To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

I did vote YANBU but I think you are being a bit unreasonable for even entertaining the idea that you have to take him to and from work every single day.

He has found a way to get himself home though, OP!

DH needs to learn to be an adult and sort his own shit out without you imho

he is utterly pathetic.

He needs to put on cycling style shorts to stop the chub-rub before he leaves.

He can get a bike (30 minutes walk is 10 minutes biking) which would also help his weight and fitness.

Find out what everyone else does. I thought you were going to say it was over an hour's walk or something.

And tell him: you are ok getting him twice a week. The other days he makes his own way back. And you drink whenever you want. And if he whines - just ask him what his solution is. Over and over and over.

I think he needs a bike!

How far is his work from where you live? How do other people manage? They can't all have OHs who are willing to provide a taxi service.

The whole thing smells a bit fishy to me. I live near a city with business parks all over the place and while public transport is infrequent and means a 15-minute walk, it IS possible. If he were getting a bus or local train, how far would he have to walk?

Sorry, have just read your update. HALF AN HOUR'S WALK? The exercise will do him good, and if it rains he can wear a waterproof.

A 30-minute walk to work is a dream commute! I can’t believe you’re driving him. What would his reaction be if you said you’re going to stop giving lifts on, say, a Friday so that you can socialise with colleagues and have a drink? Why can’t he ride a bike (even an e-bike) or a scooter? Honestly half an hour is nothing, I used to walk that to the train station and then walk another half hour the other side of the train to work – great for fitness and mental health!

I would do this for my husband but not at the expense of an evening out with friends.

It’s really odd the company haven’t sourced parking for their staff even if it meant the staff footing the bill themselves If it’s on a business park could your husband not enquire about getting a permit to park at another companies premises

Seriously why are you doing this?

Why can’t he cycle or get a taxi sometimes?

What would he do if he didn’t have you to take him and pick him up from work? Would he just not go or would he find an alternative way?

Half an hour! That's nothing!

Yanbu, I collect my son same time Monday to Friday. It sucks!!!!!

Uh-huh. So not overweight but can't walk a mile and a bit because his thighs rub together. Rugby players cover considerably more than a mile in a game so I'm not convinced with that excuse. He sounds pathetic and tbh you are a bit too for enabling this nonsense.

Wow that’s nothing. Surely he can walk sometimes or bike!

He can just wear some cycling shorts to prevent rubbing

I don't understand how people can't see the obvious here.

It has nothing to do with being lazy, being fat, having chubby thighs, feeling hot etc.

It is purely a mechanism to tie OP to the house at all times. Am I the only one to see this?

Not just you. Many posters can see it, and have said so. It's about control.

I'm surprised it's only the drinking that bothers you. 9.00 every evening for years? What if you were invited out for an evening, or wanted to take up a hobby, or were ill? I think it's great to pick him up occasionally eg rain, but it shouldn't be an expectation that you always do and he never walks.

Does he work very long hours that you start the same time but he doesn't finish until 9, or do you start unusually late?

Hoping OP comes back (after she's collected the DH) to tell us how the conversation went when he got this job and he told her about how he was going to get there and back.

Or if there was only an assumption on his part.

Either way, OP. Just tell him. There will be days - that you can't predict in advance - when you will not be in the mood to collect him and that he needs a robust Plan B. And C. And D

Although actually, I would,band do, happily have a drink after 9.00, especially on a Friday, so it doesn't jeab you can never drink. But I still think he's taking you for granted

made of meringue LOL :D i need the laughing emoji!

"he hates walking because it makes him hot and sweaty and he gets a leg rash..."

What...?! 😂 The irony... If he walked more, he probably wouldn't get so hot and sweaty and have leg rashes (evidence of circulation perhaps)... Sorry 😐 @stripeyrain

Bus? He's already doing well getting a lift from you every morning, he should be able to get himself home a couple of miles in the evening

Buy him some talcum powder or some cycling style shorts and tell him to man up.