To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Get him some cycling shorts to stop his thighs rubbing together. My DH walks an hour each way to work every day, in rain or shine. The only reason I can think for you not to ask him to make his own way home occasionally is if you are afraid of him because he is controlling over all?

If you want to go out with colleagues, surely you just text him and he gets a cab?? He’s being precious about walking: I walk 30 mins each way to work through choice as it’s good for me and eco-friendly! A good compromise would be a lift to work so he’s not hot and bothered or wet on arrival, then he makes his own way home. If it’s raining in the morning I sometimes hop in for a lift with my husband or neighbour; I don’t care about getting wet on the way home.

Rugby players do a lot of running, which is more likely to chafe than a light stroll on a warm evening. He's lazy, and fat, and you're enabling him. Just have a drink after work and tell him you can't pick him up, and see what he does.

This. ^

@stripeyrain Can you answer the question that many posters have asked 'what do all the other employees do?' Like how does everyone else get to and from work?

Not as unattractive as using 'adult' as a verb.

Agree. Addictive once ridden!

Sounds like the walk would do him good once in a while.

Also, a bike or e-bike is a great investment.

Having to go out for 9pm every night is a pain!

Am I reading this right? You've been picking him up from work at 9pm every evening for 6 years??
So you haven't been able to make any plans on a week night for 6 years? You can't go out for dinner or to the cinema with a mate, can't have a glass of wine with colleagues after work on a Friday, you can't even have an early night if you feel like it. I'm often in bed with a book by 9pm!
And to top it all off he actually has you thinking that this arrangement "makes more sense" than him driving himself to work, car-sharing, cycling or walking??

Absolute bollocks to that. He's taken you for a complete mug, OP.

I find it very hard to believe that there is nowhere to park anywhere near his workplace. Sure he might have to walk for 5-10 minutes to and from his car, but so what? That's life.

Aw bless him, he doesn't like walking in the summer because he gets sweaty and his legs rub together? No problem, he needs to get some talc and a pair of chub rub shorts. Sorted. Oh but he also doesn't like walking when it's cold and wet? Boo-fucking-hoo. Has he heard of layers? Or a waterproof coat and an umbrella? If the weather's that bad he can get an Uber once in a while.

Catch yourself on, OP. He's taking the absolute piss. You need to put your foot down and stop this nonsense.

Why are you putting up with this nonsense? Put your foot down and say you're not doing it.

Half an hour's walk is nothing. As PP said schoolchildren do this every day of the week.

He sounds pathetic.

so some colleagues walk, what do to the rest do?

can he not cycle through the park? its a bit much to do every single day. in winter fine (not really) but year rounds is a bit much.

Its not just about having a drink, it's going back out every single evening. Get him to agree to walk or 2/3 out of 5. thats a fair compromise.

Well, if you want to pander to this litany of excuses by having a teetotal restricted social life, then it’s up to you.

Op in 6 years how many times have you not picked him up? Or not taken him?

He gets a rash from walking? Wtf?
A half hour walk is absolutely fuck all. He's lazy. You're enabling.
You say he'd "not be best pleased" about walking or making his own way. But have you actually talked to him about it? What does he say? Does he want you to be available every single evening with no down time, or does he want you to enjoy yourself now and again too, like a normal partner would?
Genuinely no reason he can't cycle, walk, taxi or bus. You're both ridiculous.

Well in the summer when you want to sit out in the garden you won’t feel guilty at him walking home in the dark and cold will you

The irony being that if he walked regularly, then he’d have a lot less chub to rub.

You've nailed it there. He doesn't want OP to have friends or a social life without him, or to relax when he's not there either.

Isn't that one of the lines in the abuse Script - isolate them.

its a thirty minute walk, its hardly a marathon. he doesn't need to be hot and sweaty he can go at a leisurely pace and listen to a book.

a nice water proof jacket and bag are fine in the rain too.

Be grateful to him, Op, alcohol is bad. Can’t you just be happy with a nice soft drink instead? Craving alcohol is a slippery slope into alcoholism….

I’m sure he could cycle to and from work.

YANBU. He is being unreasonable expecting you to drop him off and collect him every work day. A half hour walk is nothing, fair enough maybe not through a park at 9 at night but in the summer it's perfectly doable. It's not unreasonable to tell him this isn't working for you and ultimately the solution is on him to find, not you. You don't need to baby him by buying him shorts or coming up with ideas, he's a grown man.

🙄🤣
Yes op - be grateful that your selfish unfit partner doesn’t allow you a glass of wine a week, or to snuggle up in bed with a book, or to see friends or to do whatever you want to do when you have finished work because he is unable to walk for a few minutes!

He could get a bike and get himself home from work.

Why can’t you socialise or sit in the sun with a non-alcoholic drink? What will alcohol add to the situation?

You are enabling this situation