To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

But why can't he cycle then? Your arrangement sounds bizarre. If you weren't around, what would he do? And if he doesn't want to cycle a normal bike, he needs to buy an electric bike or scooter. Completely relying on your partner to collect you would never work for me. I can't bèlieve you've done it for so long. He's a grown man and needs to sort himself out.

i think you’re very kind I would never pick DH up every bloody day if a 45 min walk away and neither would I expect to be collected. We both cycle to work that distance daily it would be easy!

@stripeyrain i agree on the e bike idea .
I’d also say 1 night a week a taxi.
I would help out more untill the better weather . However he can dress appropriately.

why is everyone so averse to bikes, its not 15 miles its a 10 minute cycle.

an extra drive everyday for 6 years is ridiculous, cant believe you've entertained it for this long.

I agree

Talk about missing the point.

He must be able to walk to a bus.

I'd offer him a lift if it was raining or terrible weather, but not every day. I think you've put yourself in this situation by being too nice. Not trying to be horrible OP, my point being, if you aren't happy with the arrangement, you can change it. If you want to have a glass of wine or go out after work then do it, and ask him to sort himself out.

Buy him some chub rub.

Sorry but a 30 min walk is not far, I do it everyday to work as parking is expensive. My DH has a similar build and gets chafed thighs if he isn’t prepared…. He cycles or runs and wears cycling shorts under baggier shorts, problem solved.
Sorry but I’d be saying it had to walk home on a Friday if not more, walking home in the rain is fine as you just get changed when you get in.
If my 12 year old can cycle to secondary school twice a day 20 mins each way, a grown man should be more than capable.

Goldilocks 😂

it’s one of those situations where you have been doing a massive favour for someone for so long that it becomes expected, then when you stop doing it they get upset and blame you for their situation. No good deed goes unpunished.

This is weird OP , there is no way I would expect this from my DH or him from me apart from occasionally in very bad weather. Particularly as it's so close by!
You need to point out to him that most grown adults get themselves to work and let him work it out for himself , with maybe an offer to pick up once or twice a week.

He needs to grow up a bit. You can't always be picked up and ferried around because you don't like walking. Is there nowhere en route to park so he could drive most of the way then walk? No buses? No taxis?

Oh give over. She's hardly "craving alcohol" if she's let this situation go on for 6 years! she's just saying she would like the option to have the occasional glass of wine which is entirely reasonable.

I couldnt be dealing with this OP. I would run around after him in awful weather. No other time. I could not go out every night at 9pm , it would put me in a foul mood ! You are a better person than me!

I've a mental image of OP's DH being carried to work like this 😂

A 30 minute walk is nowt, and would be good for him. I’d stop driving him altogether except as an occasional favour in extreme weather. And he could be as grumpy as he liked about it.

My DH has a 20 minute walk just to the train station, btw, and whenever I’ve offered to drop him off or pick him up because it’s peeing down, he’s refused because he doesn’t want to inconvenience me.

Sorry, image attaching fail

Op mentioned a park, he could cycle through that?

Agree. Do no women work there? It's unreasonable to expect anyone to have to leave work at 9pm and not provide somewhere for them to park close by.

Where do other workers park? They can't all be getting lifts from begrudging other halfs.

So then isn’t the issue “my lazy husband won’t walk home from work” vs “I can’t have a drink after work”?

He's not lazy, he's controlling her life in order to keep her away from life's little pleasures.

Many women who are being controlled don't realise for a long time, and then are afraid to upset the apple cart. Which is the plan.

He wont walk, he wont walk in the dark, he wont walk in summer, i mean who doesnt love walking, he doesnt need to drive if its only half hour walk, just tell him to buy some chub rub shorts and a rain mac , does he not exercise or go to the gym? What does he do with.his sweaty thighs then, .....you need to find your voice and just say no, youre not his mother tho you sound like it not wanting little johny to walk through the park in the dark,

Not having that there’s no where to park and everyone gets picked up at 9.
i wouldn’t do it not when I’ve worked all day, he’d have to figure something else out I’m afraid, why should you have to give up your evenings to go do that ?