Asking for an apology AIBU

[MyLimeRaven]

Back in October I nearly died, I stopped breathing and my partner had to do CPR until the ambulance appeared. In the hospital it was discovered I had a very high dose of tramadol, diazepam and PCP!!

No idea where the PCP came from and I had only taken the prescribed dose of the painkillers and diazepam. I was asked if I had taken the tablets intending to kill myself which I hadn't. The doctor wasn't too concerned and said aslong as my oxygen levels stayed up without being on oxygen I could go home the next day. I woke up the next day feeling like absolute crude and had to go back on oxygen as I was sitting at around 85% without it and they discovered I had pneumonia because I had been eating pizza when it all happened and they thinking it must have gone into my lungs.

At lunchtime my partner and I were talking when my social worker walked in. He looked at my partner like he was something he had trod in and snapped he needed to speak to me alone. We went to the day room where another social worker was sitting and he said that someone had made a complaint that my partner tried to kill me and has been controlling me for the last 9 years. I laughed as I thought he was joking but quickly realised he wasn't. He told me that I couldn't go home or that my partner would have to go somewhere else. I told him that that wasn't happening as I wasn't at risk from him in anyway shape or form. He then said that basically I was a silly little girl that was going to end up dead because of this man. Now this social worker has been in my house and has seen how my partner and I are together. My the time this conversation was over my partner had left as he knew from the look that something had been said against him. The police then went to see my partner and ask him what had happened. He gave his account of the day, then they came to see me and obviously our accounts were the same, so the police said their would be no further action as it was an anomaly and it was clear to them that I wasn't in any danger as my partner wasn't controlling or trying to kill me. I got home after the weekend and I was on antibiotics. We got another visit from the police as they wanted me to sign paperwork that they had told me the danger I was in even though 2 days previous the police said I wasn't in danger and he was clear of fault. The social worker then called again to find out why I had gone home with him and reiterating that he was going to kill me and I really needed to go somewhere safe. I asked him not to contact me again as I was sick listening to him say things about my partner that were not true. He contacted me again and I made a complaint to his line manager. Now I have no complaint with him coming to check that I wasn't in danger but the way he looked at my partner then told me not to tell him what he had said to me and to be miscalling him even after the police had done their investigation and we had proved that there were no missing tablets and then to keep contacting me when I have asked him not to. Would I be unreasonable to ask for an apology from him for myself and my partner. My partner has only just started not having a panic attack if people chap the door or he has a car door closing outside the house.

We went to the day room where another social worker was sitting and he said that someone had made a complaint that my partner tried to kill me and has been controlling me for the last 9 years.

Who made this complaint OP?
What do your family and friends think of your partner?

Is it possible that your boyfriend gave you street diazepam and tramadol, and covered his tracks by removing the right quantity of medication from your dossette box?

You have taken a very dangerous cocktail of drugs. Either the pharmacy made a serious and unfathomable error, or someone tampered with your meds.
The authorities will want to identify which it was, and need to consider your partner in that. If he has done nothing wrong he needs to cooperate as he is making himself look suspicious by disappearing rather than engaging.
If I were you, I'd be keeping an open mind at this point. We all trust our partners, but that doesn't mean our partners are always trustworthy. Cooperate with your social worker. If your partner has done nothing wrong and you've nothing to fear from him, there will be an explanation.

Do you smoke weed, OP?

Anecdotally, I've heard reports of weed being laced with PCP. It sounded like bollocks to me, but was recently confirmed by a former colleague who now works with young offenders.

They got a bulletin about it at work, as a lot of their clients are drug users.

Have you any idea why people might think your boyfriend is controlling?

Where are your children?

I don't think this account can be the full story.

Trying to be objective, is there any reason the sw might perceive you as vulnerable to your partner? An age difference, they have a criminal record, history of domestic violence? Are you a young adult, and did this relationship start while you were a child?

Ultimately, I don't think you should discount the concern. The drugs got in your body somehow. That doesn't mean it has to have been your partner, but I definitely think it's worth a discussion as to why your SW and police think it could be that. There's not a lot of reason for them to be doing anything except trying to protect you.

I think the OP means a dosette box. Your meds come prepared and sealed in the doses and times of day prescribed for you.

My mum used to only get them weekly as she was a very high suicide risk (she had schizophrenia) They didn't trust her to have a months worth at a time.

Tramadol and Diazepam together is a horrific combination and risks respiritary depression.

It can also be because of poor fine motor control/ grip strength making it difficult to get them out of the slips the normally come in or because of poor memory making it difficult to keep track of medication.

Had you been drinking alcohol @MyLimeRaven?

You do know PCP is a class "A" drug and therefore highly illegal?
I think you have your suspicions but won't face them.
Some are saying it could be a mix up at the pharmacy (highly unlikely) so have you returned your meds to them for analysis? I find it very difficult to believe a professional pharmacist would accidentally put PCP into prescription meds

I suspect you are already classed as vulnerable OP, as you have a social worker and weekly dosette boxes. I appreciate you feel the social worker was rude, but it sounds like they have very real concerns for you. Please take this seriously and keep yourself safe.

You can't explain the overdose and don't seem to be very focussed on getting an explanation. Something is not right at all here. But in answer to your question - there should not be an apology, no, and it's frankly mind boggling that you even ask. They have done nothing wrong. You need to get to the bottom of this, just as they were trying to do. For your own sake.

Sorry OP but your story doesn't stack up. Something untoward has happened to put you in hospital, having had to be given CPR. You really need to think hard about what could have happened, not put complaints in about a person who is doing their job. And possibly saving you from worse than a stay in hospital.

Why do you have a social worker?

Obviously none of us know you or your partner but from the outside I can certainly understand your social workers concerns

Yes. But as PPs have said, to only be supplied with a weekly supply, rather than monthly, shows that something else is going on here.

Whilst there is obviously a lot of background missing the fact that @MyLimeRavenuses a dosette box system for her meds isn't cause for any concern. A lot of people use them for convenience, especially if they have a number of meds that need to be taken at different times during the day. Having a 7 day dosette isn't particularly unusual either, especially given the diazepam etc, it allows swift changes in dosage if the GP deems it necessary.

Do you feel able to talk about your situation in more depth @MyLimeRaven? We are all concerned for you and trying to help...

I get a month’s supply at a time, in 4 boxes.

Very good point

Clearly there's stuff you're not telling us and until we know what it is, there's not much we can say except: don't you want to know how you got such a massive overdose and how to ensure you don't get another?

My the time this conversation was over my partner had left as he knew from the look that something had been said against him.

Don't you think this odd behaviour OP?

Sounds like it, certainly. A GP will mandate weekly, even daily, dispensing of meds like these (usually given in monthly instalments) if she fears or suspects misuse of any kind.

Someone else has told the police he's trying to kill you.

You've taken an overdose of drugs which are easily obtainable in most towns, which you didn't have in your possession.

Two sets of professionals have told you that your life is in danger.

You won't even look at the possibility that might be true.

If I believed in God I'd be praying for you OP.

The PCP could be a red herring as there are prescribed and over the counter medications that will give a PCP false positive. But it would mean you must also be prescribed those medications or bought them OTC and taken them
the concern is you have somehow taken enough to overdose which you are maintaining is not intentional and if so you have ingested them in another way, which is what your SW is concerned about.
They are right to be concerned and I wouldn't apologise for doing my job