To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

If there really is no public transport and walking isn't an option is there nowhere he can park within 20 minutes walk of his workplace? Even if he comes out of work and walks away from home, to the nearest available parking, then drives from there. Does your family have two cars?

Never mind the drink (which I would resent tbf) do you not have a right to a social life??? He "wouldn't be pleased" if you were doing something for yourself? And he won't walk for half an hour?

It's seems weird for him to expect to be picked up. I managed to get home from work off my own steam since I was a teenager so why can't he?

If it's walking distance then he walks, cycles, roller skates, choose to use a taxi or whatever public transport might at least get him some of the way home.

It could be you could agree to occasionally give a lift. But why not just say, I'm sorry I can't darling as I've had a couple of drinks. And keep saying it.

OP, I think you're being unreasonable for agreeing to get married to the gingerbread man!

No way would I miss my Friday evening wine time to drag myself off the sofa and be a taxi service for my husband!! Don't even discuss it. I would simply announce that after a hard week you need to look forwards to collapsing on the sofa with a large glass of wine without worrying about having to get up and get him. Ask he looks into alternative arrangements or look again at the parking situation, most offices are dead on a Friday so surely there would be a space for him.

Was it a lot safer in the 70s? Really?

Him finding his own way home on a Friday evening is not a big ask.

A 30min walk to work sounds amazing!!

I don't think it's reasonable for one adult to facilitate their work pattern by another adult picking them up at 9pm every single working day. I don't drink often but I like to settle down, go to gym, go out with friends etc so how do you manage all that, you are tied up when he is working? How does everyone else at his work manage? Everyone can't be being lifted and laid by other people? How does he get there at the start as presumably you are working

This isn’t her problem… the partner needs to find his own way home sometimes!

I wouldn't be going out to collect my dp 5 nights a week at 9pm. He's an adult and I actually think it's selfish of him to put this expectation on you. Tell him from now on you are having Fridays off driving duty. How he gets home is his problem to solve.

No public transport?

A 30 min walk is probably about 2 miles max … few quid in a cab…what’s his problem with that?
do you have kids? Do you take them with you?

👍👍👍 4 nights a week - AND dropping him to work is more than enough!!!

I think 1-2 nights max is more than enough and when lighter- he should start walking the while time/cycling/get uber few nights a week and you do 1 pick up max. Him getting sweaty/ a leg rash is just not enough of a reason not to walk. He likely gets a rash walking as he is so unused to walking anywhere as has a wife acting as his taxi service!!

He needs to find a solution to this because it’s not really about whether or not you can have a glass of wine (although I agree it’s nice to have the option) but about him getting far too used to you being a taxi service at the expense of anything you might like to do in the evening beyond collecting him.

If there genuinely aren’t any public transport options then there’s no reason why he can’t get a bike. So many people bike to/from work. You could offer to collect him twice a week maybe, but he absolutely needs to sort himself out on the other nights.

He needs to grow up.

Can’t walk to work because he gets a sweaty rash? Good grief. He needs to suck it up or get a bike (see if his work offers a cycle to work scheme)

Get him an electric bike or a moped for his birthday. 🤪

Or why don't you continue to kindly drop him off at work in the morning and then he can walk home after work, then his sweaty excuse doesn't matter as he's heading home anyway and can shower and the chub rub shorts solution others have mentioned solve the thigh chafe problem. And a good waterproof coat solves the weather problem... I walk the dog for 30-60 minutes every single day depending on how much time I have come rain or shine!

He sounds lazy to be honest and unfit. He could easily walk half an hour just dress up for the weather. The rash thing sounds like it is due to weight.

If he does not want to walk can he park someone near his workplace and just walk from there

Or is this a form of control and a way of stopping you going out with friends when he is not there?

Tell him to buy a bike, or work harder and get a mgmt parking space.

I really don't understand why he starts the same time as you but doesn't finish until 9pm. Daily? So he does a 12 hour shift - is he medical / work in a large hospital where he can park but has to pay the extortionate fees for day parking that patients have to pay? It's a common complaint with people I know who work in the local hospital. They use buses, or cycle. Some car share and pay the long stay fees.

I've got an adults scooter he can have. I keep meaning to stick it on Facebook marketplace.

I was YABU because there are so many nice non-alcoholic drinks i do think it's unhealthy to moan that you can't have alcohol specifically, but since the comment about him being unwilling to walk half an hour through a park...

I'm morbidly obese. My thighs most definitely rub, but I can walk half an hour home without getting chub rub. He either needs better trousers or to slap something like this on before his walk. Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel 28g | Health | Superdrug. He is BVU to never walk home, and he's almost certainly not getting his 10,000 steps in, so it'll do him good to figure it out.

Tell him that the arrangement isnt working for you anymore. In march you will be stopping in march for 6 years break.

So five days a week he works from early (going to assume 9am) as you take him in, and then finishes at 9? I would assume it’s well paid and he could certainly afford taxis.

Also that would drive me mad - never being able to just enjoy a quiet evening, or go to the cinema or see friends.

Moped is an option - often much easier to park and as it’s only a short ride it would be convenient.