Husband always off when I go out with man crazy friend

[Anouke]

So I do have one friend who is absolutely man CRAZY. I mean she is absolutely single bloody minded on a night out. It’s like a dog in heat. She also likes saying outrageous things (often does so in front of my husband). I just tell her to behave tbh.

All she wants to do is flirt and “meet” a guy. I do think it can be a bit much but leave her to it mostly. I just see it as one of her quirks. Do I think it’s uber healthy? No but I’ve shared my thoughts with friend and left it at that. I’m not her mother but obviously try to steer her when I see her making crazy choices. She is a bit of a Samantha (SATC) wannabe but sadly I do think it’s a bit of an act.

Anyway, husband is always a bit off when I say I’m going out with this friend. She’s a lot of fun. I’ll say I’m going with “Liv” and he’ll say something a bit dismissive. And questions why I’m friends with her 😂. He definitely doesn’t like her.

I mean I wouldn’t ever do anything inappropriate but I see nothing wrong in being her wing woman so to speak and chatting to a guy on a night out.

My sister was over the other day and said she doesn’t think Liv is an appropriate friend! And that I should reconsider my friendship as it clearly makes my husband uncomfortable. It just seems mad to me and a very 19th century take.

i asked husband who said he does question why I enjoy spending time with her and when she’s it hunting for men. Such a horrible, judgmental take imo.

Am I the one missing the mark? I don’t think so. We are late 20s. Married for a year. No kids.

you can be friends with whoever you like but she does sound pretty awful to be fair.

I think you are now deliberately downplaying the situation because you haven’t received the expected response to your thread.
You described her as like ‘a dog in heat’.
Men spot this from 200 yards away, and the fact that you are with her will imply that you are ‘up for it’ as well - her behaviour will reflect on you.

It’s completely normal that your DH wouldn’t be happy about this, and YABVU to think it isn’t, and to construe it as trying to install a Taliban-style restriction on your lifestyle.
He is your husband and is worried about you.

It’s your choice what you do with this information, but don’t expect to be able to continue on nights out with her and it not to affect your marriage.

All of this.

i'd be more pissed off at my friend who can't spend an evening out having a good time with me and was always looking for a man.

Absolutely. It would happen once and then our catch ups would be firmly in the coffee / walk in the park territory. There is no way that anyone would continue these nights out - whilst happily married - unless they also enjoyed the attention from men. Who goes for a night out with a mate and just follows them round whilst they try and find a bloke?!

I'd be so fucking offended!

Appears OP enjoys the male attention, otherwise why would you go out with a friend who presumably leaves you when she's found what she's looking for. Imagine this'll be a short first marriage.

Er, no, I can understand why your dh doesn’t like this. It’s not a nice situation to be put in as a married woman, and regardless of your boundaries, I wouldn’t want Dh chatting up women so his mate could get laid. It’s a bit grim once you’re over the age of 30.

Dh and friends have one mate who is always a liability, drunk and doing stupid stuff, coked out of his head. They steer clear now. Because a bunch of dads in their 30s and 40s really just want a quiet pint, not rescuing a friend from the cops or his dealer or tracking him down once he gets himself kicked out.

Can you not just meet for a dinner out or takeaway and a film or a spa day?

My friends like that my husband loves hearing the Goss from a night out. Mind you we're in our 40s now so these things happen less but it's never cross his mind is be interested in someone else

You dont seem to know what your issue is here?

Your friend is out trying to shag anything in pants (and if thats what she wants to do fair play) you are married and your DH is concerned about her behaviour when you are out together.

So I do have one friend who is absolutely man CRAZY. I mean she is absolutely single bloody minded on a night out. It’s like a dog in heat. She also likes saying outrageous things (often does so in front of my husband). I just tell her to behave tbh.

All she wants to do is flirt and “meet” a guy. I do think it can be a bit much but leave her to it mostly. I just see it as one of her quirks. Do I think it’s uber healthy? No but I’ve shared my thoughts with friend and left it at that. I’m not her mother but obviously try to steer her when I see her making crazy choices. She is a bit of a Samantha (SATC) wannabe but sadly I do think it’s a bit of an act.

erm.... we're slut shaming????

It's interesting and speaks volumes that OP has dropped out.
I can't help wondering if there is more to this than she is letting on and because most posters are telling her straight she doesn't like it.

I think OP indirectly slut shamed her 'friend' when she said 'it's like a dog on heat'.
As we all know some men call certain women dogs who have rebuffed them and more so if a woman is on the prowl like her 'friend' is. She will get called all sorts of names behind her back as will OP by association.
Some men will just look at a woman like this as a ---- who gives it away for free. I bet some of these blokes come onto OP too for similar action.
No wonder her h is pissed off, he's a bloke, he knows how they think.

Indirectly?

how is that indirect?

You are right, OP did slut shame her friend. No wonder she has left the board.