Step children and inheritance

[WineBeforeWhine]

I have two step children who were adults when I married their dad. We then had two children. My parents left me considerably more which went into the family pot while we were married. My husband died and I was left everything. I’m now having to redo my Will. My question is should all four children be treated equally or is reasonable to leave my own children a higher percentage of my estate something like 20% for the stepchildren and 30% mine? I’m struggling to get it right.

To be fair, most adults don’t leave their kids anything.

it’s usually left to a spouse, with kids only inheriting if the spouse predeceases.

my dad left me nothing of his (large) estate. It all went to my mum.

there are no guarantees. Even if you leave everything to your child’s other parent, no guarantee they won’t remarry. No guarantee everything won’t be eaten up in care home fees. No guarantee the child’s other parent won’t blow through the whole lot, like my mum did.

most people want their spouse taken care of. Most women don’t have great pensions and savings, and could be left homeless and skint if cut out of a will. Most trust their spouse to do the right thing.

Yup. I have first hand experience of this.

So did their dad have anything in the pot?
My DH died and there was nothing other than the equity in our house and life insurance. His kids got a share of the life insurance (as did his ex wife). So other than the equity, which was enough for me to buy a much smaller house outright (my kids were 4 & 6, the step kids were 19 & 21 at the time) there was only personal effects, and the most valuable being a car which I gave to eldest stepson.
I then inherited from my mother a few years later.
My stepsons are both married with children, one to a very well off family. In writing my will I feel no obligation to leave them anything - they got their inheritance and will inherit from their mother, who was a SAHM so all her wealth (she owns a house outright in London) was what she got in the divorce.
I think what you inherited from YOUR Parents should go to your children, and anything in the estate from your DH should then be shared equally between all the kids.

I decided on an 18/32 split in the end.

That’s good that you have made a decision. That seems like a good split. Will you let them all know?

Should they not just get 1/4 of that each seeing as he has 4 children.