My ds keep shaming me

[Sunshining20]

My 4 and 5 year old DS have taken to calling me the worst fattest mum in the world every time I don't give in to TV or snack demands. They also tell me to shut my mouth and hit me. But the calling me fat all the time is relentless.

They come from a loving home and me and my husband parent seemingly the same as our other parent friends. Giving boundaries, organising things like baking and days out and socialise.

Where have we gone wrong? How do we fix this? We have done time outs and explained this language and behaviour isn't acceptable.

It makes me very sad and resentful.

You sound like a lovely mum with two tiny children testing boundaries they don't understand. Rightly, you sound like you're going to ignore all the posters who are giving parenting advice out of the dark ages..
Good luck!!

Oh @Sunshining20 do try to ignore the pile on. You sound fine, and it’s really tricky. Your children are normal and not the spawn of satan… although the behaviour is very unacceptable, many parents have dealt with this and worse. You will get them through it with some tough (non violent) love.

I would suggest a serious reigning in of the TV content. Personally I would never be comfortable with YouTube kids as general watching, since there have been documented problems with the content for around a decade (eg https://medium.com/@jamesbridle/something-is-wrong-on-the-internet-c39c471271d2)

There’s so much good stuff on CBeebies. Maybe try some of the kids documentary stuff, I appreciate it’s all trial and error. My kids are more reactive after spidey, so we watch it rarely (not never) now. Octonauts and paw patrol both seem exciting but less over-stimulating apparently. Deadly 60, Deadly dinosaurs, all the Andy’s adventures, even Waffle the (somewhat annoying) dog. The best thing I did was follow through on “my choice of tv or no tv” a few times!

I would tear them a new one

Lovely 🙄

Do they call your DH fat or just you?

I’ve just had a read through and I think there’s some crazy stuff on this thread too. From abuse to smacking and taking all their kids stuff. And watching YouTube!!!! The horror! 😂 kids YT is harmless.

@Sunshining20OP I know it’s sounds horrible but they likely don’t mean it!! They’ve probably heard it somewhere and want to try it out. To them it’s their worst insult a they probably like the reaction it gets. They’re also a similar age and egging each other on. A bit. It sounds like your chat and limiting TV has been successful. They’re very young still so sorting this now is good - but trust me, they’ll hear and try worse as they get older.

This works well with my son too actually.

So many parents advocating for child abuse on here. What is wrong with you all???

standing kids facing a wall? Making them scared of you?

no wonder we have so many kids struggling with their mental health.

disgusting the lot of you (not the sensible ones obviously)

😂😂😂

Do you not understand that you have different relationships and different dynamics within these relationships?

Adults/children/family/friends/colleagues/
strangers - you just treat all of them the same way?

Mumsnet can be really harsh sometimes, it's likely your little ones are picking this language up from their peers at school and testing boundaries, don't be too hard on yourself as long as you are enforsing positive behavior your doing great! It's not all sunshine and rainbows with young children as people on here would have you believe 💐

They are children.

As other posters have said, you need to be stern but I would wonder where this is coming from. When my daughter was a little older than your children her behaviour and attitude towards me deteriorated with shouting, acting out and talking back appearing out of nowhere. I couldn't understand it as whilst she was never a shrinking violet, she wasn't usually rude towards me and aggressive. After a while I realised she was copying Tracey Beaker, a character from a TV show about a girl in care based on Jacqueline Wilson's books . I explained that whilst the girl on the show appeared to face very few real consequences of her behaviour, I would be imposing consequences as any self respecting person would not put up with Tracey Beaker's or her rudeness and surliness. I also limited her access to TB. If it isn't the way you or your husband speak about other people, find out the source of the attitude whilst imposing more consequences.

100%

If they behave well, she will consider letting them have TV tomorrow. If they don’t behave well, they will not have TV tomorrow

I’m not talking about a beating, I’m talking about a smack that is enough to shock them, but obviously no where near actually marking them. And that is not illegal in England…

2 out of 4. It is not fully illegal in Northern Ireland as well.
And why should MN delete posts? The posts are not about anything illegal (in the parts of the UK where the majority of people live) and it isn’t like they are advocating beating/hurting.

Thankfully that’s against the law where I live.

I’m always amazed at people who seem to look back fondly at smacking their children.

Hard agree! ^ There are some appalling examples of 'parenting' on this thread. God help us all! 😬

.

It's shocking isn't it? Absolutely disgusting that anyone is supporting physically assaulting your own children. It's illegal for an adult physically assault another ADULT, but inexplicably it's not illegal for an adult to physically assault a small CHILD. (In England and Northern Ireland.)

One of the laws in England and Northern Ireland that is batshit fucking crazy and need changing. Why the fuck is it illegal in Scotland and Wales but not in England and Northern Ireland?

Utterly outrageous!

Quite frankly, some of the posts on this thread make me sick to my stomach.

Posts promoting physical chastisement have no place on a forum for parents and I’m not going to change my stance on that.

Still abuse and still teaches that violence is ok.

horrific. I expect any “parent” who hurts their child in this way doesn’t stop at the not marking stage (whatever that is).

I hate this country sometimes. Hate that people treat their children so badly.

Which country?

England. But anywhere where parents think it’s ok to hurt their children and make them stand facing walls etc.

Totally agree.

I did not hurt the DGC they had been fighting and throwing large objects at each other (scooters, bikes). They were standing there considering the damage they could have done to each other and watching birds, cows etc.

I smacked my kids (a very small handful of times only their whole childhood) and they were never marked. I was smacked, and as far as I remember I was never marked. I am glad I was smacked the small amount of times I was, I think I turned out well, never in trouble at school, with the police etc etc.