Will dr’s give me DD medical records

[Funparsnip]

DD is 15, she went to the doctors yesterday but won’t tell me why. I’m waiting for the morning rush to die down and then will ring the surgery and ask. If the receptionist can’t tell me, can I do a request for her medical records seeing as she’s a minor and I’m her parent? I only found out by accident so now I’m wondering how many other times she’s gone and not told me! Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

No way you know you must not do this. Total breach of trust. Why not speak with her?

Be grateful she has reached out to the GP whatever it is for. At 15, I still had proxy access to my daughters NHS app so could have seen from that, but since 16 she has had access herself and I would just have respected her privacy.

There's a vast difference between going on with your life as if nothing happened and reading someone else's diary and trying to gain access to their medical records

I would hope that for the majority of teenage girls that their mum saying "You don't have to be embarrassed about anything, I love you and I'm here to support you. I want to help you. I'm not going to be angry about anything you tell me" etc would be enough to get a conversation going

Perhaps the OP didn't do that

But be honest, you would worry about why she had gone to the doctors without mentioning it to you wouldn't you, its only natural and I think this is partly what Caddycat is talking about, above and beyond this Mum wanting to read her diary and ring the GP which in my opinion is a big mistake but I totally get the desire to do so.

We would all like to think our kids would come to us and if they don't, its only natural to wonder the nature of the issue they felt they couldn't discuss with me. Everything would go through my mind, pregnancy, contraception, mental health! I can remember being that age and I got on really well with my mum but some things were just too awkward or embarrassing to discuss with her and I had to be in a particular mind set to be able to do it. If she had been pressurising me to tell her, I would have just clammed up.

I don't agree with the route that the OP is going down but I can totally empathise with her overpowering concern.

But things must be very poor between the OP and her DD for this to happen. It's not a normal conversation. Most people's worries about their DD going to the Dr without wanting them to know would be why their DD couldn't share it with them, not what was wrong with them

Whatever she is going for, she is getting medical help. And wants to get it, which is very encouraging if it is mental health related

Poor kid. I can see why she won't tell you and I understand why.

You have a lot of work to do as a parent. I'd be devastated if mine didn't confide in me.

Yabu. This is between her and the doctor and as long as shes not in any danger they will not tell you. Start respecting her right to decide wether or not to tell you things and she might actually feel able to open up to you. My mum acted like you and I'm in my 30s and I still feel unable to tell her things.

You are being 100% unreasonable.
Reading her diary would be am invasion of her privacy but getting her medical records isn't?!!

If shes 15 they shouldn't give you access. The ICO deems 13 and over the age when individuals control their own data. The surgery should ask your daughter for written permission to release her data, specifying to whom they can release the data.
If they do not do this then your daughter has a legal case against the surgery.

Sorry but no, read what I have said, it can be a totally normal & a good relationship. I had a really good relationship with my Mum when I was a teenager but when I wanted to became sexually active, I took myself off to the GP. Not because I didn't trust her but I was embarrassed about discussing it with her because the questions she would ask (in my head) were mega cringeworthy. But I did tell her soon after when I got past the cringe factor. Not everyone is built in the same way.

But what you need to take away from this, is that my mum and I had a good enough relationship to have discussed sex, contraception etc and what the sensible thing would be to do, when I reached that stage, hence me going to the doctors. She taught me, I listened and it worked.....I just didn't give my mum the heads-up she would have liked.

I can log on to our doctors online system for my kids and see there full medical history

You’re worried about reading her diary but want to get her private medical records! Bloody hell you are obtuse.

At 15 they shouldn’t and I really hope they don’t as you clearly don’t have the kind of relationship she is comfortable you having that info. You reap what you sow.

The thing I would worry about was our relationship.

But that's because I've grown up in a family where my mother was both dismissive and controlling of me.
There was absolutely no way I'd tell her about anything medical, no matter how innocuous. (Not that she would have taken me to the doctor anyway).

So I'd be more concerned about DD not feeling comfortable to talk to me and that I wasn't being the support she needed, than assuming there was a medical issue to worry about.

I cannot get my head around you thinking it’s ok to go behind your DD’s back and try and get the surgery to give you her private records. Absolutely disgusting.

From when my DD was a young teen, I told her that should she ever need to go to the doctor for anything, including contraception, or if she was ever worried about something that she felt she couldn’t discuss with me or her father then she could make a confidential appointment with the GP and they wouldn’t disclose anything to us.

It is important for teenagers to know that they can seek medical advice and support privately from their parents.

I went on the pill at 14 and also got prescribed the morning after pill. Had I thought my parents would find out I would probably have ended up a teenage mum.

I am wondering if the mother herself is a safeguarding red flag. @Funparsnip do you have a partner in the home who is not related to your dd?

Or do you have a volatile relationship with your dd?

This and least she is being sensible and getting help for what she needs

which makes her mature

I'd be concerned if my dd at that age went to the GP without feeling like she could tell me about and I'd also be very proud to find her so resourceful and responsible.

The only path here is to build a relationship with your dd. Not to control her. Not to spy on her. Not to violate her privacy.

I wouldn't expect them to give you access, especially if she has chosen to go to tge GP without your knowledge. That indicates she has made the decision tgat doesn't want you to know the details.

Having said that, our GP has on more than one occasion booked me a telephone appointment to discuss my daughter's test results.

However, I booked and took her to the original appointment, and then for the test itself. It was obvious that I was fully aware of everything and had her consent to discuss it.

I may look to get access on the app, purely to be able to check on appointments in the future . We missed a hospital appointment because the letter arrived two days late. ( they were great at rearranging when I phoned).

Perhaps, but the tone of the OP isn't encouraging.

No and nor should they. Gillick competence is a UK legal principle used to determine if a child under 16 has the maturity and intelligence to consent to medical treatment without parental knowledge or permission. Established in 1985, it requires the minor to fully understand the proposed treatment, risks, and alternatives.

Could be dozens of other things.

No you can’t. After age 11, she would need to give her consent for you to access her records.

If they're under 13 then yes. Proxy access can be obtained without a child's consent if they're under 11. Once they turn 13, that access is supposed to be removed unless the child gives further consent (or a clinician views that they don't have competency). If you still have access at 13 onwards and further consent hasn't been obtained then something has gone wrong in the system.

Batshit. Please dear god. Is this another rage bait thread?