Step children and inheritance

[WineBeforeWhine]

I have two step children who were adults when I married their dad. We then had two children. My parents left me considerably more which went into the family pot while we were married. My husband died and I was left everything. I’m now having to redo my Will. My question is should all four children be treated equally or is reasonable to leave my own children a higher percentage of my estate something like 20% for the stepchildren and 30% mine? I’m struggling to get it right.

Why? All 4 children were his.

I think you either ring fence the inheritance proportion for your own children assuming it wasn't spent on family holidays and the like. Or essentially divide the estate 50:50, with your own share going to your kids and his share going to all 4. If the inheritance has basically been spent I think this is likely fairest. I agree to give reasons for the split in the will as this will hopefully prevent any costly disputes between them down the line.

He left the house to his ex wife and we bought a house together. His kids are in my will, hence my post.

I’d hardly say he screwed them over. We always supported them through uni etc. I’m old enough to be their mother, their mother still being alive, has she screwed then over too?

I’m not leaving my SC out of an inheritance. It’s just judging how to do this fairly.

Of course, if I eventually have to go into a care home there may be nothing much left.

@WineBeforeWhine depends what’s in her will. If both their parents have left everything to their new spouses then SC were at risk of not inheriting anything and their half siblings getting everything

I suggest you speak to them all about what you are putting in your will and why so it’s not a surprise to them.

this is what should have happened

Yes they will inherit from their mum and her new husband

Only if they have changed their will.

Do you have any idea of the actual sum you inherited from your dh?

we keep our finances separate for this reason. My kids will inherit everything in my name, Dh’s kids will inherit everything in his name.

yes this means our joint kids will get more, but as pp have pointed out they will get their share of dads estate and their share of mums estate- if mum leaves it to them of course.

my will leaves everything to my kids, dh gets a life interest in the house and my pensions to live off.

dh leaves everything to me. Depending on how much there is (currently nothing) I will gift some to the kids straight away, the rest will be invested. I shouldn’t need it, but it’s there if I do. Then it will be left between his kids in my will.

Your husband has really screwed over his children from his first marriage.

I agree. What kind of father leaves his kids fuck all in his will?

Anyway - I'd leave it as it is now with most of your estate going to your kids and the remainder to the step kids. I wouldn't factor in their mum leaving them anyything - an inheritance is never guaranteed.

I would work out what their share of their dad's estate is and give it to them now.

More useful for them rather than waiting perhaps until they retire to inherit (I'm assuming you aren't that old) and then they don't need to be in your will - let them know that is the case.

You should take some legal advice on the correct way to do this but assuming you are young enough that is highly unlikely you need to be in care home or die in the next seven years, then it would be deprivation of assets and impact any future care home costs

The simplest and least contentious thing to do would be what several pp’s have already suggested which is your half of the estate is divided between all your joint kids and your husbands half of the estate is evenly divided between ALL his kids.

Depending how long you have known your step children and how close you are etc you could leave an extra amount to them from you. Say £5000 or £10,000 or whatever is suitable from your estate.

Adjusting the amounts for other reasons such as a previous inheritance would be more likely to cause upset. However if there are good reasons for it to be ‘unfairly’ divided such as one child having a disability that might mean they need more support in later life or something then make sure you detail why in the will.

I agree. What kind of father leaves his kids fuck all in his will?

It happens all the time, people forget that a new marriage changes the will, they hope the step parent will just do the right thing etc.

We have a similar situation, though my husband is still alive. But we've been doing the wills, and I have been struggling as feel like it sounds like our shared DC are favoured, but our financial advisor said to think of it as half each and split fairly between our own children. My DSC will inherit considerably from their mum, my son will only inherit from us. Now I have rounded up for the DSC so they also inherit something from 'my' half but my children won't inherit from their mum (and obviously shouldn't) so it wouldn't be fair to split equally. But we will be taking the kids through it so they understand. I would be heartbroken if they fell out over money when grieving.

I wouldn't factor in their mum leaving them anyything - an inheritance is never guaranteed.

I agree it’s weird to base what you will leave something based on what they may get.

That’s not o/p’s decision though.

if their mum doesn’t leave them anything, that’s on her.

it’s unlikely they’ll even know what’s in mums will so not something that can factor in.

@Usernamenotfound1 who said it was her decision?

it’s unlikely they’ll even know what’s in mums will so not something that can factor in

Which is why I said you can’t necessarily factor it in! 😆

If your husband had money or property he left you then I think all the children should be treated equally.

It won't be equal if the joint kids get the same as the two who also have another parent.

I agree with this. If you can afford it, I would give them a quarter of their dad's estate now (i.e an 8th of your total assets each). This would be fairest. If you can't afford it, an 8th in your will is fine.

This is how I would do it
37% each to your kids and his get 13% each

maybe her own kids could also deal with the money now though? why should only 2 our if his 4 kids get anything now.

I'd really caution about relying on what someone else might leave people. They could spend it all, have to surrender it to care fees, leave it to a charity or split it in any way they like. You just can't know.

This is the usual way of splitting things in blended families.
It assumes all assets were shared equally in the marriage so doesn't take account of your inheritance specifically.