Asking for an apology AIBU

[MyLimeRaven]

Back in October I nearly died, I stopped breathing and my partner had to do CPR until the ambulance appeared. In the hospital it was discovered I had a very high dose of tramadol, diazepam and PCP!!

No idea where the PCP came from and I had only taken the prescribed dose of the painkillers and diazepam. I was asked if I had taken the tablets intending to kill myself which I hadn't. The doctor wasn't too concerned and said aslong as my oxygen levels stayed up without being on oxygen I could go home the next day. I woke up the next day feeling like absolute crude and had to go back on oxygen as I was sitting at around 85% without it and they discovered I had pneumonia because I had been eating pizza when it all happened and they thinking it must have gone into my lungs.

At lunchtime my partner and I were talking when my social worker walked in. He looked at my partner like he was something he had trod in and snapped he needed to speak to me alone. We went to the day room where another social worker was sitting and he said that someone had made a complaint that my partner tried to kill me and has been controlling me for the last 9 years. I laughed as I thought he was joking but quickly realised he wasn't. He told me that I couldn't go home or that my partner would have to go somewhere else. I told him that that wasn't happening as I wasn't at risk from him in anyway shape or form. He then said that basically I was a silly little girl that was going to end up dead because of this man. Now this social worker has been in my house and has seen how my partner and I are together. My the time this conversation was over my partner had left as he knew from the look that something had been said against him. The police then went to see my partner and ask him what had happened. He gave his account of the day, then they came to see me and obviously our accounts were the same, so the police said their would be no further action as it was an anomaly and it was clear to them that I wasn't in any danger as my partner wasn't controlling or trying to kill me. I got home after the weekend and I was on antibiotics. We got another visit from the police as they wanted me to sign paperwork that they had told me the danger I was in even though 2 days previous the police said I wasn't in danger and he was clear of fault. The social worker then called again to find out why I had gone home with him and reiterating that he was going to kill me and I really needed to go somewhere safe. I asked him not to contact me again as I was sick listening to him say things about my partner that were not true. He contacted me again and I made a complaint to his line manager. Now I have no complaint with him coming to check that I wasn't in danger but the way he looked at my partner then told me not to tell him what he had said to me and to be miscalling him even after the police had done their investigation and we had proved that there were no missing tablets and then to keep contacting me when I have asked him not to. Would I be unreasonable to ask for an apology from him for myself and my partner. My partner has only just started not having a panic attack if people chap the door or he has a car door closing outside the house.

So how did you end up over dosing?

Well you’ve ingested enough drugs to stop your heart….how?

Have you done a Claire’s Law search on him? How long have you known this man?

If you didn’t knowingly take the PCP, who else has access to get it into your body? I’d be focusing on working that out rather than worrying about an apology which will be meaningless if you don’t find out how the PCP got into your system and it happens again!

I think there’s quite a lot more to this story than we will ever be told…

They have genuinely no idea. I only get my medication weekly and it comes in a tray made by the chemist. There were no tablets missing and there were no extras in the house that I could have taken without telling anyone.

Having a social worker means you are somehow vulnerable already.
Then you had a high quantity of drugs in your bloodstream, including one you can't explain. And don't seem concerned or willing to investigate in any way.

And you wonder why they are worried? It might have come out as patronising, but you're clearly not making easy for them either.

Exactly. Which is why they suspect your husband of drugging you.

How did you come to have taken PCP?

This whole situation is very weird. It’s also weird the social worker reacted like that. I suspect there’s more you’re not telling us.

I have known him 11 years stayed with him for 9. I have no fears of him doing anything to me and the PCP could have been a false positive as tramadol can sometimes come up as PCP.

Do you have children?

There must be more to this. There is no way my DH would assume from a look that he was being accused of trying to kill me, it woildnt even occur to him he woild be accused of something.
Im not saying he did or didnt, but who made the accusation and why... have you not wven wondwrwd about this? Fwiw im glad they took it seriously even if its wrong.

So how did you happen to have such high doses of the medication you take?

So, how did you take the PCP, it didn’t magic itself up inside you? If you have no idea how it came to be in you, don’t you see how that is a massive problem as that only leaves one other explanation.

Social workers who don’t take that kind of suspicious situation seriously get hauled over the courts when the worst happens. He was trying to do his job.

Exactly. @MyLimeRaven Why did your DP think the social worker was accusing him of something? Even assuming he did think that, why didn’t he stay to explain? How did you come to have an overdose?

You have had an overdose of drugs which could have killed you. You seem clear that there are no pills missing from your prescriptions and that you have not taken any extra drugs yourself. The hospital is clear that you had a huge excess of drugs in your body.
The social worker had received a formal complaint against your partner - someone out there is concerned enough for your safety that they have gone to the trouble of doing this.
The only possible conclusion is that if you didn't administer the drugs, someone else must have done. So either it was your boyfriend, or it was someone else who then tried to frame him.
Is he controlling ,OP? Why are you so dismissive of the SW? What other explanation do you think there is?

Why do you need an apology? You’ve raised a complaint which will investigate if you were treated fairly and professionally, which is the crux of the matter. To have two social workers and the police involved suggestions that there was a genuine fear for your safety and they were working in tandem to help ensure you were protected, not least because you are vulnerable, both in terms of the medication you have to take and the issue of the overdose, but also the fact that you have a social worker in the first place. I find it weird that your partner could ‘tell’ what was happening just from a look and that he then walked out and left you in the hospital. If he cared surely he would have stuck around to get to the bottom of things, not just left without a word. I really feel for social workers because they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

Even from your account I think the social worker and the police have acted entirely reasonably. They appear to have have good reason to believe your partner might be dangerous.

Something happened that caused you great harm. It happened for a reason and writing it off as a mystery could be putting you in grave danger.

I find it very concerning that you don’t seem to know how you ingested a potentially lethal overdose and are not really looking for an explanation. I think your social worker is just trying to do their job.

There is absolutely more to this story. How can there not be?

You have SC involved in your life, why is that?

How can you have ingested enough drugs to OD and have no idea how yet willfully dismiss it as a mystery?? That in itself is ridiculous.

What was the point of your post, OP, if you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of any reality other than the one you’ve constructed in your own head?

Why do you have a social worker?

How did you manage to take an almost lethal overdose?

So if you didn't take too many drugs, how did they get in your system?

Just read your comments back and ask yourself the question.