To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

He sounds like a lazy bastard. I used to walk 45 mins to work, my OH cycles 12k to work. Sure he can manage it once a week.

Where do you live that a BIKE is considered outre? The 1830s?

A 30 minute walk is about 7 minutes on a bike!

I don’t know the laws in the UK (Canadian!) but why can’t you just have one drink and then drive? If you had one drink between 5-9pm you wouldn’t be intoxicated. Unless you guys have a zero limit or something.

Tell him to piss off! What was his plan when he took the job, that you'd just be de facto taxi service regardless of your own life? Fuck that. He was grown up enough to get the job, presumably he's grown up enough to get himself from A to B.

My DP gets a train to work, the train station is about a half hour walk or a pretty unreliable bus. I drop him off/pick him up when I'm feeling generous or it's pissing down or I don't have anything else on, but no way would I be planning my life around it.

The fact that you'd like to have a drink is neither here nor there- you shouldn't have all your evenings on hold for him, regardless of what else you'd like to be doing. He's taking the piss.

This would wind me up no end. Just tell
him you are fed up and you both need to find a new compromise or he needs to find a new job.

Of course you can. You're entitled to your downtime, just tell him that you can't pick him up on <day> and he can sort himself out. He's a grown man, he won't die if he has to get a cab or walk or whatever.

Not really the point though is it. If I got in from work and poured a glass of wine whilst making the tea, even if it's out of my system 3 hours later, the last thing I'd want to be doing is getting ready to go back out again and pick up my lazy arse husband who - by the time I've got ready, got in the car and arrived at his work - could have walked halfway home.

He needs to start walking or cycling anyway. Much healthier and it’ll save you money on petrol anyway. What’s wrong with a 30 min walk in the drizzle if you’ve got a good coat?

But what does everyone else do? Have I missed that bit? If most people don’t park what is the option? And why can’t he do that?

I don't even drink and going out to pick someone up every night would irritate me. He needs to petition his employer for some sort of parking or rota, or work out public transport or an Uber. So can you never go out in the evening cos you're the taxi service?!

Is it the sort of park that you can't bike through?

You don't "have" to pick him up. You're choosing to pick him up.

Make a different choice and deal with the fallout.

Don't many secondary school pupils walk or cycle that distance?

A 30 min walk a day would get those fat thighs down in no time.

😆

Millions do! Swathes of them are walking past my office window as we speak - all in the pissing down rain too.

He either walks or gets a taxi sometimes
Not the end of the world!

Sounds like a whole heap of excuses to me. 30mins is not a long walk, it’s rarely still hot at 9pm (apart from a few evenings a year).

Does he do a physical job, on his feet all day?

He is lazy, unfit and entitled. Time for him to sort his own transport out.

Based on the update, I don't think you should be picking him up any day! How pathetic to demand lifts to and from work every single day because he 'doesn't like to walk' a mere 30 minutes. And complaining about the weather - my child walked 30 minutes to school in -30 degree weather the other week, and yet this grown man can't walk in a bit of rain? (proper hot +28 or more summer weather I understand, but it won't be that hot at 9pm)

If you want to go out just give him notice at 5pm that he will need to get a taxi that day. Warn him in advance that you are going to start doing this a few times a month so he definitely takes his wallet with him.

I think it’s a control tactic

Why doesn’t he cycle through the park? Or even scoot?

Sounds as though DH needs to get acquainted with the idea of a taxi every so often.