My boyfriend and I have been absolutely fine and happy for a year and a half.
He cheated on me last November by kissing someone else. It broke me. When I found out he completely tried to turn it around on me accused me of possibly speaking to another guy. There has been times he seems very jealous but then he back tracks on it. So if I go out with friends he messages me through out the evening and then has before asked me if I pulled!? He’s also been funny with me about my male gardener who he says in the past and before his cheating he thinks I fancy or I flirt with him, there isn’t we just get on.
I don’t need relationship advice I think I know what I need to do (leave) I just need advice on whether I’m going crazy or not or this is actually how I am seeing it.
So for example….
My boyfriend was working yesterday and I was off for the day. Yesterday the gardener came at 9am for his regular maintenance in garden, I said hi made him a tea and then went to my friends house for a coffee at 9.30 and was there until 12, she doesn’t have good signal in her area, so couldn’t message bf in that time. I went home briefly, I messaged my bf in reply to his message asking how my day was at 12.20 and then I accidentally (and it really was an accident) left my phone at home while I quickly went to Costa to get myself some lunch (I don’t do this often just a treat as I was off for the day) When I got home I had a few messages from bf so I called him. He was fine but a little off with me, he then mentioned he had been in the area of the house in the afternoon but couldn’t let me know because I hadn’t responded to his messages, it was a random statement. He then questioned me about the gardener and it felt a bit off but then he changed the subject so I assumed he accepted what I had said. Later on I messaged him and said do you believe me about the gardener situation and he replied saying
“No I don't believe you but it's fine xxxxx
All morning I didn't hear from you from when he got to yours that’s suspicious xxxxx”
I replied saying I was at my friends house in the morning and didn’t have signal and then I went to Costa and left my phone at home. He said
“You were definitely shady today xxxxx you never forget your phone.”
I replied saying I did forget my phone. And I wasn’t being shady.
He said “It’s fine just be honest xxxxxxx I wont be bothered xxxxxx”
I replied saying I was being honest and then I sent him my driving app map as it shows where I’ve been in the day so showed that I had been at my friends in the morning. And I showed messages from someone I had bumped into at Costa as well.
Then out of no where he then says “I was only joking with you. I believe you. Just messing with you”
Now little things like this happen often where he back tracks but I don’t believe he was actually joking in this moment. I think he fully was trying to get me to admit something and didn’t believe me. And then when I provided proof he then backtracked so he didn’t look jealous!? Am I reading into this? Or was he actually joking!?
It’s little things like this happening often that are starting to make me feel a bit crazy. I know it’s only a small scenario but it’s often things like this happen and it makes me feel horrible being accused of things I haven’t done.