To hate most men?

[Carlie97]

I'm not speaking about the whole male population, of course, but they're so pig ignorant. Sexist, bullish with disgusting habits. I'm currently sat in a cafe and a man, looks to be in his 60's is doing that deep throaty sniff in and sneezed so loud, I almost choked on my fish. Then there are the men who spit in public. Earlier I endured a man constantly sniffing on the train for half an hour. Women are like this too, but men are far worse. Enduring these men is a daily occurrence.

There is obviously a problem with some groups of men (Epstein, grooming gangs etc) but in my own life most men have been lovely. DH, DDad, my daughter’s partner are all fantastic. For the most part, the people who have hurt me in life have been women.

The next time a woman posts a gender disappointment thread about having a boy and is piled on and made to feel like shit for her feelings I’ll point her in the direction of this lovely thread 🙄🙄

I've said this before but all female co housing is the answer. We have out own little space but lots of shared areas too.

One of the numerous reasons I never had children was because of the possibility of having a boy so I for one would totally understand the disappointment.

Last night watching the BBC news it was depressing to see how much of it was dominated by male violence and sexual assault, either directly or indirectly. Lead item being Starmer and the fallout from Epstein and Mandelson, then a quick mention of Lord Doyle and his link with a sex offender, followed by two children being stabbed, then the rape of a twelve year old.
Literally the whole first half of the news completely devoted to it.

Believe me having a girl isn’t much better - you worry about them constantly.

Yes but everyone says their husband/son is lovely and it’s just ‘everyone else’. But no doubt the ‘everyone else’ men have mothers who think they’re lovely.

I have a son and a husband, I do my best in raising my son, I love him (he’s only 3), my husband is I believe a fundamentally decent person who has never said or done anything to give me cause for concern. When we discuss the topic he seems to ‘get it’.

But having been on the receiving end of some seriously dodgy behaviour from men who were the apple of their mum’s eye, whose mums would swear ‘would never do that’, I’m not going to assume my judgement regarding DH or DS is superior to theirs. All I can say is that I don’t think my son or husband would behave that way, but I will never know for certain.

YANBU

There’s a lot to hate about men.

Andy Mountbatten-Windsor

Epstein

Mandelson

Queues of men lining up to spend a few minutes with Lily Phillips or Bonnie Blue

Naked woman paraded by jeering Hamas fighters and Celebrating crowd surround the armed men, shouting ‘Allah Akbar’

Afghan asylum seeker guilty of raping girl, 12

Misogyny

Pedophiles

Rapists

Domestic Violence

Child Abuse

Animal Abuse

Murderers

The list could go on and on and on and on and on…

There are some decent good men about but they are a rarity.

Maybe hormone differences. I had a child at 42,and didn't start menopause until well into 50's.

You can't post a title like "hate most men" and then try to argue that you're not stereotyping a whole group. Of course you are and it's not cricket. The men I know are lovely- my school and uni friends are happily married to the women they've been with for decades, my male relatives are lovely and caring, my husband is an annoying good egg, my son's make me cry with happiness and would never be as unkind and bitchy as you. What if i said i hate most women because i hate a lot of the mumsnet bitchiness and inability to accept differences? You can fuck off with your polarisation and stereotyping.

I may be wrong, but I don't think this is true. As a retired man, I have never in my life heard or read men talking with hatred about women the way I often see women in this forum talk about men. Not even as a teenager in a boarding school where everyone I met gave zero fucks about political correctness.

I'm not saying that the OP or women in general don't have legitimate beefs, just that I find it ironic that women are always banging on about mysogny, when my life experience is that hatred of the opposite sex is 1000 times more prevalent in women.

(I don't think incel forums count as a counter-example, a valid example would have to be a forum that doesn't specifically attract people for the purpose of hate.)

I'm a man in my 40's, my experience is similar to yours - I have had the misfortune to meet a couple of nasty blokes, but the vast majority are decent, hard working, good husbands/boyfriends to their wives/partners, good dads, upstanding members of the community.

I've never met any men who hate women, but I have encountered a few women who, like many on this thread have a deep seated mistrust / disliking for men.

The conclusion I have come to, is that in most cases, these people have had one, or maybe more than one bad experience with a bad guy, which of course has coloured their view.

There is a woman a few doors down who has had a succession of unpleasant, abusive partners, police called etc. but every time she enthusiastically introduces the new bloke, you get that sinking feeling - she is obviously attracted to an underclass of man who ends up being a wrong un, the old "bad boys" trope.

Most of us are just a bit dull and boring, but quite harmless!

Men have not the slightest clue what the lived experience of being a woman is. I am far from alone when I say that unwanted attention started when I was about 11 years old: cat-calling, white vans tooting as I walked along the road. Groped at the pictures, on trains, walking down the street. Exposed to in parks, and again just on the street...I didn't understand what they were doing because I was a child. Everything then just went downhill from then on.

Many men are abusive and many are rapists, see Gisele Pelicot - an ordinary town and just look at the numbers of men who were involved in that case. It's not isolated either, wasn't there a case a few weeks ago in UK, too?

Look at Literature, Look at the Bible - rampant, rampant misogyny all the way in so many cases. It is build into our culture and it's going to take a lot to dismantle.

Another demented viewpoint

Assuming cafe man was a stranger to you, OP? In which case, you know nothing about him at all. You have no idea what his daily struggles might be, or the people who love him, or the contributions he has made to society and the world. The same applies for any woman or man that you don't know.

I would urge you to take a good look at your life. Because it's really rather sad if all you have to do is hate men that you don't know - and then log on to MN and tell other strangers how much you 'hate' a stranger in a cafe - and most other men!

Do you have a local food bank you could help out with, perhaps? You ought to do something useful like all the men I know do (scout leaders and helpers, sports coaches, volunteer groups).

Hating on all men is also an ignorant and disgusting habit. Logging on to MN to tell strangers how much you hate them suggests you are very lonely indeed.

That man could have fought in wars for all you know. Have you done that, OP? Have you contributed anything to the world except misery and hatred?

There are far better uses of your time. And here's an idea that clearly hasn't occurred to you yet - there are other cafes!

I fully agree with you 100%!

I can't stand men, never could and never will. Vile creatures, a lot of whom have serious anger issues, are always shouting and being nasty and aggressive.

You are correct that this pp did not post the correct figures.

But here they are as at 2025:

https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women

Here is a snapshot if people do not want to open the link.

• Global scale of violence against women: An estimated 840 million women – almost one in three – have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both at least once in their life (30 per cent of women aged 15 and older). This figure, which does not include sexual harassment, has remained largely unchanged in the last two decades. Progress in reducing intimate partner violence has been very slow over the last two decades with only a 0.2 per cent annual decline. Women who have experienced violence are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety disorders, unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections and HIV, with long-lasting consequences.

You have obviously not spent anytime on online gaming sites. I am screamed at daily by men, that im a bitch, slut, shut the fuck up, they are going to rape me till i fucking die all because i happen to be better at a game than they are. This is daily. from teenage boys to grown men

Yes, maybe.
I never wanted kids and "the change" was in the mind, not that much in the body. I'm 46 now
and it feels like being a different person. Not much physical signs of (peri) menopause, but sure it's only a question of time. 😐

Completely agree - I'd include a very abusive ex husband too. I do like men, I have sons and nephews and male friends but I will never live with one again. There's also this:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/mar/08/i-adore-my-children-im-also-scared-that-one-day-my-son-will-kill-me

You're speaking from male privilege and unreflected misogyny. So is the other bloke. You have NOT had the lived experiences of the majority of women because nen are NOT interested in you sexually. Therefore, you have not been leered at since the age of 11 and exposed to vile comments like, you must have a pretty cunt too; or had frightening experiences such as walking to your car in a parking lot and a man coming out from between cars pulling out his penis and wanking it while staring at you; or had to fight off a 'friend' in his car, who had offered you a lift home; or were pulled over on a dark empty highway adding oil to your old car and had a guy stop and start saying how he likes young girls with blond hair and you manage to escape by pushing him down a ditch and driving off and only closing the car door when you had reached 50 miles a hour; had your partner punishing you for not wanting sex, saying things like are you stupid, are you frigid, what's wrong with you; or had your higher degree supervisor run his hand up your leg and then say, I'd better not, my wife will kill me; or having a client say he prefers working with men; or been screamed at aggressively by a bunch of guys because you didn't smile when they told you to.

These are just SOME of MY lived experiences as a woman. I have HUNDREDS more of these stories. I have very fortunately NOT been raped, but it was fucking close on several occasions. ALL of my friends have similar or worse stories and 3 out of 7 HAVE been raped. One even got pregnant and had to abort.

We are all collectively TRAUMATISED by men.

So everyone here, including the bloody NAMALT women, there are fucking good reasons for women being afraid of men and HATING what they have done and what they continue to do.

And the bloke I am replying to, you have in your hand access to the many many many stories, academic studies, and discussions about this topic. You can also readily find sites where men post photos of their sleeping wife in sexually explicit poses; or hear men discussing how you've got to treat your wife mean to get sex from her; or hear men saying that women only want 666; or hear men discussing women in vile demeaning terms. These are not a few sites occupied by a few deviants. These are thousand of sites occupied by ordinary men, raised in the patriarchy to despise women. And the so-called good guys, like you think you are - they are the worst, because they have unreflected misogyny and are so fucking ignorant of it that they add further to this massive problem.

Do better. Read, think before you decide to share your ignorance with women on one of the few sites for women.

The title says 'Most men'

Brilliant post

This is an excellent post. this is true. There was a sweet teenage boy on the radio a couple of months ago, saying that if you type 'masculinity' into a search engine it is almost invariably coupled with the word 'toxic'.

The internet pours misogynist porn at adolescent boys. Schools have rightly focused on encouraging girls to be and do anything. Buit they need to have an equal focus on boys - that it is manly to be kind or artistic or quiet. That there are many ways to be an excellent man. That masculinity often comes with a strength they can and should be proud of harnessing for good. That emotional connection is enriching to their lives, day by day and over the years - that relationships are about more than sex. That courtesy is cool.