She’s wrecking marriages and not sure what I can do

[ThatCosyMintWriter]

what would you do?
A very distant friend of mine has split from her husband after 30yrs marriage.
She is now sleeping with any man she can get her hands on. Including married ones.
I am not aware of the males names as I would be inclined to inform their wives.
Her behaviour is simply disgusting and the fact she is doing this to fellow females angers me immensely!
should I just mind my own business?
I am not close enough friend to try and reason with her. What else can I do???

I don’t see what it has to do with you that someone you barely know is sleeping with people you don’t know at all.

If she’s a very distant friend then why do you even care? How is this personally affecting your life?

Unfortunately, and we all know, people cheat. Yes it’s disgusting but there’s nothing you can physically do to stop it.

Put your energy into better things.

Your friend and the men she sleeps with will reap what they sow.

Sounds like the friendship isn’t that deep so I wouldn’t be giving it headspace. I’d just quietly cut her off, but I guess if it’s not a close friendship she might not realise you’re cutting her off anyway….

Not your circus: not your monkeys.
stay out of it unless you can keep yourself anonymous. You will lose this friendship telling wives and they will shoot the messenger too. Is this really the hill u want to die on?

How do you even know this, if she is such a distant friend? Is it via other people gossiping?

She's not cheating they are.

It's the married person who made the vow and owes their spouse loyalty.

Hard to offer a better response than this.

She’s not forcing them to stick it in. Stay out of it

She's not the one wrecking marriages, the husbands are worse...way worse.

She could become an affair vigilante.
Hang around pubs, car parks etc waiting to spot obvious unmarried canoodlers.
Follow one home.
Send anonymous letter to inform spouse.

I am not close enough friend to try and reason with her. What else can I do???

Well nothing. If you can't talk to her then there is nothing you can do..
@ThatCosyMintWriter why do you feel it's up to you to do anything about this?

Exactly. The sisterhood or girlcode would stop most of us being with a man we knew was cheating on his wife. Definitely not defending the men-they are just as bad, but it is not anti-feminism to be worried about her behaviour. And she's putting herself at risk. As others said, you can't control her, but if you are genuinely worried and she's never been like this, you could suggest she sees a therapist.

You can't do anything to stop it. Those men are choosing to shag her, it's on them. They choose whether to cheat or not. There will always be someone they can shag if they want to. And you can't start getting involved in strangers' lives.

You can tell her you aren't prepared to listen to her talk about it or you can end the friendship. You can control what you choose to be to her and that's it.

If she's never been like this before and she's a good person, you may decide to tell her you're there for her when she regains her senses and stops; she might be having a mental health episode as a result of her split and she may find it easier to stop if she knows she'll have support. You know her, so you decide.

Oh wait, sorry. You don't know her well enough to have even that conversation with her? Then yeah, nothing you can do about the person you barely know shagging people you don't know at all.

I missed the distant friend bit ,as others have said forget about it .If it was a close friend that perhaps would be different.
Also if you're getting info second hand you may fuck up big time by telling a wife when there's nothing to tell

I’d probably stay well clear of her and tell her why, really.

She’s probably acting out due to any number of reasons, but yeah that’s grim (and so are the men, obviously).

Pretty sure it's the men who are ruining their marriages!

Well you don’t really know her so……..

I let a close friendship go for exactly the same behaviour (albeit after 10 years of marriage). I didn’t care who she shagged except when she actively pursued married men, especially ones she worked with. It was like she was on a mission to prove she could have any man she wanted - potentially understandable as she felt very rejected as her husband left her but going after someone in a relationship, was totally against everything I stand for.

Arguably all the men could have said no, and quite a few did, but disappointedly (if not surprisingly) many took her up on her offer. Horrible all round & I backed off significantly as I couldn’t condone her actions.

I know someone who did that. Had sex with her family friend and manager's husband. Had an affair with a married man. Met in hotels for sex with randoms. Sex with work colleagues...

She told me herself. She loved every minute of it. Not a thing I could do about it.

Referring to women as “females” always makes me think of the Ferangi from Star Trek. Horribly misogynistic way to speak about women.

Your friends actions are none of your business and nothing you can do anyway. Leave it alone.

You don’t have to listen to her stories of her sex life, but no I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Females? Are you the dad from friday night dinner?

You could try denouncing her on the village green, or better still have her clapped in the stocks for a bit. Or, and I realise this is an unattractive option, you could just neb out.

Lucky lady. IME, recent widows tend to be shunned and not invited any more. And frankly, if this woman is in her fifties, as seems likely after a 30-year marriage, I can’t really see her being in massive demand. Are you perhaps imagining some of this?