Was I mean to neighbour?

[cadburysbunny]

So my next door neighbour has pretty much excluded me since I moved here.

Has mums parties with the other mums on the estate, has a WhatsApp group chat with them etc.
Me and my other neighbour were not invited to join but we know about it from the other neighbours.
From what I hear the other mums have now distanced themselves from her now.

I don't know why as I would take her deliveries in for her when she was at work and was always friendly to her.

Since I found out about the group and about the things she said about me I began refusing her deliveries. She would ignore me (would say hello before) but would always say hello to OH if she saw him.

Suites me fine as as I found her quite intrusive to be honest.

Anyway a note was slipped through the door at 10pm on Wednesday night.

Her and her toddler were ill and would be going to her parents early Thursday morning to recover and wanted me to accept a delivery which was too late to re arrange.

Of course when the delivery came I didn't bother opening the door and it was a large delivery too.

My OH thinks I did the right thing as he knows what she has been like.

I do feel a bit bad was I mean to do this?
Im not a nasty person and usually do help neighbours if they are nice to me but she has cold for no reason.

Grow up

Interesting. It does sound a bit childish really.

There are mums in my street and one of them her DH was best friends with another’s DH. This one mum was either shy or not friendly and she was called Amanda (Motherland) but the other mums. Then sadly her DH ended his life and the best friend and his family (who moved abroad) pay for her and her DC to go skiing with them every year.

I’m quite lucky as I have no children so never needed to see the mums apart from when we all went out fairly regularly. I can see if you have to see them at the school gate, play dates and so on it could get awkward.

I don’t like bitchiness though. It’s childish.

Basically yes!

I think if she isn’t a friend and actually ignores you then you don’t owe her any favours. YANBU

I think you have dodged a bullet with her and in your place I would maintain distance.
I certainly wouldn't be taking in any parcel.
She may well try to increase contact now that she has burnt other bridges, but I wouldn't engage with her at all.

It was mean spirited and petty. You should have risen above it.
You don't have to be her best friend but it would be better to maintain the moral high ground

How was the note worded? If it was 'so sorry but need to ask a favour. Could you take in a delivery for me? I would be so grateful. Thank you' I might take the higher ground but if it was 'having a delivery but need to go to my mums as ill so it will be coming to you' I wouldn't.

A fine example of reaping what you sow.
Your neighbour sowed and now she is reaping.
Don't give her another thought

The note was worded as

"Me and Jack are seriously not well, going to my parents tomorrow until weekend. Unable to re arrange delivery so I have re arranged delivery to yours as nobody else is able to accommodate. Will also leave a note on my own door" Thanks

And how would I have known the time slot of the delivery? She would of expected me to wait in, when the delivery came I was actually getting DC ready to go out so I wouldn't of been able to stop changing my baby just for her delivery, and it was a large delivery as well like mirror or something.

I'm surprised at how many posters on here think someone should be the bigger person, is it an extension of the be kind nonsense?

If someone treats you like shit why should you be nice and do them favours. It doesn't make you a worse person...it makes you someone who has got boundaries and doesn't tolerate that kind of behaviour.

She couldn't even be bothered to ask you in person. That's bad manners.

You did nothing wrong.

Is this the same neighbour of the doorbell cam saga?. I thought you were moving?

@cadburysbunny no way on God's earth would i be hanging around all day waiting for a CFs delivery. A CF who has treated me like a bad smell. What if the item was last on the list at 6pm?
Illness or no illness, int ain't your problem

@Dollymylove
There was no need to hang around waiting. The bell rang when the OP was in. I wouldn't have waited in or gone out of my way to be helpful but equally I wouldn't ignore the bell for some petty 'win'.

Cheeky cow. I’d have ignored the door. But I do have a really horrible ndn.

Exactly. If you carry on being the nice guy you’re just showing the person you don’t require any respect and can be walked all over.

I don't think you were mean and I'd have done the same thing.

But seriously stop giving this WhatsApp group thing any headspace. You are not a high school anymore, there is nothing you can do about it and so let it go.

She should have knocked and asked if anything.

But if it only occurred to her at 10 pm at night, I doubt the OP would have been thrilled with a knock on her door.

It's all very Amandaland

You have a neighbourhood police officer 😮where do you live?

And the WhatsApp group is probably not a neighbourhood one so much as "mums who have been friends for ages". They may well have titled it "Leckford Road Mums" because that's how they met, but it's not more than a convenient way of distinguishing it from other groups.

That is funny, but I think you maybe confused.

Its not a Facebook group, it's a WhatsApp group for the mothers here.

The neighbour isn't sociable with the members of the group anymore.
She is well known here but because she falls out with people all the time for stuff mentioned in my post.

Can’t be that seriously ill if she’s able to drop round notes and get herself over to her mothers house!!