Fussy eating 5 year old....at my wits end.

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

My 5yo is extremely fussy, the things she will eat are:
Chicken nuggets
Garlic bread
Sweetcorn
Broccoli
Strawberries
Oranges
Nutella sandwiches
Plain crackers
Pom bear crisps
Biscuits
Chocolate
Ice cream
Sweets.

That's it. Obviously there is no meal there whatsoever, she will eat chicken nuggets and sweetcorn/broccoli most nights. I've tried getting her to help me make stuff so she can be involved, she still will not even touch it let alone eat it. I have tried just giving her meals and making no comment but she will just kick off massively.

Tonight we had lasagne and I put about an inch long piece on her plate along with chips and garlic bread. She ate the middle out of the garlic bread and will not touch the rest. She has spent the last hour screaming because she's hungry and wants ice cream.

I just don't know what to do, surely I can't just give her chicken nuggets every single night?? But equally it's not like she'll eat if she's hungry, she just won't. Any advice welcome.

Have you tried giving her the stuff she eats then a small portion of whatever you are having?

Sorry OP, its really frustrating. Has she always been fussy?

Read "my child won't eat"

Is she a healthy weight?

It does say in the OP, with the lasagne.

What does she eat at school? Did she eat at nursery?

is it a texture thing? Can she verbalise why she won’t eat anything else?

My child was like this. The doctor said don’t worry give them a vitamin tablet. I tried all sorts until a horrible meal when they choked. After that I stopped trying to force anything. Very slowly over years they liked a wider range of foods and as an adult are very healthy eat a variety but like plain basic foods really. My advice see if they will drink milk and orange juice and don’t stress but let them try if they want to. Cereal is a life saver!

She has to have packed lunch at school, she only went to school nursery so didn't eat there. In her packed lunch she has crackers, pom bears, an orange, strawberries and biscuits.

She won't say why she won't eat, just that she "doesn't like it" she seems physically repulsed by anything out of her small range of foods and will cover her mouth and start shaking and crying at the mere suggestion she tries something (I've never force fed her or anything like that)

I agree do not force but also I would not be giving ice cream as the other option. So chicken nuggets and a bit of something different and if still hungry then an orange or plain biscuit if you must. I agree vitamins may be a good idea. It is very hard but keeping the sweet stuff for treats I feel is important.

Non judgemental, but how have you ended up here? What was she eating as you weaned her? When did she stop having veg?

Of course she will cry for icecream instead of real food if you give in and give her the rubbish stuff.

Absolutely she shouldn’t get the ice cream- I wonder if frozen full fat yoghurt might be a better compromise and at lease you’re getting some nutritional calories in.

Actually sounds like she might need some outside help with this though, it sounds a bit more serious than just fussiness.

She's at the very bottom end of "normal", I don't think it would take much to tip her in to being underweight.

A lot of kids just have a resistance to trying anything due to texture and/or taste. A lot of adults feel the same. All you can do is persevere but don't make it a massive battleground. My daughter strongly prefers things that aren't going to give her any surprises and at one point would have lived on toast. We've persevered and have got her eating a much wider variety, although still nowhere near where she was as a toddler, when she ate anything and everything - and then suddenly the types of food she would eat got less and less. It happens and it's not necessarily anything you've done or haven't done.

If she's anything like my daughter, he next couple of years will be a bit tough but then she will be more interested in trying what she helps to make and more interested in bribery 😅

It just happened slowly, she ate absolutely everything as a baby/toddler and then it just slowly started with her refusing to eat one thing, then another, then another.

I can tell you how it went for my kids at this age, I'll use my 7 yr old as an example. He was BLW onto everything. Started with protein and veg, ate everything, at a year old age curries, homemade soups, homemade chilli etc, first he refused all meat then he refused veg, I'd give him his meal, he wouldn't eat those bits. I added nothing else, he had no processed foods. Then around 2 he was unwell a lot. Growing well, normal weight but had febrile seizures and they became worse and more frequent. He had bloods in hospital and was anaemic and the doctor asked if he ate any meat and I said no and she said 'not even nuggest or fish fingers?' but I'd never given him such things. I was lectured on the importance of iron (despite him having fortified cereals, legumes etc and eating these well iron needs are high) and we were under paeds and neurology and turns out they need to eat even if the food isn't ideal and fed is best. So he had fish fingers, chicken nuggets, turkey drummers. Anaemia sorted. Doctors delighted. He is ASD/ADHD and very intelligent and we'vekept always offering him other food. Tonight he had homemade pasta Bolognese with peas and sweetcorn, he's almost 8 and is coming out the other side! My now 4 yr old is a nightmare and we're just powering through doing the same, feeding her what she'll eat and exposing to other foods. Hoping she improves too.

Whatever is going on you need to get rid of all the junk and if that means making your own chicken nuggets and making that with corn and broccoli multiple times a week

but cut the Nutella, garlic bread ( unless you make your own? ) crisps, crackers , ice cream etc etc

and if she starts to lose weight see the doctor but she probably will be fine

she has got the taste for the addictive stuff and you need to weans her off it somehow before you can start to build a better diet

I suspect you got here because she saw your weakness - you have her something nice if she didn’t like the boring stuff

You could try putting the accepted list into AI and seeing if it can suggest any foods to try adding in.

Ask doctor to look into ARFID I only got diagnosed as an adult.

That’s not an awful list, it’s just limited because none of it really constitutes a meal. I would just do her “picky plates” with food that she will eat and add something off your plate every time.

There are quite a few things in that list that are fine OP . Don’t beat yourself up , this thread will be full of people who have been there soon enough . In reality she is eating and that’s the priority . Get the best quality nuggets you can and keep a ready supply of the fruit and veg she will eat . The only thing I think you should limit is the sweets biscuits and ice cream .

Other than that carry on making sure she is fed and give the tiniest taste of bits off your own plate to try . Take the battle away . My DS2 at 15 is still very restricted , but I have no fear of him being malnourished and what he will eat now is a much longer list than at 5 .

Most toddlers go through a stage of restricting what they eat.

some kids take a lot longer to then expand what they eat afterwards,

it’s actually a reasonable list. There’s healthy things in there.

start buying a kids multivitamin. You can get ones that are like chewable gummies. Then that helps with nutrition.

re expanding palate - all the suggestions do work they just take a long time.
we had quite a lot of success with deconstructed meals - so eg chicken nuggets and then lots of raw veg and fruit that everyone chose from plus a carb.

maybe start with different kinds of bread?

it took years with my son but we got there.

That’s not a bad list compared with lots of extreme food refusers. It’s all about calories and concentrating on what she will eat. Please don’t stop giving her any foods that she will eat. There is a chance she could exclude an item from her list overnight.
Is she brand or texture specific? Does she prefer eating from a particular plate or cup?
Strawberries is a strange one as usually restricted eating is about consistency, no surprises.
Look at ARFID strategies and any advice or books by Dr Gillian Harris and Dr Liz Shea.
Best advice is try not to let her see that you are stressed by it.

It’s difficult for you to know whether she has something like ARFID/ND or is simply tantrumming because she wants icecream as it’s nicer, or anything in between. Working that out would be a starting point of how to help.

there’s some good stuff she’s eating in there.

i think I would make my own chicken nuggets as there’s so much info out there about the (lack of ) quality of the chicken, and that’s before you get in to the fact that even that is only 50%, the other 50% is junk.

and if she’s hungry, absolutely no to icecream, but yes to one of her better foods that she will eat.

This sounds like a normal experience for many. I was INCREDIBLY fussy as a child. Certain tastes/textures would actually make me retch. As I grew older my tastebuds and tolerance changed and now I eat most foods and will try anything. I also have late diagnosed ADHD which answered some food focused questions for me. I also remember being forced to eat and punished if I wasn’t.

My daughters (teens, now 13 & 15) ate everything when being weaned, went through a stage of refusing most things from about 4-10yo so dinner times were hard (it also coincides with that age of wanting their own autonomy and learning they can say yes/no), and are now coming out of the other side and trying new things. One is autistic, so textures, tastes and familiarities are important, as well as a fixation on the same thing for ages which then becomes intolerable. (I did the same growing up, and even so now). I never force them to eat, but encourage them to try. I serve normal dinner from serving plates on the dining table. Without cooking excessive different meals, I make sure that there are items I know they’ll eat, and I hope they’ll try others. When their friends are there, they’re likely to try if their peers are.

I also heard that our tastebuds continue to change and develop until our 20s, so when my kids say they really don’t like something, I just remind myself they just haven’t grown into their tastebuds yet.

Anyhow, no real advice, but unless she’s appearing malnourished or lacking in vitamins, keep feeding her as much as you can that she likes and slowly introduce new foods alongside. This is a very normal phase for many children.

Indeed

I have a fussy eater. He eats cereal, toast and chips.
He is 20 and absolutely fine.

I’ve got one of these. Won’t eat if he doesn’t like it to the point he would rather starve. We were under the dieticians at one point.
Some things that have helped.
I don’t make mixed up meals such as lasagna, everything separate.
He has always had school dinners.
Try different types of bread. A favourite in our house is toasted doughnuts (bagels)
Novelty presentation such as fruit on skewers or fried quails eggs (they look like haribo sweets)
Lots of baking and helping with food.
Mine like K-pop demon hunters so we tried some Korean food. Some they didn’t like but some they do.
Takes ages and progress is slow but now he eats quite a decent range of food

If you suspect she's autistic then maybe look into the arfid thing. If you don't then I'd maybe try letting her be hungry for a while. No comment on her food, just serve up meals and appropriate snacks when you normally would. None of that junk and then see what happens. I'd be kind and not whip out crazy foods but simple basic ones.

Most 5yo would refuse dinner if they know there mum will just give ice cream instead. Mine has dinners he doesn't love but will eat. He'll say he's finished after a little bit but if there's no pudding he will ask for more dinner.