To say it isn't worth working full time with young kids unless you earn very well?

[Karma1387]

I have done a few posts recently and on a couple its come up frequently how insane it is to give up work/pension etc when having children which made me really think am I being unreasonable and should I try to go back to full time work after DC2 maternity leave.

I went through finances today to look into my partner taking a paycut due to wanting to get him off nights for his health and then looked at how much better/ worse off we would be if I then went and found a full time job.

I was honestly shocked how much worse off we would be with him taking a paycut to come off nights and me finding a full time job and putting the kids into childcare. We would be about £750 short each month. We do have a bit of debt which would mean we were only £250 short but I can't understand where the logic/motivation is to go back to full time work whilst kids are young if you are worse off or break even.

I would need to earn 40k in order to break even. For people who aren't in high earning professions I just can't understand how they afford to work full time and put kids into childcare. Even when the kids hit school age with before and after school care plus school holidays we would only be a little over breaking even if I worked full time!

I understand people talk about pensions but on a 24k salary (assuming you didn't work your way up) the pension at 67 would only be 5k a year. So what is the point really?

AIBU to say it really isn't worth working full time with kids (that require childcare) unless you are earning a very good salary?

I think its great if couples can do this. Unfortunately not all sectors this is doable like supermarket retail.

My eldest is 9, I earn 50k pa more than I did when I first went on mat leave. Leaving the workforce to be a SAHM means you reduce your chances of climbing the career ladder to achieve your higher earning potential. If that works for you family great (i think id love to be a SAHM!) but don’t base decisions on assuming your current earnings would stay the same forever.

My decisions are based on my current situation but only because we would be going into debt to afford me to work full time. That just seems a bit insane to me!

Once the kids are a bit older it will probably be a little different as childcare costs wont be quite as much!

I think this is true. It was only a few days ago I read a thread on here from a woman who’d taken a decade out of the workforce and was pretty naive about what job she could get on her return. I think she wanted a £50k job with flexibility and some home working.

I think unless you’re deadset on being a CEO by 45, or a high flying lawyer, or similar, a few years not working are absolutely fine and won’t hurt your career. But there does seem to be a subset of mothers (not necessarily you OP) who don’t really understand that a significant time out of work will massively impact their earnings and work choices in the future.

Oh I fully understand when I go back it would be on minimum wage. I would be on minimum wage even if I went back to get a career now as it would be a different sector to what I left.

Once the kids are in school you will have far more options. It's not the end of the world to take a few years out.

When I had DS I earned about 35k he's just turned 7 I've had promotions and now earn almost 70k. It's worth it. Also it was worth it to keep my brain alive and to have an identity outside of my family.

Woukd it be worth going into 15-30k worth of debt though?

Or more logical to wait until nurseey years are over and we wouldnt be in the negative each month?

And the only way to have a brain alive is through work? I have never used my brain as much as I do on a variety of subjects as when I am not working!

I think it depends on the individual. I personally couldn't be a SAHM. I had 5 months of ML off out of 12 months and had to go back to work for my own sanity. We were better off by £5 pw for me going back to work but I needed it ( Nursery fees back then were £1090) I was able to work full time but up and out early whilst the sperm donor did the morning and nursery run which meant I got my baby to myself for a few hours in the afternoon before SD came home after work. When we split, life threw a few more challenges my way, but you find ways to cope. I now earn a six figure salary, have paid my maximum NI's and am comfortable, doing what I want, when I want. Sometimes it's not about being financially viable, but mentally and emotionally

So, you've stopped work in your original higher paid job and now do 2 shifts a week min wage, your partner had to take a night job but now wants to do days so will have to take a pay cut too, but all the childcare bills are solely down to you to pay? You're not married so no security/ claim on his assets etc if you split up.
Can he not take some of the burden here, why can't you have the opportunities to have a decent job/ work your way up and someone else to pay the childcare bill, like he has?
It seems a bit unfair. Did he not want kids or something? Why is it only a "you problem"?

Do you qualify for UC? Maybe work a bit less and claim UC until the kids are at school.

It's a different type of challenge, my work is very intense, very intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically challenging can be utterly devastating but also incredibly rewarding. I'd probably feel differently if I did something mind numbing, I had a summer temp job once in a filing basement just shredding everything before a prescribed date. That wouldn't do it for me!

I didnt think it was worth going into debt to work full time. I found working part time maximised our household income. It kept me a reference and in the workplace. I dont think some people realise what a privilege it is to make the household create an actual debt to keep working even though its a joint cost

Im not quite following why your dh giving up nights for his health means you have to work full time? Was the thought is youd make up the shortfall but it actually costs more.

Can you not just work the free childcare hours? Or is that what you are saying, you might as well still do part time.

Yes I gave up my managerial job as childcare doesnt exist for the sort of hours we needed covered.

My partner had to take a night vacancy due to losing his licence due to crashing his car falling asleep. The only vacancy with the company which was commutable by bus was a night vacancy. He doesnt want to come off nights, I want him to come off nights as it isnt helping his health condition.

The childcare burden isnt mine alone. My calculations are all based on our household income.

If he took a 8-10k paycut to work days and I went hand got a new full time job starting at the bottom. Our household would be negative £500-750 per month.

So its not a case of it being my burden. All our money goes to 1 account. Our household couldnt financially cope with me in full time work with his paycut and childcare costs on top. So it is both our burdens.

Sure, I understand better. Most of us aren't that lucky though. Good for you!

I work 2 nights a week just doing basic night retail. I would probably struggle to find a vacancy which is 9.30-3 on 3 days a week.
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The reason for me exploring full time is in order for my partner to move off of nights he will have a roughky 8-10k paycut. I assumed this would mean I would need to pick up a fulll time job to cover the shortfall but after working out childcare costs I realised it would cripple us financially.

Yeah basically there is no financial benefit (actually its a financial hinderance) to work full time which massively took me by surprise!

We arent eligible for UC unfortunately even if my partner took the paycut.

I chose to go part time (3 days). Then the pandemic happened and shuttered my company. I was left with a 1 year old and no nursery even if I could work!
However, when I started looking there were indeed entry-level jobs that you can start off doing part time. I have had two of them in the last 8 years. Financial services admin (they paid for me to do exams) and accounts payable/receivable which I am doing now. I've found this the best of both worlds and I don't need to put "part time" on my CV.

I love being with my son. He goes to nursery 3 days a week so I get a small break anyway (although usually 2 of the nursery days are on my working days)

I think if you love your job and mentally need it then its possibly worth the cost. But not if it meant actually going into debt for a few years. I cant imagine thats create for ones mental state no matter how much they miss work.

Did you have accounting background or office experience. I have seen a few of these jobs (although I think they were full time) but they all wanted finance or accounting experience or admin/office experience.

If I was to retrain in anything I would love to do accounting but most places want experience and are full time which isnt feasible with childcare.

But it is a vacancy I am keeping an eye out for later in the year if I can find a part time one that doesnt require experience.

It depends on how low your household income is. Someone entitled to UC can get up to 85% of childcare costs. Salaries under a certain amount (100k I think?) Can get 20% off childcare on the tax free childcare scheme. A couple working full time on minimum wage would be better off working.

Yeah my calculations for childcare are based on using the 22 free hours (spread over the whole year) and the 20% tax free. With the amount left to pay we would end up 500-750 short each month. Thats a lot of debt.

We arent entitled to UC even if my partner took a 10k paycut.

No accounting experience at all - I changed jobs less than a year ago. Prior to that I was working in mortgages which sounds similar but is not at all the same skillset.

In fairness yes, during the pandemic when I was searching I had both retail and office experience. Not admin though.

I will keep an eye out then. I'm not sure if my lack of office experience will be a issue but it may be an option if i can find a part time vacancy which works around the free childcare.

It doesnt actually help with our financial issue of working full time but at least it would get my foot in the door for somewhere I could work full time eventually when kids are older.