Unwashed Bumhole Smell

[CantBreathe90]

Whole family have been ill with a horrid virus. Usually me and my partner get the children ready for school together, but today I asked if he wouldn't mind doing it so I could sleep in (he's up with the larks regardless, usually long before the children). I said I would do children tomorrow by myself (which of courses I will do) and give him a rub tonight because he's had body aches.

Roll on tonight, I ask "do you need a shower before I start giving you a massage"? As he felt a bit sticky and greasy, and idk some people tend to just get smellier easier. He said he had a shower this morning. Fine. And then starts laying the law down about how he doesn't want me to start "finding excuses" for not giving him a massage and I'm like "Fine, if you've had a shower this morning I'm sure there will be no issue". However, when he flipped over, I was hit by the foulest of smells - really very pungent. I asked him to have a 2 minute shower and he starts storming about, saying that it's all in my head 🙄 which is a trope he likes to trot out, like I'm insane and can't trust my own senses. How he shouldn't have to be "inconvenienced" by having a 2nd shower. I'm getting irritated by this point, as I don't see why he can't just have a two minute shower (I would hate to think someone was sat suffering my BO if the roles were reversed) and tell him not to bother, I don't want to spend any time with a man who doesn't meet basic hygiene requirements and is so bloody bolshy and difficult. He thinks I should just have put up with the very strong unwashed bum smell, because I had promised him a rub for letting me lay in. For the record, I have no issue giving rubs / massages and definitely wouldn't be looking for excuses not to give one. But think that the desire not to have intimate contact with someone who smells and is a foul tempered oaf to boot, trumps anything he was "owed". Am I unreasonable though? Should I have suffered through and not said anything to keep the peace?

I can't say I have ever experienced smelling someone's rancid arse on a train! Never! And I have been on 100s of trains (including underground trains) in my lifetime!

I can see why he's an ex. Ewww!

Just think, if he’s smelly when he gets into bed & all that bacteria was festering in his underwear all day, surrounding unmentionable parts, do you succumb to intimacy?
He needs to up his hygiene game. Yuk. 🤢

Sorry OP but this thread is hilarious 😂🤣

my DH is quite big but never smells. Neither of us barely even sweat but no clue why as neither of us is particularly slim

Whether he showers every morning may well have zero bearing on the state of his bumhole by the evening. Or even the afternoon.

And then starts laying the law down about how he doesn't want me to start "finding excuses" for not giving him a massage

Sometimes I read things here and feel like I'm living in a different world.

Thought this was going to be about a new punk band.

Why the fuck does his bum hole smell??!

He must not be wiping his bum properly! 🤢

Does he get soap on his arsehole. Hairy arse with chugnuts swinging around. Urgh

Some medicated body powder after his shower should sort him out, OP. He could always have a second shower when he gets home.

Time to buy him antibacterial soap. Despite his nose not working skin folds do get smelly rather quickly if he's not washing/drying properly. Dove makes a good one, and they have a mens line. He may be self-conscious about it and gets his defenses up when it's pointed out. Good luck, I've dealt with similar situation.

This ^

I find the transactional element really strange. Is it not enough that he gets the kids ready today and you do it tomorrow? You have to also throw in a massage to persuade him to care for his own kids?

The more I’m reading OP the more I’m thinking your DP’s unwashed bum hole is a literal dirty protest & passive aggressive display of how hard done by he is & consequently why you should know about it.

I mean surely most pple if had longer out to them that they literally smell of shit, would at the least go use a wipe to the offending area, if not a full shower esp if expecting to be nicely massaged.

BO I can just about understand someone thinking it’s not THAT bad (even tho grim IMO) but the fact you can smell his arse is just gross. And no yadnbu!!

If had it pointed out to them shld say….

If he smells really bad after the end of day which maybe even down to some health problem.
Isn't that even more of a reason to monitor his body odours and wash and shower often

I think the era when men thought their stinking body odours were regal and heroic and the height of masculinity has long gone. Think pits, feet and the lower regions.

I certainly would not share a bed with a man who stank to high heaven of Ahole. I could vomit at the thought of this whilst typing this up.

Maybe he thinks you are his mummy and you should teach him to wipe his arse properly. Or even wipe it every time he does a poo for you.

Plus his clothes should be soaked in anto bacterial solution/discenfectant before being put intona hot wash.

Don't mix your family clothes with his.

Not great on TV adverts but l thought l had recently seen one for Male bum hole smells and odours.

Some kind of Lynx deodorant concoction. So there must be a demand for it.

Get Him A Can pronto.

On the interim..Don't let him sleep.next to you..And wear a peg on your nose and mask when he starts to smell See if he gets the hint.

Good Luck
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Yes! This!
I sat in a train yesterday behind a woman who stank! It was BO, sweaty arse crack all combined with a liberal dousing of eye watering perfume. I nearly threw up.🤮

it sounds OP like, despite showering, he’s not actually washing his arse properly with soap and hot water. Absolute minger.

Really fucking weird.

And the fact he's an absolute minger as well.

OP genuine question but why are you with this disgusting man? You do know there are other men out there right? Or if not it's much better to be single than put up with this. It's not the 1950s anymore.

When you know it would be a mistake to click on that title but you do it anyway and end up feeling 🤢🤢🤢.

The fact you have to offer something up just to have a small break in the morning when you've been unwell is very sad alone....

YANBU

That you can share a bed with this revolting, sticky, greasy, stinking person is baffling.

You do not “owe” him anything. He’s a dirty pig.

OK, look, firstly I am NOT saying that your partner shouldn't wash! OR that he has the right to sulk/be manipulative because you don't want to touch him - that's enough on its own to leave him for, in my book.

BUT, there is a much bigger issue here surely - the whole intimate contact in exchange for help with life tasks thing - it just sounds totally fucked up!

I love giving my lover a massage. I love doing it because it's loving and intimate and feels great. It's not something I would offer in exchange for him doing tasks.... I'd only ever offer to do it if I wanted to. If I didn't, I wouldn't.

(And he never repulses me, even when he has been driving all day for work and is really sweaty, I must admit, I never find him disgusting in the way you seem to find your husband. That's not a judgement. Just saying).

Do you actually like this man and want to be with him? Because it sounds like, both physically and emotionally, you can't really stand him...... And you may well have a point, I dunno, I haven't met the guy!

And it doesn't matter what other people on the internet think. If you aren't into him, you aren't into him. If I were you and I felt like you seem to feel, I would look to leave ASAP, and amicably co-parent.

Life's too short to stay in a sexual relationship with a man who you feel smells of "bum-hole"!

How can someone smell like that in the evening after a shower in the morning? I don't see how that's physically possible

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