To think parents en masse should have tried to hold the line and not give under-16s social media?

[Carla786]

I'm Gen Z and was not allowed a smartphone until I was 16 (primarily because my mother was worried her estranged & abusive ex would use it to stalk me) I was furious with her about this for ages & it did cause some difficulties but ultimately I'm grateful I didn't have one. A lot of drama & upset at my school seemed to be fuelled by WhatsApp, among other issues I've seen SM cause among my friends and wider peer group.

I know it's extremely hard especially when all other children have them...what was needed was a collective effort. If smartphones had never been allowed for under 16s, I think the current explosion in mental health issues, and related issues like online misogyny and ROGD would be far weaker.

I don't disagree but one of the issues is that most parents feel the same but assume that their kid will be the only one without one and will get bullied etc.

There's a movement at the moment called 'smartphone free childhood' to help solve that problem and help parents band together rather than feeling isolated. I've signed the pact for my child's reception class.

Give it a Google if you've got kids, there are groups across the country

My 13 year old has an iPhone but it has no social media apps and it is blocked from having any apps added to it unless I put in a password on my phone that only I know. So she has the benefit of Find Friends and Maps etc but no social media at all.

That's a very good idea. There have been interesting Guardian reports on schools here which banned phones. This I suppose would have solved the problem for parents as it would have eliminated the worry of exclusion, at least within school.

I hope other countries follow Australia's lead...

There is a collective movement,the smartphonefree childhood.our kids don't need social media,same as pp said you can have the benefits of a phone without social media.

My kids are 16 and 14 and both are on social media. We did resist adding social media apps for quite a while (most of their friends were on Snap etc by the age of 11) but it got to the point where they were missing out on class chats and social connections. It would have been great to have connected with other parents to try to resist it for longer, but I doubt many of them would have been onboard with it (I could be wrong, but that's my gut feel).

Sadly there are so many parents that just let their kids spend hour online doing whatever they want. Then are surprised that mental health issues are through the roof and their kids are unfit and unsocial.

YANBU. The collective failure in parenting over the last 15 or 20 years has been appalling. History will record a lost generation.
Very sad.

My children are 26 and 24 now and in year 6 after Christmas for each of them I was informed that they were the only ones in the whole year without a phone. Whilst parents are giving 10/11 year olds phones because of perceived peer pressure nothing will change.

My friend works for the police and one girl whose parents had done everything right had been given an old iPhone by a friend. If they want to, children find a way.

And Spain's!

Completely agree, OP. It should be as much a "thing" as rear facing car seats. Stocks for any parent giving their child a smartphone in primary school. 🧽

A ban on having them in school would help during school hours at least. Unluckily a lot of schools encouraged phones for various things but I think they're seeing the cost is too much.

Yes...I mean I've recently read about the years of tumblr when it was a Wild West. This started a lot of girls onto trans issues as well as just a lot of inappropriate material. I get parents gave computers for various sensible reasons, but the amount of teens who weren't monitored during a time when the Internet was evolving wildly is very disturbing. I know parents are busy but for years marketers were essentially allowed free rein over many children & teens.

Good for Senor Sanchez!

My DC's secondary school banned phones 3 years ago. Most schools locally are now following suit.

Unfortunately children can and do still get caught up in Whatsapp bullying etc outside of school.

Things are getting better, slowly; I'd say more like 90% of children have phones age 12 around here whereas it was more like 97% a few years ago. My DC is y8 and doesn't have a phone yet. Luckily they've begrudgingly accepted that for now, but it's hard as a parent to take a stand when most parents have given their DC phones. That's why I back government action on this.

When I was in 5th or 6th from and the internet was nascent (mid-late 90s) one of my friends was regularly in chatrooms saying God knows what to much older guys in America using the one internet enabled school computer!

At least we're more aware of the dangers these days.

I agree, I know it's very hard when there's so much pressure. I suppose a compromise could be giving a phone that can text but has no Internet?

At least a school phone ban would prevent them using it inside school. You can't cover every base but that doesn't mean nothing can be done.

No. It doesn't work like that.

Could you elaborate maybe?

I think the problem with any age based restriction is that you don’t suddenly become equipped to deal with it at 16. I have a 16 and a 13 year old and the younger one is just as if not more able sometimes to cope with it that the elder one

we can’t simply have a pandora box moment of going yes you are capable now you can use it

as with everything a gradual sensible approach monitoring it and easing it in gently but a school ban for definite works

As a generation of parents, I feel we sleep walked into this situation. To be fair, I don’t think many of us had foreseen exactly what would be out there - call me naive. We didn’t intend harm, but the impact now is frightening and my biggest parenting regret is having given my teens smartphones. I’ve told them that and apologised, and they thought I was a bit daft but I think it’s been incredibly damaging and their young lives would have been better without them. We’re past the point of redressing the balance in our house now as they are older, but if I had my time again, the phone would be a definitive no. I don’t think I’ll ever fully forgive myself.

Yes I agree, the whole generation born in the early noughts are a list generation. I was massively surprised to discover that phones weren't even banned in schools. Surely they could have figured out that was bad. Hopefully this will get sorted by the time my kids are older.

Mine dont have social media but do have phones. They get the odd comment from peers about why cant they have Snapchat or whatever . But thankfully understand the reasons.
I am often told by them about which friend is talking to random people they have never met but plan to meet up with . Or arguments that happen out of school over social media/bullying. And just backs up why they shouldnt have it .

I think in a way the controversy and (rightful) anxiety about this has had a positive effect because it is making children and young people more aware of the risks of social media.

My DD is 15: she and her friends are pretty apprehensive about social media and very aware of its risks and dangers for their generation. She doesn’t have any yet other than YouTube and WhatsApp and doesn’t want anything else when she turns 16.

Social media in the particularly toxic form we know it now has peaked. Smart teenagers will increasingly start to see it as a brainless addiction machine and will move away from it.