To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

If you want to go out after work, go out, he will have to get a taxi. To be fair he sounds a lazy sod. 30 minutes walk is not that far.
If he gets a rash on his legs just walking he needs to see the GP for some cream.
I am afraid you are enabling him. I would not do it.

He sounds an utter drip.
tell him to get a taxi. Who cares whether he’s “pleased” or not - you’re not “pleased” being his bloody chauffeur!

It's a half hour walk! Fuxake, I did more than that every evening and morning when I worked in London!

Just tell him he'll have to sort himself on Fridays. It least that gives you one day per week off.
Do you never see friends or do anything in the evening? What does he do then?

Being unable to walk 30 minutes is unimpressive. Unless you live in a super dodgy area, let him sort himself out, it would do him good. You can generously offer a lift on the odd occasion when there's bad weather.

“He wouldn’t be pleased at all”

Does he dominate your home in other ways OP?

I have to say if this was my DH he would have absolutely no issue getting himself home once or twice a week so I could relax. In fact, he’d probably suggest it himself.

It doesn't sound as if you have children and I don't think it would be wise to have any with this man. If you feel unable to stand up to him over this because he wouldn't be very happy then I can't imagine he'd be very useful if you had children and you'd be left shouldering the burden of all of it to avoid upsetting the lazy, manchild.

My 4 year old walks over 30 minutes twice a day to school, surely your husband can walk- that’s just ridiculous

Half an hour walk away?! Walking should be his default with you picking him up occasionally because it’s pouring with rain or something. Leg rash indeed! Get a grip

This is madness. He just needs some good long underwear and a decent podcast to listen to. Maybe after walking for a couple months he wouldn’t have such chafing issues either.

It’s crazy to me that this isn’t approached the other way, whereby it’s standard to walk and a nice treat to get a lift.

He should get himself an anti chafe stick and walk home.

Sorry OP but you've made a rod for your own back. This is ridiculous.

Is he in a physical job? If not he could do with the exercise. Walk or cycle. He needs to go to the DR about the rash if it's bad enough to stop him exercising.

I am not mad about cycling so I walk two miles to work and back in all weathers, that's 4 miles and it's up a massive hill, and thousands do the same. 30 min walk is probably 1.5 miles. Easily doable.

How convenient that he can never walk home! Everyone gets hot and sweaty in summer you just wear different clothes and/or use deodorant anti perspirant.

You don’t ‘have to’ pick him up, at all. He could sort his parking, alternative transport or change jobs.

How often is it so hot at 9pm that you'll get unbearably sweaty anyway?! The temperature has usually dropped by then.

Half an hour walk through a park!!?? Jesus I thought you were going to say it was a 3 hour walk over mountains and across stormy waters. Fucking hell, what a precious little flower he is. Hot, sweaty and gets a rash? So Mummy picks him up everyday?

Jesus - I couldn’t cope with this.

I would say ‘Right new rules, April 1st - November 1st you walk home from work. Winter I’ll pick you up as normal.’

YABU for your choices over this so far!

I had a similar job as a teen, often felt unsafe getting to and from work on foot from the nearest public transport. Put up with it then got a new job.

My 4yr old also had to walk 30mins to and from school in all weathers as did I 6 months pregnant.

Isn’t your dp worried or embarrassed that he can’t walk even 30 minutes? Has he had his 40yr check up? I would genuinely be worried about anybody who couldn’t walk that far (genuine reasons aside) and would recommend he sees his Dr - in fact text that to him whilst you are all cosy at home with a glass of wine in your hand. 🍷

Stop pandering to this nonsense!! Youre presumably wanting the odd night off driving him home, not every night, so he can get a taxi or public transport or... heaven forbid...Walk home like the grown up he is. 30 minute walk is nothing. Heck, he could even park halfway and it would only be a 14 minute walk!!
Just tell him you can't pick him up this Friday because you're having a drink..or is there more to this because he will get aggressive if you say this? There haa to be more to this post than your husband having to walk 30 minutes...

I think it is absolutely ridiculous that you are doing this. There is no way I would ever do it for my DH unless he had a broken leg or it was a one off for really terrible weather. He needs to get a bike or walk. He should be embarrassed to even ask you to do this. Most people grow out of this level of dependency at secondary school.

I would encourage him to get a bike and to get one of those bike racks that you can attach to the car and continue to drive him and his bike to work in the morning and let him bike home. A 30 minute walk should be a 10 minute bike ride.

Me too. When i left home I moved into the middle of nowhere and had to walk 40 minutes to get a bus to the town I worked in. In the evening, all year round, in reverse in the evening. I had a dog and we were both fit af.

He could bike it in ten minutes if it's a 30 minute walk.

I think someone else also picked up the hours? Is he really doing like a 12 hour day? Or just faffing about at work to avoid home life?

I walked more than 30 minutes twice a day to work when I was heavily pregnant. I used to stop and have a little vomit in a bush! Yet still at no point did I expect another adult to take me and pick me up!!

If he really cant come up with a solution to get home that doesnt involve you then he needs to look for a new job

Yanbu @stripeyrain I used to walk to and from home to get to my bus before the half an hour journey to get to work. It was annoying, but I was a teen so everything was back then 😉
I think there needs to be a compromise and you need to have at least a few nights a week where when you get home you can relax properly. If his legs rub, then he can get some cycling shorts and they will stop that from happening.
Its not like you want to drink every night, but I do agree that sundowner g&t, chilled white wine, or whatever your tipple in the garden at the end of a lovely summers day is just bliss 😊