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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Painter Stole Key

128 replies

roibustea · 08/02/2026 10:38

I just had an empty property painted and gave the painter a spare key. The painter completed the job and it looks lovely, but he took the key when he went. He said he'd drop it back today or tomorrow first thing, which I said is fine. But he's text this morning to ask whether I've paid. I am not inclined to pay until I get my key back, as once I've paid he has no motivation to return it, and I do need it to give to other people coming next week. And I obviously also don't really want this man to have full access to my house! Is it normal for tradespeople to hold keys hostage until you've paid? This seems really dodgy to me, is he planning to go into my house and do something if I don't pay?! Am I unreasonable to text back telling him I'll pay when I get my key?

OP posts:
BerryTwister · 08/02/2026 18:17

Allseeingallknowing · 08/02/2026 16:08

Why should OP have the expense of changing the locks?

@Allseeingallknowing she shouldn’t, but she’s paid him now so it’s too late to deduct that from his bill. But from what she’s said about him, he sounds rather unpleasant, and I wouldn’t like the idea of him having possibly cut an extra key.

BerryTwister · 08/02/2026 18:20

Tontostitis · 08/02/2026 16:04

He's finished the work, you've checked the work,you're happy with the work, you should have already paid him.

@Tontostitis he hadn’t finished, because he still had OP’s key. Imagine if you went to the hairdresser, and they hung your coat up in their changing room. Then they cut your hair, made a great job of it, and expected you to pay and leave, without your coat. Wouldn’t you be a bit pissed off?

Tontostitis · 08/02/2026 18:40

BerryTwister · 08/02/2026 18:20

@Tontostitis he hadn’t finished, because he still had OP’s key. Imagine if you went to the hairdresser, and they hung your coat up in their changing room. Then they cut your hair, made a great job of it, and expected you to pay and leave, without your coat. Wouldn’t you be a bit pissed off?

No I'd pay as soon as it was done then my ask for my coat. You should pay tradesmen when they've finished unless you are dissatisfied. It's the kry to an empty house it's if no value to him at all. In fact keeping it would severely damage his reputation. Either he is starting to doubt Oap will pay or he's simply forgotten. Either way the obvious solution is to pay him.

roibustea · 08/02/2026 22:14

@Tontostitis

I really didn't think it was this complicated!

I gave him my spare key to be used for the three days he was painting. He was then supposed to leave the key. He did not leave the key. He took the key. This might have been an accident, and at no point during his tidying up, packing his van and leaving did he realise he still had the key, but judging by his reply to my query of where he had left it, it very much sounds like he took it on purpose. This is not the equivalent of you giving your coat to the hairdresser and them giving it back when you ask; this is the equivalent of the hairdresser taking your coat when you're having your haircut, and then when you notice and ask where it is, being told they have it. When you point out you need it, they say they'll drop it off at some point in the next couple of days. Once you've paid. You then have to leave without your coat, trusting that they will hopefully return it. Other than it 's not your coat, it's the key to your house.

Or to use the other analogy - it's like going to the Tesco checkout and handing over your clubcard. The cashier scans the clubcard, then pockets it and tells you you'll get it back sometime in the next couple of days. Once you've paid. With the additional underlying threat that if you don't pay, they'll come into your house and damage it. Despite you never having given them any indication that you are either unwilling or unable to pay.

And at the moment it is an empty house. Which could nevertheless be damaged by a weird, vengeful painter. And in a few weeks, it will no longer be an empty house, it will be a house with me in it. I'm not some mad millionaire who just buys random houses, gets them painted and then leaves them empty. Though I was more concerned about the perceived threat of what he would do if I was unhappy with the work, I nonetheless don't want this horrid little man having access to my home.

And for the last bloody time - I HAVE PAID HIM! And since I have paid his ransom, he has kindly agreed to relinquish his hostage. Tomorrow. At his convenience. He does know I want to give it to the floorer tomorrow, so I suppose I just have to wait and hope he deigns to return it in time 🤞

Anyway night all - I genuinely am grateful for the advice to change the locks, I will certainly be doing so once I've stopped handing out keys willy-nilly to strange men. Hopefully before I've annoyed any of them so much they go in and smash the place up! Now excited to see if flooring man also kidnaps my stuff...

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2026 22:20

Why haven’t you paid him ?

thats the first thing you should have done

Steeleydan · 08/02/2026 22:24

roibustea · 08/02/2026 22:14

@Tontostitis

I really didn't think it was this complicated!

I gave him my spare key to be used for the three days he was painting. He was then supposed to leave the key. He did not leave the key. He took the key. This might have been an accident, and at no point during his tidying up, packing his van and leaving did he realise he still had the key, but judging by his reply to my query of where he had left it, it very much sounds like he took it on purpose. This is not the equivalent of you giving your coat to the hairdresser and them giving it back when you ask; this is the equivalent of the hairdresser taking your coat when you're having your haircut, and then when you notice and ask where it is, being told they have it. When you point out you need it, they say they'll drop it off at some point in the next couple of days. Once you've paid. You then have to leave without your coat, trusting that they will hopefully return it. Other than it 's not your coat, it's the key to your house.

Or to use the other analogy - it's like going to the Tesco checkout and handing over your clubcard. The cashier scans the clubcard, then pockets it and tells you you'll get it back sometime in the next couple of days. Once you've paid. With the additional underlying threat that if you don't pay, they'll come into your house and damage it. Despite you never having given them any indication that you are either unwilling or unable to pay.

And at the moment it is an empty house. Which could nevertheless be damaged by a weird, vengeful painter. And in a few weeks, it will no longer be an empty house, it will be a house with me in it. I'm not some mad millionaire who just buys random houses, gets them painted and then leaves them empty. Though I was more concerned about the perceived threat of what he would do if I was unhappy with the work, I nonetheless don't want this horrid little man having access to my home.

And for the last bloody time - I HAVE PAID HIM! And since I have paid his ransom, he has kindly agreed to relinquish his hostage. Tomorrow. At his convenience. He does know I want to give it to the floorer tomorrow, so I suppose I just have to wait and hope he deigns to return it in time 🤞

Anyway night all - I genuinely am grateful for the advice to change the locks, I will certainly be doing so once I've stopped handing out keys willy-nilly to strange men. Hopefully before I've annoyed any of them so much they go in and smash the place up! Now excited to see if flooring man also kidnaps my stuff...

Edited

Maybe thinking about it you should have paid him, less the costs you will incur changing the locks as he seems not to want to give you the key.
I'd be suprised if he gives it to you

Applecup · 08/02/2026 23:45

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2026 22:20

Why haven’t you paid him ?

thats the first thing you should have done

Did you even read the thread?

Zonder · 08/02/2026 23:56

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2026 22:20

Why haven’t you paid him ?

thats the first thing you should have done

Why haven’t you read the thread ?

That's the first thing you should have done

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2026 23:58

Applecup · 08/02/2026 23:45

Did you even read the thread?

Yes i did

op took over a day to pay him

usually se tradesmen get paid when they have finished the job

painter finished job sat lunchtime

op didn’t pay till almost Sunday lunchtime (today)

Heyhoherewego23 · 09/02/2026 00:58

You also wouldn’t ask for your coat before you’d gone to reception to pay your bill….. that you were happy with…

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 09/02/2026 01:06

Pay him !
He has finished the job, he should not have to be texting you asking if you have paid.
What is your issue / problem with paying for a job that has been completed !

You even say he has done a lovely job - pay him !

dandelionfbdb · 09/02/2026 01:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Gobacktotheworld2 · 09/02/2026 03:13

You realise you're just going to get 28 pages of self-righteous illiterates screaming "OMG pay him!!!1!!!!" now, OP?

Berate OP first, but read what she actually fucking said - later... if ever.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/02/2026 06:37

BerryTwister · 08/02/2026 13:02

@Barrenfieldoffucks depending on the size and cost of the job, “cash on completion” is very much NOT the accepted way of paying tradesmen. £20 for a small job maybe, but 100s of £ I would expect a proper invoice, which I would pay by bank transfer, and would therefore go through the tradesman’s books. I’m happy to give £20 cash here and there for regular tradesmen to avoid a bit of tax, but definitely not for a big job, and not to someone I didn’t know.

And it’s not my fault if a tradesman has had a bad experience with customers not paying. I’ve never not paid a bill in my life, and I’d be furious if a tradesman took a possession of mine as insurance against non-payment.

Cash is a turn of phrase in this instance.

changeme4this · 09/02/2026 19:20

didn’t you say Up thread you mentioned he offered to meet you but you were not available. … He is hardly holding it to ransom. Get a family member to go around for you.

pineapplesundae · 09/02/2026 19:28

He probably got ripped off before and now wants to make sure he gets paid. Just pay the man and he’ll give you your key. Don’t over think it.

Dawnb19 · 09/02/2026 19:38

My partner is a painter and has people's keys all the time. I've never had someone refuse to pay him until he drops the key off. He does like to meet the person he's painted for so he can go through the house to make sure they are happy and hand the keys back. I don't think he'll like to just put them in someone's letter box incase they say they couldn't find them.

PollyBell · 09/02/2026 20:00

So a person does a job ans you think paying is optional?

TheLilacLeader · 09/02/2026 20:19

If he's done the work to satisfaction then pay him. He is self employed and needs the money plus done your work. Possessing your key doesn't pay his tax or buy his food, the key is of no use to him for goodness sake!

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 10/02/2026 04:06

roibustea · 08/02/2026 11:19

I do tend to overthink things! His messages just made me uneasy. He did a great job, he was very fast and much cheaper than any other quote. But I don't think I'd use him again as I very much disliked his attitude. Maybe that's why this seems more of an issue than it is; if my lovely handyman accidently took the key and said he'd drop it back, I wouldn't hesitate in paying him regardless.

Your attitude is the problematic one. You absolutely should have already paid him.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 10/02/2026 04:08

roibustea · 08/02/2026 11:39

I have paid as it seems it isn't unusual for tradesmen to kidnap keys and refuse to return them until you do. I started the thread as I didn't know this was normal, it seems a bit threatening to me. But this is my first big tradesman job where I've left them to it, so I don't really know what's usual. Hopefully he will return it, I suppose there's not much I can do if he doesn't. I don't really want to leave him a bad review if he has my door key! Just have to hope he's not as dodgy as he seems.

I can't really afford to change the locks, I'll be adding a doorbell camera next week so hopefully will feel a bit more secure. And there's nothing to nick until then anyway! I really don't imagine he's intending to keep my key forever and do some burgling in his spare time, it just seemed odd that he took it and then when I asked made it sound like it was intentional and that I'll get it back at his convenience. But thanks everybody, apparently this is entirely standard behaviour and I'll bear it in mind. Though I think I'll be a bit more cautious about handing keys out in the future, it has made me rather uneasy.

Can't afford to change the locks???? It costs like 100, maybe. Its so easy to replace them on your own.

Iamsotiredandfedup · 10/02/2026 04:19

PAY HIM OP

sorry I couldn’t resist 😂

what an odd man, that’s really not normal or professional behaviour. If what others are saying is true that “maybe he hasn’t been paid before so keeps the key?” then he needs to make that clear before taking on a job. It’s a shame after he did a good job because I personally wouldn’t recommend him after that

EmbroideredGardener · 10/02/2026 07:48

Payments take about 10 seconds to go through now, there really isn't an excuse to not pay as soon as you receive the invoice, which is usually emailed as soon as they finish.

tuvamoodyson · 10/02/2026 09:16

Have you thought of paying him OP? 🤔 Joking!!!!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 10/02/2026 15:27

@roibustea

Do you now have the key ?

and btw he didn't steal the key, your title is very misleading. He just hadn't returned it...yet.