AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

I’m on the waiting list for the ASD assessment so that’s still going.

the neuropsychological assessment is separate matter that I would have to pay privately (and happy to!)

The gifted term is clearly almost a cultural thing.

I don't speak British English (and probably never will) I’ll always call pants pants and cookies cookies.

Because that’s inherent to who I am.

Also the perceived arrogance doesn’t really hurt anyone but in any case myself, and I don’t care.

Also I don’t go and just randomly say “hey I’m Sarah, I’m gifted”.

the boring people I’ve tried and thanks but not no thanks.

The term "gifted" has gone out of fashion in the UK these days. It was commonly used when my dd was at school, but nowadays schools tend to talk about "higher learning potential" instead. There is also a much greater recognition that learning potential is fluid and context-dependent. It really isn't as simple as a binary choice between "gifted" and "not gifted", and certainly can't be reduced to IQ tests, which are inherently flawed in any case.

I'm somewhat curious as to why this particular aspect of who you are seems so central to your identity when you say that you aren't struggling in any way. I know a lot of incredibly intelligent people, and I find that unusual. Most of the highly intelligent people I know fall into two camps - grateful for their intelligence but overall not that focused on it or struggling socially and therefore very fixated on it. Not struggling but still fixated is not something that I have encountered much.

I have a stupidly high IQ. Combined with adhd so "twice exceptional" if you like that term. I certainly don't believe that having a high IQ defines who I am, or that it makes it difficult for me to enjoy the company of people who might have a somewhat lower IQ than mine. I don't measure the value of those around me in terms of their ability to perform well on a pretty random selection of tests. I'm much more interested in who they are, what makes them tick, how they feel about stuff etc.

I'm grateful for having a brain that is good at many things, but I don't feel any need to analyse how it works - I already know how it works because I've lived with it for years. It is a part of my identity, for sure, but only a small part.

I rather suspect that you might be struggling more than you are willing to admit, perhaps even to yourself. I can't really understand why else you would feel the need to go through a load of unspecified "tests" just to understand yourself. I would encourage you to pursue the ASD diagnosis. I would also encourage you to spend some time reflecting deeply on what you really want to get out of all of this. What will "understanding how your brain processes stuff" actually do for you? How will that help you, and how will your life be different as a result?

But you're gifted. You could do the tests and interpret the results, no? With the correct information to do so?

But you don't want to do it this way, because you want someone to validate your own opinion.

Brilliant post @ApolloCVermouth

I'm sorry it's been treated with such dismissal by the OP.

@Maybeasd it's difficult to learn and understand deeply when self-regard gets in the way. A little humility - as in being open to ideas you don't immediately agree with - would help you.

I've learned in my life that when I dismiss something immediately out of hand (eg. talking to 'boring' people), I'm actually overreacting to something I'm bothered about.

Anyway, you've had a thread of really helpful well-meaning and thoughtful posts. You haven't once thanked any PPs, nor engaged in a discussion.

Underneath it all, you seem very unhappy and clinging to your supposed "intelligence" like a life raft.

Just breathe ...

This! I have an iq of 126 which is inferior to so many of the people on this thread, and means Mensa wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire 🤣 but I'm autistic and my joy is learning!

Gosh, so many genuises on this thread.

Oh, I know @RampantIvy although none of us is as geniusistic as the OP. I've never been a member of MENSA though, nor am I ND - just very boringly a clever grafter. I'm small fry in comparison to the OP.

I think the OP should read Helen Lewis' Genius. Lewis outlines the conditions for the kind of Nobel prize winning that maybe the OP thinks she wants. It's not all down to IQ or MENSA membership, you'll be shocked to hear!

Only one claiming to be a genius. The rest of us are just acknowledging that we have a particular type of intelligence and have cracked on with the rest of our lives.

Maybe that makes us the true geniuses..geniusi? 🤔

genii...God I am just so smart.

You had better get someone to explain how your brain works then as you are so super special.

Hyper special, please.

Soz, my bad.

I thought that was the plural of genie rather than genius.

One of us is less smart than we thought...

The only way I've seen 'genii' used is in the Brontë siblings' juvenilia - there's a whole mythology they create around The Genii.

There's a lovely children's book, where a young boy finds one of the toy soldiers that the Brontë children owned, and the soldier comes to life etc etc etc.

Ooh, interesting call. Seems geniuses is more common but genii is an acceptable alternative. However, there is one person who should be able to tell us, isn't there...

I may have to relegate myself to merely ubersmart.

OP studied linguistics 😀

Seems genius comes from the latin (look, I'm just looking this stuff up), and latin words ending in -us would normally pluralise to -i, so it seems that has validity.

I'll stop derailing here.

The nhs is not going to pay for someone’s curiosity. If you want to explore your personal psychology then you need to pay privately, I’m sure there is someone out there. No country’s healthcare pays for this sort of thing,

Don't forget the reg. plate of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - GEN 11 after the two Potts inventors!

Having a high IQ doesn't necessarily equate to a genius in my view. I was a very low achiever and was viewed almost as a delinquent by some teachers. I only did the Mensa test to prove to myself that I wasn't stupid, and nobody has ever been impressed by it. I've still never amounted to anything, have done nothing I or anyone else would class as brilliant, and consider myself a complete waster. We're not all full of ourselves!

It's getting the balance I think.

You can be incredibly smart or excel in some way but if you can't apply it to something useful for your own life, it feels like it's useless.

Mine comes out when we watch quiz shows or at work when someone's explaining a process that needs reviewing or a new function and I can immediately see flaws or places to improve it or downstream impacts.

The quiz show thing isn't much use in the grand scheme of my life but the ability to essentially "pick holes" has been good for my career. Once I learned how to do it in a positive way anyway.

🤣

I'll bet you're a bloody sight more fun to be with than most people with an IQ of 150.

How very dare you!

That's really interesting @IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos

I'm not ND in any way (apart from the internet making me ADHD ) and I've always been academically talented. My talent is bringing things together, seeing connections and combinations, rather than "picking holes." I like seeing how things fit together, which is wjat I do in my work/vocation (humanities professor).

And I'm resolutely average to below-average in pub quizzes.

Only she doesn't have to pay at all. I'm getting fed physical and behavioural psychological amd neurological research abstracts down to molecular level on a daily basis. If I went looking I could find even more.

I understand the latest research about my ADHD, my husband's ASD and when we got sick I researched my husband's epilepsy, my own rheumatoid arthritis and vasculitis. I've put myself in remission with a non-prescription drug combination that I've been able to show my doctors the clinical research to show how each drug works, that they are unaware of.

It's all online if you're curious enough and intelligent enough to understand what you're reading and follow the right leads. The Web is an absolute treasure trove for people like the OP and me and there are so many of us!

I have absolutely no idea why you find the working of your particular brain so fascinating. What realistically do you want and think you can gain from such introspection?