To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

If this was a man complaining everyone would be saying YABU to expect your OH to walk in a dark area potentially for 10/15 minutes late at night, or to expect them to get public transport/an Uber home every night so you can go and get pissed. I don't see why it's any different just because it's a man that needs picking up!

I was wondering this also-how the situation came about.

I wonder how you've put up with it for so long!

If you have a similar start time what on earth hours is he working?

I mean having an alcoholic drink wouldn't bother me, but never being able to get in at 5 & say "that's it!".

Always turning out again 4hrs later?

And he's only half an hour's walk away??!!

edit: Quote did not work.

What planet are you living on?! Do you not think any of us women have ever walked anywhere in the dark?! What do you think we do in the winter when it's dark at 7.30am AND at 4pm!

Most women I work with walk to and from the train station every day, both in the city centre we work in AND at the other end once they get to their home village / town. None of us ever ask our partners to pick us up!!!

I don't see why it's any different just because it's a man that needs picking up!

He doesn't "need" picking up at all.

He has all bases covered then! What's his excuse for not getting an uber for that short distance?

Stranger danger 🙅

Wow I know how frustrating it is having dc who need lifts. No way would I be pandering to an adult.
Surprised the poor lamb can manage a full time job him being so fragile..
It absolutely is an Ick inducing factor in a relationship imo.

I hear you. I’m in the same boat.

Is it really about not being able to have a drink or the fact you cannot get in from work put your pj's on and relax. ? You seem to be doing a lot of running round after him, the lifts to and from work, the cooking and other household chores, what does he do ?
This has impacted your life for way to long, tell him to get a bike or change his job.

YANBU to be annoyed OP.

He should be exceedingly grateful that you’re picking him up at all, and should make it easy for you to have a few nights off from doing it without making a big fuss.

What days of the year does it immediately go from being too cold and wet to too hot and vice versa for the poor lamb? Plus too hot in summer? At 9pm? He's taking the absolute puss.

Once a week?
Or even once every two weeks?
What about if it was to go to the cinema/visit their mum rather than go for a drink?

A 30-minute walk is a dream commute. He must be very unfit! Him being so lazy would kill my attraction off very quickly

I think you're missing the point.

It's the lack of consideration for her needs that's unattractive.

A 30 minute walk once a day is absolutely fine for an adult. I’d be telling him I’ll only pick him up when it’s actually raining or on those summer nights when it’s hot at 9pm 🧐.
For me it wouldn’t be about the drinking but that I get home and do the chores and cooking while he can’t even walk through a park on his own

Get a grip for goodness sake. Most of us will have had experience of making considerably more effort to get to work and back than OP's husband ever has. I used to cycle 3 miles to work and back whatever the weather, working 12 hour shifts, often 6 days a week and didn't rely on then boyfriend to chauffeur me.

At another time I used to cycle 2 miles to the train station at about 5.30am, catch the train and then run about half a mile to catch the bus in time. Sometimes it was so cold my eyelashes froze together. On the return journey I'd have to wait on an dimly lit train platform in the middle of nowhere at 10 pm. I still didn't think I was entitled to a chauffeur.

I lived to tell the tale.

I'd have serious ick for a man who couldn't get himself a job ,that he could get to and from himself

Ffs…

He wouldn’t walk in the summer because he hates walking because it makes him hot and sweaty and he gets a leg rash from walking which would last days.

Oh dear, the poor baby! 🙄
Does he work out? go to the gym? A nice 30 min walk in the summer would be good exercise for him.

I don't even drink alcohol but this would drive me mad.
Being responsible for getting someone to and from work is a huge faff. What if you wanted to have a bath and get your pyjamas on early, or have an early night, or go to the cinema?
Is this 5 days a week?

Oh this old chestnut:
a) this assumes men and women are equally at risk per journey
b) multiple women on this thread have described walking that distance and further of an evening (as have I, regularly) without whinging that we get "chaffy leg”.

c) my children walked at least this far, often after dark in the Winter. No reason why a grown arse man cannot.
d) in reality the responses would be more likely to say “why can’t she cycle/taxi” just as in this thread

Can he not cycle to work? It would help his thighs too.

Do not accept the thigh chafing as an excuse, this is why anti-chafe shorts for men were invented!

Finding it hard to believe he works at a purpose built business location but can't drive to work...
Edit: just read that he's a 30 minute walk from home! Omg, why aren't you, all his colleagues and everyone he knows laughing in his face! Get the lazy fuck to walk and maybe his thighs won't chafe so much.

I don't think it's unreasonable for you to go and pick him up. It would seem a bit off if he had to walk just so you could have an early drink while home alone, especially when you both start work at the same time but he finishes a few hours later. You could be home and in your PJs with a glass of wine by 9:15 by the sound of it. You still have the weekends for early drinking.

My mum worked evenings when I was little and my dad used to get me in my PJs and we would go and pick her up at 9pm. It was a lot safer in the 1970s and maybe less than a 20 minute walk but he would always go and get her.

For occasional nights in/out with friends involving alcohol your DH could make the exception and get an uber, a lift or walk.

Even harder to believe that every single day it's either too cold and wet or too hot for Goldilocks to walk home!