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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you say this is wrong of care company

138 replies

Meandmrmen · 08/02/2026 22:20

Support worker and service user had an argument due to a comment made by the support worker. The service users door had been broken by police due to a possible welfare concern. This had the not been fixed for a few days and the support worker said maybe it was because the hotel were “tried of it it. Which then in turn caused an argument. The support worker then choose not to tie up for the shift the next day. The service users lost money due to having things booked and having to pay for transport to a supermarket meanwhile despite being the instigator the support worker got full pay.

OP posts:
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 16:04

TalulahJP · 09/02/2026 12:23

you seem to think you have the rights to this particular support worker who should only be paid for when shes working.

the truth is that the government is paying the care company for SOMEONE not just her to provide care. The company can decide who to send and should have sent someone else when that particular person phoned in sick.

that is what you need to ask, why was a replacement not sent. it could be there was a good reason like half the staff are down with the flu and nobody else was available sorry kind of thing. which at this time of year is understandable.

my mums carers are frequently late as they have to sometimes do extra thats unexpected eg help an elderly person who has a tummy upset and messed themselves and need washed and changed, or has fallen and likely broken a hip and cannot be left until the ambulance arrives. So it’s annoying but no precise time can be given. 15 minutes late isn’t bad.

are you off your meds because you seem very angry.

my ex was bipolar on meds and turned into a right nasty bastard when he was off them. if you cant stay on your meds you may also be like that. you wont feel it yourself but those who love (or even like) you will soon turn away from you if you are nasty to them. just take the meds. if you domt like them ask your gp for alternatives til you find the ones that work for you.

nobody should like their life upset or angry, bitter or full of hatred. we all deserve better.
if your life is shite make changes. we all can. some more than others if they have access to funds for spa days or relaxing massages or whatever one dreams of! but we can all make small changes.

the fact you had money to book tickets to something snd could afford a taxi are luxuries not all can afford.

you sound entitled and not very nice tbh. people wont eant to do you any favours if you’re horrible. you reap what you sow.

you cannot go on buses, why not? find a coping strategy and get on with it. it’s amazing what we can achieve if we just push a little out of our comfort zone. i’d start by having the carer sit behind me so i felt alone but shes still there is i need her. then maybe upstairs so shes further away but still there. then maybe not in the bus at all but meeting me at the stop i get off at. or whatever.

you can change if you want to. start trying. you only have one life so make the best of what youve got.

oh and stop phoning ambulances as people are dying while you are having a chinwag to the nice paramedics. they are not there to chat. which brings us back to the old lady with the broken hip holding up her carer who is now late for her next client. see how it affected you well your actions affect others. it’s all linked.

get back on your meds. domt give up. improve your life. be happy. you can do this. if you try. keep the faith.

One I don’t phone ambulances to have a chinwag as stated, two no I don’t think I have right to this support workers fault quite frankly I didn’t like the woman I wanted her off the rota but Jo one to replace her so I tolerated her…. She also feel asleep in my house then lied about it when she can he clearly seen snoring on the video maybe don’t judge people for something you don’t know the full story

OP posts:
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 16:05

SleeplessInWherever · 09/02/2026 16:01

It’s 15mins, is it really worth this?

If the 2hrs before weren’t an issue for you, quibbling over a few minutes doesn’t seem worthwhile.

Are you sure that because there’s been a breakdown in the relationship and you evidently don’t like her, things that you’d be able to let go from someone else you can’t for her?

Yes I don’t like her absolutely correct.

OP posts:
SleeplessInWherever · 09/02/2026 16:06

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 16:05

Yes I don’t like her absolutely correct.

Okay.

If it’s going to shape your ability to receive care from her, and ability to tolerate her presence, you need a new member of staff.

It would be for the best if she didn’t come back, so neither of you have to be in a situation that is obviously uncomfortable.

LIZS · 09/02/2026 16:24

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 15:59

Seems people aren’t reading I had a six hour shift with this woman I pushed it back two hours she was still pad to sit at home she then had the audacity to give herself and extra 15 minutes pay and not turn up nor say sorry.

You are assuming she was still paid for the two hours, she might not have if she is paid to a timesheet. Did you reduce that visit to four or expect her to do the full six anyway? Was it communicated via the agency?

Either way it is clear you are not compatible and the relationship has broken down, ask for someone different or swap agency. You may find it is different ones each visit though.

SleeplessInWherever · 09/02/2026 16:29

LIZS · 09/02/2026 16:24

You are assuming she was still paid for the two hours, she might not have if she is paid to a timesheet. Did you reduce that visit to four or expect her to do the full six anyway? Was it communicated via the agency?

Either way it is clear you are not compatible and the relationship has broken down, ask for someone different or swap agency. You may find it is different ones each visit though.

I manage an agency, and none of my clients would be paying for those 2hrs.

The LA would reject that timesheet in an instant and process it for 4hrs.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 09/02/2026 22:52

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:36

comp missing the point she was paid for the two hours so yes she should really come when she asked to. If your boss said you can have two hours paid at home and you still came 15 minutes late do you think they would be happy?

But you aren’t her boss @Meandmrmen .

I note you didn’t respond to my early comments on the thread but it’s clear you are very difficult to work with and quite unreasonable in your attitude. I think the support worker ont be back as hopefully her next client will be more willing to engage reasonably.

ScaryM0nster · 10/02/2026 06:50

I suggest asking for a meeting with the care service manager to go through expectations on behaviour and communication from both you and support workers, support hours arrangements and what that covers.

Carrying stuff for you is unlikely to be in your care plan if the support is for mental rather than physical health issues.

Meandmrmen · 10/02/2026 07:49

ScaryM0nster · 10/02/2026 06:50

I suggest asking for a meeting with the care service manager to go through expectations on behaviour and communication from both you and support workers, support hours arrangements and what that covers.

Carrying stuff for you is unlikely to be in your care plan if the support is for mental rather than physical health issues.

Well it’s what a decent person woulddo

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 10/02/2026 09:32

Meandmrmen · 10/02/2026 07:49

Well it’s what a decent person woulddo

Says who? You?

It's not up to her to carry your shopping and I would say this entitled issue is your problem.

IwishIcouldconfess · 10/02/2026 12:21

Meandmrmen · 10/02/2026 07:49

Well it’s what a decent person woulddo

They are not your hand maiden!

Seelybe · 10/02/2026 13:43

@Meandmrmen there's clearly much more to the background here but whatever the reason you are a difficult person who seems to be rubbing everyone up the wrong way.
Whatever that background you are being housed, getting a significant amount of support and have enough cash to do more than get by day to day. I doubt you've ever contributed much to the considerable public money that's taking.
Maybe do some learning from the responses here and at least try to make an effort to be more pleasant and appreciate just how much worse off you'd be without the generosity of the welfare state.

Sparklybutold · 10/02/2026 20:53

Sadly you sound like someone who would fall out with themselves in a phone box, and then blame someone for it.

NoSoupForU · 10/02/2026 21:17

After reading the thread I really hope she was paid for her sick day.

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