Fussy eating 5 year old....at my wits end.

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

My 5yo is extremely fussy, the things she will eat are:
Chicken nuggets
Garlic bread
Sweetcorn
Broccoli
Strawberries
Oranges
Nutella sandwiches
Plain crackers
Pom bear crisps
Biscuits
Chocolate
Ice cream
Sweets.

That's it. Obviously there is no meal there whatsoever, she will eat chicken nuggets and sweetcorn/broccoli most nights. I've tried getting her to help me make stuff so she can be involved, she still will not even touch it let alone eat it. I have tried just giving her meals and making no comment but she will just kick off massively.

Tonight we had lasagne and I put about an inch long piece on her plate along with chips and garlic bread. She ate the middle out of the garlic bread and will not touch the rest. She has spent the last hour screaming because she's hungry and wants ice cream.

I just don't know what to do, surely I can't just give her chicken nuggets every single night?? But equally it's not like she'll eat if she's hungry, she just won't. Any advice welcome.

I didn't give in to the ice cream, she had some strawberries before bed but that was it. I know what you're saying and agree to an extent but if I'd provided her with a plate full of nuggets she would have eaten it perfectly fine and not just screamed for ice cream.

I think you need a reset. Is there any way you can start taking her to get grandparents for dinner or a weekend holiday where the food is "different" there?

Seemed to work surprisingly well for my fussy niece.

That's codswallop.

Kids arent mini adults. They take time to develop their palate and enjoy a wide range of foods. I was quite limited in what I liked until I was an older child.

The worst thing you can do is turn it into a battle of wills. My mum made me eat apples. I didnt like them. I liked strawberries and I liked pears. She knew this and insisted on fucking apples every day. I was not allowed to leave the table until I ate it.

The only thing that was different was behaviour, i would not have thrown a screaming tantrum so I choked some of it down. I still cant eat apples now.

Ditto Turkey. I didnt like it. Dry and strong flavour. Mum pretended it was chicken and made eat it. I still cant eat turkey.

Its a bit of a reach to say a child who wont eat certain foods will grow into an adult who wont do anything they dont want to do.

An adult can just eat ice cream for dinner if they want.

Just gentle encouragement to try other things and let her eat what she will eat for now.

What’s wrong with a plate full of chicken nuggets? If you know she’d eat it, I don’t see the problem in giving it to her most days.

Lasagna was always going to be unlikely to get eaten as there’s several different flavours and textures to deal with. Plain pasta with tomatoes and broccoli all served in separate bowls has a better chance of her trying to eat it.

I'm sorry but I didn't say sit her at the table and force the Lasagna in her mouth? I said offer what she eats alongside a meal but don't give her treats when she says she's hungry but refusing to eat food that is on offer. I've even suggested putting out an evening snack plate so she's not going to bed hungry but also not getting special treatment for refusing to eat.

I have a fussy 5 yo who also has a lot of food allergies so it's difficult to feed her.

At her most extreme her diet drops to pasta, chickpeas, frozen peas, olive oil, porridge, water biscuits, and grapes. This is her most safe list.

Her safe list is
Chicken, pork, chickpeas
Frozen peas, broad beans (if shelled), carrots (raw or lightly steamed), spinach (uncooked), sweetcorn, cucumber, broccoli (green tenderstem only)
Pasta, rice, noodles
Apples, cucumber, oranges, grapes
Porridge, toast, Weetabix, rice Krispies
Bread sticks, water biscuits, crackers

Never likes
Mushrooms, parsnips, turkey leg meat, butternut squash, sweet potato

She still has 3 Easter eggs left from Easter, a sweet cone from a birthday party in December and Christmas sweets haven't been opened.

Pick your battles, pay attention to good days /bad days. On good days try to push and encourage comfort zones to stretch a little on bad days stick with reliable foods. We go back to the most safe list when we need and then start trying to get some more of the safe list in. If we do that we look at getting other things similar to the safe list to add more. At 3.5 - 4 we spent more time in the "most safe" space but now at 5.5 we spend more time in "safe zone"

Sauce and gravy is a bit hit and miss. We have a small milk jug and we put her sauce and gravy in that and she has a choice about how much she puts on. Arrange at the table meals work well. We do noodle broths. We dish up noodles and meat and she adds the broth and finely baton veg

We are under paeds and dieticians and some times she grows regardless other times her growth stalls. It's stalled at the moment and she's gained 1kg in 18 months and dropped nearly 2 percentiles. At the moment volume of food is a bigger issue than range of foods. I tried adding chocolate spread and peanut butter to her crackers to up the calories but she took a small bite and didn't touch the rest. She has this multivitamin as well as an omega 3 gummy (no fish due to allergies)

No reading comprehension ability there

I was talking about my mother.

The bit you said that was absolute nonsense.Was if you don't encourage children to try other foods, they turn into adults who won't do anything they don't want to do
That's not true. I'm an outstanding member of society. Thank you very much for the job in a top profession. Just because I defied my mother a few times with food.Doesn't mean I turned into an unruly adult

So many adults lack basic reading comprehension skills, and your post is proof of that.

I suggested using Ai up thread so just to repeat that really, having read your updates op. I know my sil found AI quite helpful for her son who has Arfid and some of the suggestions have been successful in adding safe foods here will eat.

This is terrible advice, obviously given by someone who has not death with food refusal to this extent. OP: fed is best. Your child needs to have all of the basic food groups, on a regular basis. If the protein needs to be from chicken nugget because that is all they will countenance, then it’s chicken nuggets. You could try homemade but they likely won’t eat them. Your child does like fruits and veg so obviously that’s great and keep
offering those. At one point my child would only eat: Heinz tomato soup, tomato pasta, beef steak and raspberries!!! Well that just had to be the main meal as I worked to make other foods more tempting and she did eventually widen her repertoire and is a healthy, active child.

I’m glad you’re starting to get some good advice.

The main thing is she eats without tears and without fuss, she also needs to feel listened to.

she won’t understand why she can’t have the nuggets. My sister used to say it would be like giving us a plate of insects for her to have to eat stuff like lasagne.

There are a few different vegetables and fruits on the list so that’s a start. I’d give her those every day and plenty of them, with some chicken nuggets.

Will she eat decent quality chicken nuggets (so those “goujon” type things) or home made chicken in breadcrumbs?

Will she eat something like toast alongside?

Id avoid the “treat” foods as much as possible and just give her the healthier things she will eat, carrying on doing what you did with the lasagne (even though it didn’t work on that occasion) and giving her a bit of what you’re having alongside.

It is tough though!

Sorry did I say cut the fruit and veg and nuggets? Because I think I was trying to say that’s what should be kept ?

NHS dietitian recommended adding cream, custard, ice cream, evaporated milk to fruit to increase calories for fussy DC. Savoury equivalents for vegetables. So filling up with low calorie fruit and vegetables not necessarily a good idea.

They also told us to give a supplement containing iron and zinc.

My almost 17 year old is like this..eats very basic foods..has been to see drs,consultants and she's on the verge of underweight but they've all said she's fine let her eat the foods she wants..they said at these ages they can get away with it,she takes multivitamins and her bloods are perfect,she's pale looking but healthy,eats no veg,small bit of fruit,had last check up in November with bloods and totally fine..she was great when little would eat everything but as she got to about 5 it all stopped,I honestly wouldn't worry and just give your daughter the foods she likes x

I had a very fussy eater and it is extremely difficult to deal with every single mealtime. How would she react to a small meatball with a tomato based sauce containing puréed vegetables? What about defrosted frozen peas as a snack? Small bites of things at frequent intervals. Does she like cheese, cocktail sausages, pasta with sauce? Keep trying, at least she will eat 2 vegetables and 2 fruits so far, just keep going, you will get there.

I'd be wary as it sounds a bit like ARFID to me. Forcing isn't the way forward.

In my professional life I come into contact with kids with ARFID - food touching unsafe things can be an issue so i'd consider giving the "safe" picky plate separately from a small portion of family food. Frustrating though it is just offer family food and if it gets rejected accept that.

I was terrible as a child and only really ate freezer food (nuggets/ sausages/ horrible little cheap pizzas/ chips/ waffles). I was always better than my brother in that I would eat peas, sweetcorn and baked beans. My brother once spectacularily vomited forced lentil soup all over the dining table (again a texture trigger. All soup has to be blended within an inch of it's life).

I remember my first bacon sandwich being a huge eating triumph.

My Mum was a terrible cook and her regular meals (casseroles, chops etc) weren't very appetising and the veg was always really over cooked. She also made endless boiled potatoes which even as an adult I dislike. I do like mash but this was never offered.

Anyway, things got better as I got older and most people now probabaly don't pick up that I'm fussy with food especially as I meal plan for myself most of the time! Texture is still a bit of a trigger - I really don't like uncooked tomatoes (e.g in sandwiches/ salads) and I find lots of fruits tricky - but I do eat apples (have to be cut into segments), prepared pineapple and all berries. Even now I occasionally find myself gagging on something perfectly normal.

My brother is still pretty restricted - steak and chips, curry, thai and chinese are safe options when eating out with him. He doesn't even really like pizza but will force it down if required socially, but with family he would rather donate a kidney than meet at a pizza restaurant. Soupwise he still only eats Heinz tomato soup. (For clarification he is now an adult with a responsible job).

I'm overweight as an adult. Probably because so many of my "safe" foods are bland and carb heavy, but I do really really try now to eat better.

She won't eat anything with any kind of sauce, she also won't eat any meat (other than nuggets of course) or pasta and she won't eat peas either. She really is very restricted on what she will eat/try.

Thank you for everyone's comments, there are some really helpful suggestions, I'm going to contact the school nurse to start with. I've just been giving her what she'll eat for the last couple of days and it's making for much less stressful mealtimes if nothing else!

I’m glad you’re feeling better about it.

It’s like breastfeeding, you can’t tell the kids that have been!

I promise in years to come when she’s ordering a steak you will look back on these days and wonder what you worried about! I have friends that ate everything as a child and now only eat particular chicken from Iceland!

This isn’t a reflection on you. You’re seeking help and that’s all you can do xx

Are bread and toast also rejected? Do you think she would try a small amount of something from a parent's plate? Don't forget that it takes five tries to know if something tastes good or not. I agree with the others that ice cream as a substitute isn't a good idea, it should be a treat and dessert is allowed if the main meal is eaten. Good luck, I am sure that given time this will resolve.

She'll eat plain white bread (no butter) but not toast. I definitely don't give ice cream as an alternative, it just so happened that's what she wanted in that particular moment.

Try a bit of beetroot in mash - pink mash. Sweetcorn is another colourful food little ones tend to like. Pretty up the plate a bit and see what reaction you get. Yoghurt rather than ice-cream. Don't make a big thing of it and don't be manipulated into dishing out the biscuits

My daughter is nearly 7 and her list is only a bit longer than what your daughter eats. I'm grateful she will eat greek yoghurt, a lot of fruits and porridge, plain pasta and rice. She won't eat any meat, fish or cheese and the only veg she will eat is carrots. I've decided to feed her what she will eat, praise her for trying new things and eventually her taste will broaden. Multivitamin and iron gummies every day. I refuse to let eating be stressful.

Well done for not giving in over ice cream. Continue doing what you can. Sometimes fussy eaters will try things in other homes or other environments, has this ever happened? My daughter would eat platefuls of food at grandma's house, it was extremely stressful. I had to resort to making pictures on plates at times. What should be a scene of relaxation and enjoyment soon turns into a nightmare so try not to feel like it is personal even though it is very stressful.

No unfortunately she seems to become even more restricted when she's out of the house, mostly choosing to eat nothing at all.