Step children and inheritance

[WineBeforeWhine]

I have two step children who were adults when I married their dad. We then had two children. My parents left me considerably more which went into the family pot while we were married. My husband died and I was left everything. I’m now having to redo my Will. My question is should all four children be treated equally or is reasonable to leave my own children a higher percentage of my estate something like 20% for the stepchildren and 30% mine? I’m struggling to get it right.

You can't assume an inheritance from your SC's mother. Take that out of the equation. It seems fair to split your own inheritance between your kids, and then your and your husband's estate between all the kids.

I don’t want that, and thankfully neither do our children. My DH will die whilst I’m still in my 50s. If I want to sell up and sail around the world then that’s what I’ll be doing.

I agree you should be cautious of relying on the notion that they’ll have another parent to inherit from. I have a friend who was the stepchild in this situation - mum didn’t leave them with much because ‘well, they have their dad to inherit from’, then dad didn’t leave them with much because he’d effectively spent all his money while alive on his new wife and kids. Friend essentially ended up with diddly squat and it did leave a bad taste.

Not saying this is what you’re doing at all, you sound lovely and it’s wonderfully thoughtful that you’re thinking about how to treat your step DC fairly! Just using this an example of how things can go wrong. I personally would try to quantify yours and DH’s share of the pot and split DH’s share evenly between all. Xx

Op, any estate that belongs to your husband needs to be split equally amongst all 4 kids. Your own estate can be split equally amongst your own children only if you wish or You can leave what ever else you want to your step kids out of your own pot too. If however you are aware your late husband contributed greatly to the pot more then you did I would be fair and split the monies equally between all 4 kids.

This is complicated. I really don’t know how I’d do it. Although I’m quite lazy so I’d probably just go for the easiest way and split it four ways so the step-children don’t lose out in any way. I might make more gifts to my own children out of my own income/savings so pass down any “family” inheritance that had come to me whilst I was still alive.

i don’t have children but do have a step-child. My husband’s half of the house and half of all his savings/investments will go to my step-son. I’ve left everything in my will to my husband.

If my husband dies before me it’s likely I will then also leave all my estate to step-son.

If she's willed her entire estate to her new husband and excluded them then yes, she will have screwed them over just like their dad did. Hopefully she's a better parent.
You may be old enough to be their mother but are you the same age as their mother?
Fact is, if your husband hadn't willed you everything then his adult children would be inheriting now. Instead they may have to wait decades and that's dependent on you including them in the will and not spending all the money before you die.

I don’t even have a SC; my husband’s will leaves a life interest in our house to me, reverting to our son on my death or if I remarry. The bulk of the remaining estate including cash is left to our son. I would have the right to sell the house and buy a new property, again with a life interest with the benefit for my son. This is my mind is right and proper; I would want my money to go only to my child. DH is from a ‘Napoleonic law’ culture where children cannot be cut out of the wills.

Your half of the estate goes to your two children. The other half (your husband’s) is split between his four children.

OP, do what you feel is best.

What I don’t understand is why people are bringing up what the step kids will inherit from other people. What does that matter? Would their father have given them less because they were getting an inheritance from others? I shouldn’t think so. What each person leaves in a will should not taken into consideration what somebody might get from somebody else.

I would split it equally.
However why don't you talk to them about it?

I think seeing as you and your husband were married a long time, had joint finances and left everything to you when he died, you should probably split the pot equally between all the children. I know the step children might also inherit from their mother but equally they might not. You can only control what is yours to control and I think in your shoes I would treat them equally.

Whatever you decide OP please sit them down and explain the reasoning. you sound as though you are trying to be fair so I am sure they will accept your plans, but it is better they know now rather than reading it written coldly in your will.

You might also consider how the bequest will be worded in case one of them dies before you. Will you leave their share to their children, or to their sibling if they have no children, or will their share revert to the estate to be shared among the remaining sibling and your children, or just to your children.

Just to add, I haven't based my will on what the recipients have or are set to have/inherit from others.

OP, the original will holds a lot of logic with the % calculation. You’re actually being more generous to your step children and increasing their share potentially with this will review. Yet some posters can’t grasp this and actually giving you grief for this

Is there any sort of mirror will between your husband/his ex wife? We have these to prevent exactly this situation in the future.

Sorry not relevant to the post but your user name is brilliant!

Why would you change what he discussed and wanted? Sounds like you're making things overly complicated.

you can leave them whatever you like. But as others have said leave a letter or note with solicitors if they hold the Will as to how and why calculated like it is so that it is less challengeable. To be honest they are not "entitled" to anything but fairer to leave them something as Dad never sorted it.

I was thinking the same. Otherwise there could be some resentment.

Also, ensure that any heirlooms that belong to the adult children (ie, ornaments, artefacts, pictures etc) get passed to them, rather than put in the family pot. Similarly, precious stuff which was purchased since the marriage and belong to your children, gets passed to your children.

Sorry for your loss.

I have three adult stepchildren and one of my own. We have mirror wills leaving them 25% each. As a pp said your husband’s really screwed his first children over @WineBeforeWhine.

I would give your inhertance from your parents to your dc only, as your parents do not have relations with your step children. I would then decide depending how close you are how much (if at all) you want to give step children of your own money. And as for the dads, I would give them their fair share of course of what is left of what was his.

Do you get on with the stepchildren and if you hadn't had any children with your DH would you have left money to the stepchildren regardless? If so, upping your amounts to 30% to yours and 20% to the stepchildren seems fair to me if it's what you're thinking anyway. It's nice that you want to be fair with them all.

A's parents separate and each have another child.

Parent 1 & partner have £200k split equally between A and B
Parent 2 & partner have £200k split equally between A and C
A gets £200k
B gets £100k
C gets £100k

You think that's fair?

I think thats wrong

If op has brought in 1 million into the marriage and her husband had 100k.

The step children should be entitled to 12.5 of the whole estate.

I would work out how much your husband share was and then give 1/4 of that.

Or work that out as a current percentage of your assets.

So your husband assets were worth 10% of the total. They would get 2.5% of the total assets each.

In this case split it evenly.

DH had much more when I met him, we built a lot together but then I have a bigger pension and inheritance, all money joint. I have two children he has one. My ex is a wanker but a wealthy one but the elder one of mine has refused contact since aged 7 and the court took away his parental rights. This means youngest will inherit about a million plus. It is their choice what to do but we said don’t fall out over money. Sibling can’t expect money from father - as has no contact etc and no expectation on receiving it. If one inherited and the other didn’t I am 100% certain they would not fall out with each other. I’m likely to inherit again within ten years - and it will probably be a lot about 2 million - if I do get it - and again I won’t be disappointed if I don’t get it - we will split it 4 ways - 1/4 to each child and then 1/4 for us. Hopefully that then gets past to their children if and when they have it.

we have been very open an honest and said everything of ours goes 3 ways. I love his as much as mine even though I met him post 18 and his mum is not around. We discussed it with them and they were happy with a three way split. My husband’s adult child is likely to inherit from my husband’s parents and get everything although my mother in law said she has written my two into her will there is no expectation and that’s lovely of her. We are very open and honest about money.