Tiny bit of me wants to point out Karma (disability related)

[Blueeyedstork]

In a nutshell my friends DH has always been very vocal about disabled people being a drain on society and that it should not matter how disabled someone is they should either work or go in a home. Benefits should not be allowed.

this conversation was had years ago and I ended up leaving the house as I myself am disabled and I work for a disability charity and part of that is help people filling in forms. He said that I was contributing to the problem!! He also said he ever found himself with a disability he would work.

anyway after a lot of bad blood we now tolerate each other for friends sake and the topic was never brought up.

3 months ago he had an car crash (not his fault) and he now facing life in a wheelchair. Suddenly he is wanting me to help with advice, benefits etc as it will take ages to get to a point where he can do some kind of work. he seems to have forgotten all he said before.

now I will help him for my friends sake and I won’t point out the irony of him being so against disabled people and now he is one himself. But a bit of me is temped.

it just goes to show it can really happen to anyone at any age at any time. I developed epilepsy at 23 and narcepsy at 27. My cousin was diagnosed with MS at 40. I also know many people through work who were not born with a disability but in later life due to accident or illness. Many of those have admitted they thought it would never happened to them and a few have even said they looked down on people with a disability.

I decided to write this thread now as a lady had put on another thread that vulnerable people should be at the bottom of the list when it comes to services and budgets. I am guessing she would change her tune very quickly if she found herself of someone she loves on the other side.

it can happened to anyone, any time, any age, any where. I think people forgot this.

I don't think you need to mention what he said, I'm sure it comes back to him regularly, probably at 3am when he can't sleep.

It’s what the thread is about. HTH

It’s not glee. I had a similar reaction when my ex-SIL had a DS who was diagnosed with autism. I had faced years of nasty comments from her towards my own autistic DS. She’d tell me that he just needed a good hard smack, and that I “wasn’t cut out to be a mother” when I was struggling.

Glee suggests that I was happy that my DN has autism. I absolutely wasn’t happy that he was autistic. But I did feel relief that her bitchy comments would stop once the shoe was on the other foot.

I agree. The OP is dressing it up as 'well now he knows what it's like!' but her posts have a whiff of schadenfreude. She has even said 'oh the irony!' And it feels a bit like 'KARMA gotcha!' I'm surprised so many posters are saying 'YANBU.' Not a nice thread at all.

Well he wasn’t nice, was he? Why does he deserve niceness in return when he’s obviously a massive horrible twat?

You're absolutely right. Of course people would want the support if they themselves became disabled.

I absolutely would take great joy in pointing it out to him. Cunts like him deserve their comeuppance.

His attitude and his willingness to spout it so vociferously tells me all I need to know about him.

Your friend isn’t much better, tbh. She has clearly accepted it as she is still married to him.

My DH would bitterly regret voicing an opinion like that ONCE, never mind multiple times.

It would serve him right to hear it. ( I am NOT saying that it serves him right to be in this situation)

And I would not be lifting a finger to help him, either.
I don’t care how that makes me look, tbh.

I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of using Google, CAB etc.
The information he needs will be out there, somewhere. He can find it for himself.

I don’t hear any glee in OP’s post. This man insulted OP, who is disabled, but she says, although tempted, I will help him for my friends sake and I won’t point out the irony of him being so against disabled people and now he is one himself.

Very restrained. Which is good, but not everyone would be!

I agree with this!

I literally had 2 strokes overnight.

difference is I wasn't a cunt about disabled people before I became one.

but its certainly life changing. Eye opening & frankly fucking awful.

i just got a Social Care written assessment after doing the interview, talk about 'bringing it home' 🙇🏻‍♀️🥲

I guess that this response is pretty revolting too, or in the very least judgemental.

Glee? I don't see any glee?

I think he has got what he deserves! Why is it OK for people like him to spout his vile shit to others who are suffering, and then expect those same people to feel sorry for him and help him when he finds himself in the same situation? The OP is a better person than me, as I don't think I'd be able to restrain myself in this circumstance.

Unlike those that glory in the idea of removing support from the disabled.

Then someone speaks about being disabled on those threads and people say "not you of course, you'll be ok" ...Knowing full well it will affect every disabled person.

Frightening a whole group of vulnerable people is ok? Commenting on how oblivious one able bodied person was is NOT ok?? 🤔

I wouldn’t help this man at all. Ask him go seek advice front CAB.

Ive got two incurable cancers( on chemo until it stops working!) I’m sick of people slating people on benefits.
My own neighbour refers to those on benefit, as leeches! I’ve worked or been on training all my life. I didn’t ask for cancer. Guess that makes me a “ leech “ then?

There had been quite a few nasty threads lately where disabled people have been told they shouldn’t be allowed to vote, shouldn’t be permitted to take part in society, should be put in homes, should be forced to travel around in clearly marked cars so everyone knows those who opt for a Motability car, should not receive any benefits at all etc.

It’s awful to be on the receiving end of such uncivilised coments, so I can understand why the OP feels the way she does. And I very much admire her for being the bigger person and assisting this man to get the help he is entitled to as a disabled person.

Why are we never supposed to point this stuff out to right wing types? They spend their lives looking down on other people whether because they're poor or disabled or gay or whatever and only ever see the error of their ways when they themselves are directly affected..

I know someone ( a relative I sometimes couldn't avoid, or I'd have had nothing to do with her) who claims to be a pious Christian who used to say the most awful things about gay people. Her golden boy came out age 23 when he'd finished uni and moved away and oh my god, did she ever have a Damascene conversion. All those horrible, narrow minded, bigoted things she'd said about other people's kids over the years - we were supposed to pretend she'd never said them.

I have no problem even if the OP does feel like that The guy was an utter gobshite, absolutely awful.

I wouldn't say 'he deserved it' but I would say better him than someone who wasn't suck a nasty bastard about disabled oeopke

💁🏻‍♀️

Dyou know, it can be very hard to put yourself in someone else's position particularly with disability and understanding the wide range of disadvantages disability brings with it. Also benefits, people see it as something for nothing I til their circumstances change and they need to claim.

I think part of being a good person, someone who cares about people suffering disability having a safety net, also involves acknowledging that arseoles exist among both the able bodied and disabled populations and even arseoles like him deserve help claiming the necessary disability benefits to keep them ticking over. Hopefully he'll build some character form it but if not don't lower yourself thinking of karma

Not happy with some of the extremely judgemental messages on here after reading a very honest and heartfelt post. It think that OP is v v brave to have admitted having the (limited) feelings following her/his friend becoming disabled. I also think that OP has been incredibly generous to have continued her friendship with this man when he was so damning towards the disabled, and should be very proud for standing beside him.

Controversial here, but do you re-consider your attitude towards someone because they become disabled? Does it make them immune to feelings of negativity? Are they not still a total ?

Perspective. Quick idea here and forgive me for being perhaps slightly extreme but it's a good example. Epstein. Hmm, he wasn't very nice, and he committed some terrible crimes. He also did some dreadful things to women. However, had he fallen in front of a tram, and been debilitated, would you then have felt sorry for him?

I'm off now. This is just making me cross.

I agree.

there are some proper Pollyanna's on this thread.

i became disabled overnight & it doesn't upset me, she hasn't says ALL disabled people deserve it. Just that this twat this bloke is now wanting help. Not to be out in a home and she's 🙄🙄🙄🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Yep

Exactly NOT

No it doesn't help. But it does show you up.

Anyone else the OP works for that goes to them for help obviously.🙄

Today has been a bad day for MN.

it must be the weather, or the vile behaviour in the big wild world is infecting people. I've never known it to be so spiteful and malevolent.

Have you filled any of these firms in or tried to Google for help? Given your post I'd say not.