Page 12 | I'm too boring for DH

PeachySmile2 · 07/02/2026 11:01

Wowserbowser88 · 07/02/2026 00:09

Oh and I should take a look at myself and see what a mess I am as all i have is the children and work

Your husband is a cunt

LifeisLemons · 07/02/2026 11:05

Yes, start looking for evidence of another woman.

This constant gaslighting and blaming you for the supposed marriage problems are classic signs of him getting ready to do a runner and move in with his mistress.

Start taking back control and start digging.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 07/02/2026 11:05

Squirrel60 · 07/02/2026 09:16

What an absolutele self-obsessed, BORING, motor-mouthed, moronc arsehole he is!

I know it won't be easy with 2 kids, but dump him as soon as you can, file for divorce.

He's up his own arse with his ginormous ego.

I feel so sorry for your kids having him as a barely part-time ''father''.

DON'T tell him you're leaving, with the kids, make some type of secret plan to live somewhere else, preferably miles and miles away, where it would take him forever to find you. Move in with friends or family, rent or buy somewhere, even if it's just something basic for the time being, as long as you 3 are safe.

Then, when he comes back one day/night from his shifts or his boring football and pub, you 3 won't be there.

Block his phone number and emails, and change the door locks so he'll have to pay for a locksmith to get in, block him in any way you can.

Maybe there's some sort of organisation that can help you.

It sounds like he's either shagging some bimbo or planning to do it.

Please, leave him as soon as you possibly can.

Don't do this.

Tempting as it might be, disappearing with his children and no way for him to contact them will NOT reflect well on OP.

toiletpaperthief · 07/02/2026 11:08

He doesn't value you and he knows he can get away with being a total d-ickhead because you're fully invested and not going to walk away. He's probably cheating, he probably wants out and is looking at ways of sabotaging this marriage so you dump him. In any case he doesn't want to be with you and he's told you loud and clear. When man tells you what he think listen to him. If I were you I would start silently putting all my ducks in a row behind his back while you play dumb, legally and financially. I would visit a lawyer to see were I stand, gather paperwork. Once I had all tied up, photocopies copies of all his assets and bank accounts etc.. then I would sit with him and gently let him know that he is no longer fun either and you want a divorce.

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 07/02/2026 11:08

I've just read your posts out to my husband, who says you've to "ask him what colour of bin bags he wants his fucking clothes in".

Your husband is a horrible bastard. I'm angry on your behalf and really sorry he's doing this to you x

Sisublondie · 07/02/2026 11:12

I’ve just read your posts out to my husband, and he says we should ALL get out more! 😈……..

KIDDING! He says he’s concurs with all the comments and thinks he’s a selfish twat, too!

diddl · 07/02/2026 11:13

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

How would they benefit?

Or does he mean socialising with other families?

Either way he's horrible!

Evaka · 07/02/2026 11:15

Oh love, it's only going one way. Please make a plan for separating.

NoisyViewer · 07/02/2026 11:16

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 07/02/2026 07:51

Hi NoisyViewer, sorry to pick you out, as you are not by any means, the only Mumsnetter to be seemingly agreeing with @Wowserbowser88's Husband, that her apparent lack of friends
is the reason she is boring! I actually agree with most of what you said, which is maybe why I wanted to quote your comment? I truly believe that whether someone has friends or not, will not have any bearing as to whether a person has any interests outside of either their home, or workplace, environment.

I have several issues with that type of thinking. The first one being that I doubt very much that the OP is boring, and yet too many PPs are giving replies that appear to be taking that part of her OP for granted! Another problem I have is more like a rhetorical question, it is "who can accurately judge whether a particular person is interesting or not?" An example of what I mean, is:

When my DH, (who was an engineer before he retired), used to give a monologue talk aout his job, he could keep that up for at least 20 minutes, and I hate to admit it, but I'm quite sure that my eyes must have sometimes glazed over, and I might have even nodded off to sleep, occasionally. In my defence, I did use to make concerted efforts to listen, and to actually be interested in his work. But, unfortunately, I would grow bored after having listened to him for about 10 minutes, which I think was because it was all very technical, and I just couldn't understand most of it.

However, I am sure that his engineering colleagues will have found his recollections quite fascinating. So basically, what I am trying to say, in admittedly a very cackhanded and boring way, is that what one person finds boring, can be very different to another person, who may delightedly find it very interesting!

Therefore, I can catagorically reiterate, that my finding some 'explanations or stories' from my DH to be uninteresting - through lack of my ability to understand them - doesn't mean that my DH is boring. In fact, in my eyes, he is usually very interesting, which I think is probably because we both love so many similar things. Listening to music, and passively reading, are two of our favourite ways of spending time together. We also both love picturesque scenery, and very importantly I think, we both have almost identical beliefs when it comes to Politics, and hating Trump!

Show quote history

My intention was not to suggest she’s boring at all. She has said herself her children are young, they have limited help, he has his interests and she argue the point that her husband commented on the lack of friends she has, even suggesting she reaches out to his friends wives.

I was hoping the message of putting herself first sometimes would be the big takeaway. She can’t do any of the things he’s suggested without him being prepared to take on the more mundane aspects of child rearing. So if he has his football she should take up something purely for herself & her wellbeing. Advice I’d give any person in a relationship with children or not. I don’t know what’s bought this up with the husband. Maybe he hasn’t articulated well a slow transition in his wife’s life. Maybe he misses her pre mom self. Which is wholly unreasonable of him. I don’t think he appreciates the freedom he has. I know a ton of women who wouldn’t allow him to swan off every other weekend all day, not for something he could easily do with the at least the 8 yo. I think he’s bored and he is blaming her. She can’t fix that for him but she can stop being so selfless and make herself happier.

I can be boring, we all can. Which is why I used my mate anecdotally, but my husbands mate is that boring. She says she gets a step by step run down of his working day & that she can’t veer the conversation away from it. The idea that she left someone because she was bored and blamed her husband for that boredom to find herself equally bored is the missing the point. They’re bored and it’s not up to your partner to entertain you & change that. If You’re bored then suggest something, be productive. If your partner is not receptive to trying new things & changing routines then maybe there is a problem. If I’m bored I suggest things to do. Fancy the cinema. Grabbing dinner, walk the dog via a pub or 2. He doesn’t appear to have done any of that & has blamed her because she hasn’t done it either which is wholly unfair

Sisublondie · 07/02/2026 11:18

ps- and this comes from a bloke who, pre DC, had a London football club season ticket, and who also went to “ local away games”..( Rotherham? Local to London? 🤷‍♀️) !!”.

I’m sending you huge positive vibes and 🤗. I’m so sorry your DH is a dick and he’s said spiteful hate that is out there, now. It can’t be taken back. You deserve to be happy and not mentally dragged down by such a gaslighting arse. 💖. Good Luck 🍀 x

NewDogOwner · 07/02/2026 11:18

He is inadvertently helping you out. This is your cue to start building a life without him.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 07/02/2026 11:19

You only need to read the thread title to know that your husband is cheating/looking for an excuse to cheat.

He is using the very things that make you a good partner: You work hard and bring in money, you are a good mum to belittle and reject you.

This man does not cherish you. Think on that.

andthat · 07/02/2026 11:19

Starzinsky · 06/02/2026 23:54

When was the last time you both went out together and had fun? It is tricky to find time to do things together with kids and work but it is something you have to put effort into to keep the spark. I think most of the responses have been very critical of you DH, but he has opened up, told you how he is feeling and only you will know if this is someone you want to work on/sort out to save your manage.

What absolute nonsense is this @Starzinsky?
If her husband had concerns that there wasn’t enough time for them as a couple in the midst
if raising a family, he wouldn’t be out every single Saturday to football and the pub. he’d be saying ‘I miss you, let’s try and find time to do something fun together’ not ‘you’re boring me’

Some people really do have a low bar.

Hesma · 07/02/2026 11:27

That was my life. 10 years ago when my ex was having an affair. Get rid and then you can have a social life eow when he has the kids.

NoisyViewer · 07/02/2026 11:30

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 07/02/2026 07:51

Hi NoisyViewer, sorry to pick you out, as you are not by any means, the only Mumsnetter to be seemingly agreeing with @Wowserbowser88's Husband, that her apparent lack of friends
is the reason she is boring! I actually agree with most of what you said, which is maybe why I wanted to quote your comment? I truly believe that whether someone has friends or not, will not have any bearing as to whether a person has any interests outside of either their home, or workplace, environment.

I have several issues with that type of thinking. The first one being that I doubt very much that the OP is boring, and yet too many PPs are giving replies that appear to be taking that part of her OP for granted! Another problem I have is more like a rhetorical question, it is "who can accurately judge whether a particular person is interesting or not?" An example of what I mean, is:

When my DH, (who was an engineer before he retired), used to give a monologue talk aout his job, he could keep that up for at least 20 minutes, and I hate to admit it, but I'm quite sure that my eyes must have sometimes glazed over, and I might have even nodded off to sleep, occasionally. In my defence, I did use to make concerted efforts to listen, and to actually be interested in his work. But, unfortunately, I would grow bored after having listened to him for about 10 minutes, which I think was because it was all very technical, and I just couldn't understand most of it.

However, I am sure that his engineering colleagues will have found his recollections quite fascinating. So basically, what I am trying to say, in admittedly a very cackhanded and boring way, is that what one person finds boring, can be very different to another person, who may delightedly find it very interesting!

Therefore, I can catagorically reiterate, that my finding some 'explanations or stories' from my DH to be uninteresting - through lack of my ability to understand them - doesn't mean that my DH is boring. In fact, in my eyes, he is usually very interesting, which I think is probably because we both love so many similar things. Listening to music, and passively reading, are two of our favourite ways of spending time together. We also both love picturesque scenery, and very importantly I think, we both have almost identical beliefs when it comes to Politics, and hating Trump!

Show quote history

My intention was not to suggest she’s boring at all. She has said herself her children are young, they have limited help, he has his interests and she didn’t argue the point that her husband commented on the lack of friends she has, even suggesting she reaches out to his friends wives.

I was hoping the message of putting herself first sometimes would be the big takeaway. She can’t do any of the things he’s suggested without him being prepared to take on the more mundane aspects of child rearing. So if he has his football she should take up something purely for herself & her wellbeing. Advice I’d give any person in a relationship with children or not. I don’t know what’s bought this up with the husband. Maybe he hasn’t articulated well a slow transition in his wife’s life. Maybe he misses her pre mom self. Which is wholly unreasonable of him. I don’t think he appreciates the freedom he has. I know a ton of women who wouldn’t allow him to swan off every other weekend all day, not for something he could easily do with the at least the 8 yo. I think he’s bored and he is blaming her. She can’t fix that for him but she can stop being so selfless and make herself happier. it will be of benefit if this is a precursor of their relationship breaking down. (Something I didn’t want to say in my original post) more than anything else.

I used my mate anecdotally. She was bored and blamed her ex for that. To be equally (argumentative more) more so now. I find her husband boring, he doesn’t have any other topic of conversation something my mate has said herself. She’s as much as I love her is also a boring person. But again it’s all subjective, I might be seen as tedious and equally boring to others, hence my point of not blaming others if you yourself are bored

SpringTimeIsRingTime · 07/02/2026 11:32

NoYourNameChanged · 07/02/2026 03:48

He either cheating already or has met someone else and wants to be, this is his way of rewriting history, of making out you had an unhappy marriage so when it ultimately blows up, he’s not the bad guy. Except, of course, he is. Silly prick. I wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to with such blatant contempt op, and nor should you. Sitting around his hotel room stewing about you not messaging the football wags (because he sounds sooo thrilling! Pub and football, revolutionary!) is such bullshit.

And the new younger woman will be told that his wife was abusive as well as boring and she will swallow the story hook, line and sinker.

Young women need to cop on instead of giving into vanity.
If a man is already married with young children and he is chatting you up, he's a stinker. Walk away quickly or he will be treating you the same callous way a few years down the line. Leopards don't change their spots.

Tonissister · 07/02/2026 11:32

I'd play him. Wow, DH, you are right! Thank you so much for giving me this nudge. I've signed up for course next Saturday all day, and I am out with work friends on Friday night and Sunday lunchtime.

He will need to look after DC or organise care for them, as you have been doing this all the time while he has day Saturdays off for footie.

Even if you just go for coffee and look around the shops, he doesn;t need to know. Don't let him treat you like the available childcare 24/7 while he has fun, and then dare to call you dull.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 07/02/2026 11:33

Get a babysitter so you can go out together ?

FateAmenableToChange · 07/02/2026 11:34

When you leave him go 50/50 with the kids and then youll have loads of time to live your own life, make friends and have hobbies. Heck even if he has them 2 weekends a month (as i suspect will be more likely) you'll have 2 wonderful weekends a month to do whatever you like. You can date men who are kind and thoughful towards you, imagine how nice that would be. Hope you move towards this sooner rather than later as living with this kind of abuse is very destructive to you.

ConcernedOfClapham · 07/02/2026 11:37

andthat · 06/02/2026 23:38

So you have a young family and he goes out of the house every Saturday for football and the pub?

Hes absolutely taking the piss. And then has the audacity to insult you?

What an absolute arsehole. If I were you and had the means to separate , he’d be out the door. He is staggeringly disrespectful and unkind.

🖕

This. You have married a spiteful, nasty, selfish man. I’m so sorry, OP, you deserve better. I hope you find it x

Nanny0gg · 07/02/2026 11:38

Starzinsky · 06/02/2026 23:54

When was the last time you both went out together and had fun? It is tricky to find time to do things together with kids and work but it is something you have to put effort into to keep the spark. I think most of the responses have been very critical of you DH, but he has opened up, told you how he is feeling and only you will know if this is someone you want to work on/sort out to save your manage.

He hasn't opened up about his feelings

He's turned around and blamed the OP

He's made no suggestions for fixing it or what he wants to do for his part, she's just 'boring'

Very constructive

Pedallleur · 07/02/2026 11:39

ByDreamyNavyDreamer · 06/02/2026 23:30

I would be looking for evidence he’s cheating. He’s looking for ways to blame you.

This. He is possibly looking elsewhere/dissatisfied with his lot. Start by blaming you. Do NOT consider any more children.
You need to take up a hobby/pastime and perhaps he can arrange days out for you all when not on call.

Absolutemelt · 07/02/2026 11:40

You are beautiful and perfect. Maybe not for him, but certainly for someone, I’m sorry you are going through this.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 07/02/2026 11:41

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 07/02/2026 11:33

Get a babysitter so you can go out together ?

Read her posts.

They have a date night the two of them once a month.

NoisyViewer · 07/02/2026 11:41

NoisyViewer · 07/02/2026 11:30

My intention was not to suggest she’s boring at all. She has said herself her children are young, they have limited help, he has his interests and she didn’t argue the point that her husband commented on the lack of friends she has, even suggesting she reaches out to his friends wives.

I was hoping the message of putting herself first sometimes would be the big takeaway. She can’t do any of the things he’s suggested without him being prepared to take on the more mundane aspects of child rearing. So if he has his football she should take up something purely for herself & her wellbeing. Advice I’d give any person in a relationship with children or not. I don’t know what’s bought this up with the husband. Maybe he hasn’t articulated well a slow transition in his wife’s life. Maybe he misses her pre mom self. Which is wholly unreasonable of him. I don’t think he appreciates the freedom he has. I know a ton of women who wouldn’t allow him to swan off every other weekend all day, not for something he could easily do with the at least the 8 yo. I think he’s bored and he is blaming her. She can’t fix that for him but she can stop being so selfless and make herself happier. it will be of benefit if this is a precursor of their relationship breaking down. (Something I didn’t want to say in my original post) more than anything else.

I used my mate anecdotally. She was bored and blamed her ex for that. To be equally (argumentative more) more so now. I find her husband boring, he doesn’t have any other topic of conversation something my mate has said herself. She’s as much as I love her is also a boring person. But again it’s all subjective, I might be seen as tedious and equally boring to others, hence my point of not blaming others if you yourself are bored

Show quote history

To add I much rather something positive came from his spiteful comments rather than she having lower self esteem