Brother sold mum's wedding ring

[goudacheese]

My mum in her late 80s mentioned to me last week that gold prices are high. I didn't think much of it and then I have just found out from her that my brother took her to the local jewellers at the weekend and sold her wedding ring plus another couple of gold items pocketing himself over a grand.
Mum has justified doing this by saying that the ring was too big and might be stollen by carers.
Im pretty certain the ring is bequeathed to me in her will and although I haven't given it much thought I always imagined it would be a keepsake. My brother got my late dad's jewellery when he died.
I just feel I should have been included in any plans so we could have discussed it. I appreciate its mum's ring to do as she wishes but I think my brother could have put the brakes on and spoken to me first.

This is my family all over. My mum, 82 background in admin, thinks she's suddenly some shit hot financial whizz.
My brother, mostly single, moderate earner, the favourite, functioning alcoholic spots and easy money scheme.
My mum says something like better off being used rather than taken by the taxman like she's got some billion dollar estate to manage.
Somehow that hoarded money is never used to book the cleaner for an extra hour or a taxi in the rain or even the steady small drip into an ISA for the grand children. It's just given to golden balls in big chunks for him to piss up against the ball whilst my mum congratulates herself at 'reading the market' .
She's sold quite a lot of stuff recently to an oil tongued dealer who keeps coming back for more, not the visible stuff interestingly but the autograph albums, the film collectables, unworn jewellery. My mum gets £40 and a lot of someone telling her how interesting her stories are. It's okay for listening.

I think fundamentally everyone knows this is on slightly dodgy territory because generally I hear. In advance, all about plans to drop stuff off at the charity shop or who is calling round or dithering over keeping a potentially useful 1980s matched set of luggage.

It is absolutely financial abuse. Your brother has an open line to your Mums bank and assets and, in your words, doesn’t bother with her much, which conditions your Mum to give money to curry favour. The term may sound shocking or ugly, but she is being abused financially.

Your brother is not a good person, selling your Mums wedding ring to profit from it. I would keep an eye on him and your Mum who sounds vulnerable. Sorry if it’s been asked as I’ve not rtft but does your Mum have dementia or could she have the start of it?

I’d be livid. Are you in a position to buy it back from the shop ?

Get down your mum's and grab anything of value, now.
If your thieving brother says anything you deny all knowledge.

All kinds of wrong. The money should have gone straight into her account.

Does smatter of coercion

Your brothers a thief and you need to safeguard your mum and her belongings and money from him. I bet he is draining her accounts and abusing her x get anything of value out her home and put
cameras up in her house. He is vile and your mum is in danger.

It's sad for you if your mum decided to sell her ring rather than leaving it to you, but as you say, she has the right. What is not right is your brother selling it and keeping the money, unless your mum especially wanted him to have it and is of sound enough mind to decide that.
If not, there is abuse of his position as LPA. If you suspect he keeps doing this, you should really take action.

To prevent this happening to others, everyone with a mother whose rings get too big to wear, can help their parent get the ring resized.

@goudacheese I'd have it out with your brother.

Your poor mum, I'm very emotionally attached to my wedding ring and woukd be distraught - and very disappointed in my son if he did that, so double distraught.

Scum bag.
My very elderly mum is in a care home. She still has her wedding ring but I took her engagement ring and all her other jewellery for safe keeping. So a decision can be made at the right time about what to do with it all.
Scum behaviour from your dbro.

It looks like the OP does as well as she receives several thousand a year.

Bil is like this, scammed his mum out of money, total bastard.

Yes, and as well as that I’d be reporting him to HMRC. He’s obviously received more money recently that the 3k maximum if he’s managed to cadge 10k for a new van as well as the gold money on top, and considering everything else I doubt he’s done it above board and paid the tax man what’s owed on it.

If it is definitely in DMs will that you get her wedding ring I would be furious and have it out with DB. A wedding ring is something that holds sentimental value to many people. DB should not have pocketed the money. I would be telling him to use his pocketed money to buy the wedding ring back.

It doesn't sound to me as if he has fallen foul of CGT rules?

Your brother only thinks about himself.
That ring should've gone to you if he kept his dads valuables, or as you say, a keep sake. How sad for your mum and you.

One of my brothers stole a coin from me when I was in my teens and sold for ciggies. A different brother sold dads gold lighter that was gifted to him and it was used for drugs. People are shitty and do horrible things, you brother is one of them and he's stolen basically from his vulnerable mum.

Report him to the police for abuse of the elderly.

This. They should have also consulted with you. Mum's jewellery is also normally left to the daughter too. I'd be concerned that your brother forced your mum to sell it 😞

Any chance of your brother buying the ring back and giving it to you ?

Go and buy back any item that is dear to you, Op.

I would be cautious of what your brother is removing from your mum keep an eye on finances closely he may be exploiting her.

He wasn't acting as POA here though. Sounds like mum has capacity and was making the decision herself.

Of course it is elder financial abuse.
Of course you should report your brother to the police.
Bloody hell.

Yes, this. PoA comes with all sorts of rules and restrictions. Speak to the office of the Public Guardian/the Court of Protection about it and see what they say.

We finally stopped MIL giving huge sums of money to her scheming youngest son by pointing out to her if she has no money for a care home, she'll end up in whatever one the Council choose and that could be 50 miles away and none of her friends/family would be able to visit her.

A bit mean but it worked and when the time came, she self-funded for 4 years in a lovely private care home literally 200 metres away from her original family home.

(Personally I think council run care homes are better than private as staff are better paid and Council's are under massive scrutiny but MIL was a massive snob!).