him a rub tonight because he's had body aches.

Roll on tonight, I ask "do you need a shower before I start giving you a massage"? As he felt a bit sticky and greasy, and idk some people tend to just get smellier easier. He said he had a shower this morning. Fine. And then starts laying the law down about how he doesn't want me to start "finding excuses" for not giving him a massage and I'm like "Fine, if you've had a shower this morning I'm sure there will be no issue". However, when he flipped over, I was hit by the foulest of smells - really very pungent. I asked him to have a 2 minute shower and he starts storming about, saying that it's all in my head 🙄 which is a trope he likes to trot out, like I'm insane and can't trust my own senses. How he shouldn't have to be "inconvenienced" by having a 2nd shower. I'm getting irritated by this point, as I don't see why he can't just have a two minute shower (I would hate to think someone was sat suffering my BO if the roles were reversed) and tell him not to bother, I don't want to spend any time with a man who doesn't meet basic hygiene requirements and is so bloody bolshy and difficult. He thinks I should just have put up with the very strong unwashed bum smell, because I had promised him a rub for letting me lay in. For the record, I have no issue giving rubs / massages and definitely wouldn't be looking for excuses not to give one. But think that the desire not to have intimate contact with someone who smells and is a foul tempered oaf to boot, trumps anything he was "owed". Am I unreasonable though? Should I have suffered through and not said anything to keep the peace?

OP posts:
MyTrivia · 28/02/2026 18:00

mistymorninglight · 13/02/2026 08:09

I remember being on the cafe board on makeup alley and a poster there dated a body builder who got so huge he was literally unable to wipe his own bottom.

She was giving him a blow job and noticed the foul smell and he said "keep going, its just my butt" 😆🤣

This is about as funny as a maggot sandwich. How disgusting. Clean men are lucky to get blow jobs let alone ones who smell of sh*t.

Otterdrunk · 28/02/2026 19:47

Lalgarh · 28/02/2026 13:39

This is brilliant & so very apt 🤣🤣🤣

And clearly a thing @CantBreathe90. There may be support groups too lol.

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