Asking for an apology AIBU

[MyLimeRaven]

Back in October I nearly died, I stopped breathing and my partner had to do CPR until the ambulance appeared. In the hospital it was discovered I had a very high dose of tramadol, diazepam and PCP!!

No idea where the PCP came from and I had only taken the prescribed dose of the painkillers and diazepam. I was asked if I had taken the tablets intending to kill myself which I hadn't. The doctor wasn't too concerned and said aslong as my oxygen levels stayed up without being on oxygen I could go home the next day. I woke up the next day feeling like absolute crude and had to go back on oxygen as I was sitting at around 85% without it and they discovered I had pneumonia because I had been eating pizza when it all happened and they thinking it must have gone into my lungs.

At lunchtime my partner and I were talking when my social worker walked in. He looked at my partner like he was something he had trod in and snapped he needed to speak to me alone. We went to the day room where another social worker was sitting and he said that someone had made a complaint that my partner tried to kill me and has been controlling me for the last 9 years. I laughed as I thought he was joking but quickly realised he wasn't. He told me that I couldn't go home or that my partner would have to go somewhere else. I told him that that wasn't happening as I wasn't at risk from him in anyway shape or form. He then said that basically I was a silly little girl that was going to end up dead because of this man. Now this social worker has been in my house and has seen how my partner and I are together. My the time this conversation was over my partner had left as he knew from the look that something had been said against him. The police then went to see my partner and ask him what had happened. He gave his account of the day, then they came to see me and obviously our accounts were the same, so the police said their would be no further action as it was an anomaly and it was clear to them that I wasn't in any danger as my partner wasn't controlling or trying to kill me. I got home after the weekend and I was on antibiotics. We got another visit from the police as they wanted me to sign paperwork that they had told me the danger I was in even though 2 days previous the police said I wasn't in danger and he was clear of fault. The social worker then called again to find out why I had gone home with him and reiterating that he was going to kill me and I really needed to go somewhere safe. I asked him not to contact me again as I was sick listening to him say things about my partner that were not true. He contacted me again and I made a complaint to his line manager. Now I have no complaint with him coming to check that I wasn't in danger but the way he looked at my partner then told me not to tell him what he had said to me and to be miscalling him even after the police had done their investigation and we had proved that there were no missing tablets and then to keep contacting me when I have asked him not to. Would I be unreasonable to ask for an apology from him for myself and my partner. My partner has only just started not having a panic attack if people chap the door or he has a car door closing outside the house.

This, did your partner seem surprised at the PCP and all the other drugs in your system and as pp are there children involved?

What about Gisele Pelicot she trusted her husband not to drug her...

Why do you only get your drugs weekly in a tray? There is so much going on here

Agree that there (sadly) has to be more to this story.

Why do you have a social worker @MyLimeRaven ?

You know you didn’t take them, but your bloods showed you had ingested them. What other answer is there? Bloods are not wrong.

Presumably this is why your partner is suspected. The drugs didn't get into you accidentally by you taking too many. The drugs weren't in the house (as far as you know) so who did have them and how did you come to ingest them? Who else was in the house? I think they were right to warn you and you should take it seriously.

Playing devils advocate here

Let's say that bloods can occasionally be wrong for whatever reason?

The Tramodol showing up as PCP could possibly be explained as a weird interaction (I've not looked at the science I'm just going on what the OP said in an earlier post) but what about the other medication showing as high? They can't all be anomalies and mistakes?

I agree. The tale that the OP has told us doesn’t add up. I suspect she isn’t being entirely truthful about the situation.

I can't comment on whether you are at danger from your partner. But I have personal experience of the dispensing chemist making an error when putting individual meds into a blister pack. It wasn't my meds, but a family member. He spotted that one of the tablets didn't look like it usually did and he went back to pharmacy who checked, and it was the incorrect medication.

I have also heard that they muddled up deliveries and two elderly patients had the wrong packs entirely. But I can't confirm this, it's just what I heard.

So in this scenario that the OP is describing, mistakes do happen. The onus is on the patient to double check before just necking them back.

I've got to be honest,my first thought was the same as the social worker

Even people who like taking drugs would struggle to get hold of PCP. This is all very odd.

If you've never taken it or any other illegal or illicit drug they could have contained it, then he must have slipped it to you? And if you didn't take lots of diazapam and opiates how did they get into your body?

Posting again to say I've also had a pharmacist related mix up before but what is the likelihood the OP took the wrong dose of one drug due to pharmacy error and then had a totally unrelated (and unprescribed and unknown to the OP) drug show up in her bloods?

It's just too much to be a coincidence.

So how did the meds get into your system? you had a very significant overdose of strong pain meds and you cannot account for how that’s happened - this should be ringing big loud alarm bells! I think there’s a very good chance your partner is responsible, unless you have a more plausible explanation? This social worker is trying to protect you, absolutely do not ask for an apology, ask
for their help instead.

In my view PCP doesn't accidentally appear in prescription medication, the systems they use and the production process in particular are foolproof. If you can't answer where the PCP came from then you could well be in danger. Why risk it?

One of three things have happened:

1. You've accidentally overdosed on your own meds, had a false positive pcp result as a result of the tramadol but this is highly unlikely as you've said you have no tablets missing.

1. You've purchased tramadol and diazepam from a drug dealer and are lying to save yourself getting in bother with social services (why do you have social services involvement?).

1. The police and social services are correct, and your partner has illegally bought the drugs and administered them without your knowledge.

I think you need to have a real honest chat with yourself about which of the above is most likely OP, if there are children involved in this mess be honest with social services and safeguard your children from further harm/trauma at either the hands of yourself or this man.

I cannot be the only one whose blood ran cold reading your account of what happened, @MyLimeRaven

Please listen to and cooperate with your social workers. Overworked as they are, they are unlikely to take these actions without legitimate cause for concern for your safety.

The police not taking further action just means they don't have the evidence to take action, it doesn't mean it didn't happen. The threshold is very high. That's why even no further action reports can be disclosed on Claire's Law requests.
There will be more to this that makes social services worried, especially the comments about him controlling you for 9 years. I think they are seeing something that you can't see due to your vulnerability.

Why do you have a social worker?

My first thought is that your partner is tampering with your medication.

But I suspect there’s a long back story. You have an adult social worker and are known to the police, as well as being on very heavy (potentially addictive) medication.

It has caused you distress but I think the social worker and police were doing their job with the only info they had available.

If this happened to me I would want to know how and unfortunately my very kind boyfriend wouldn’t be automatically discounted by me. The only other culprit would be the pharmacy and I would also be calling them expecting them to start an investigation on their end. I would be pretty anxious if I never got any answers.

Apologies. Somehow posted multiples

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You should do a Clares law....

Put it this way.

If this happened to me

1. My social worker wouldnt turn up because I dont have one / have need for one.
2. I wouldnt be okay / happy regularly taking heavily addictive painkillers. And diazepam?!?!
3. If a professional came to me expressing concern for my safety i'd take it seriously
4. If I was then asked to sign paperwork confirming the police had told me the danger I' d be taking it VERY seriously.
5. I would think there was foul play and be looking to understand how exactly this happened vs I ended up in hospital after taking my regular medication correctly because of random dumb luck <shrug> I wpuld assume my medication was tampered with
6. I'd be living separately from my "d"p while I worked it out
7. I'd do a clares law request ASAP. Because to not do so would be willfully ignorant of me.

Are you addicted to tramadol and diazepam, because that'll be why you get it dispensed weekly?

Also, very few people are prescribed diazepam nowadays. Why are you prescribed it?