To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

[PeacockPalace]

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

Bullet dodged!

Jesus god. First post nails it. Imagine hours of meetings listening to this person enjoy the sound of their own voice .

I had an interview exactly like that some years ago! The man could not stop talking about himself for a good hour and a half, and told me he’d lost three marriages to that business and expected total commitment from employees. When he called to offer me the job, he said we'd got on very well in the interview. (I declined it.)

it’s fine to turn it down. I’m assuming there’s lots of other roles out there and you’re ok financially for now. Otherwise I’d take it for the money and worry about it later…

I couldn’t even get a word in during the interview to say ‘I don’t think this is going to be the job for me, let’s end things now’ 😂

He messaged you four times to ask why you turned him down??
Just block the creepy bugger.

Honestly, I think you should tell him why. There's no point you working somewhere where you can't speak and where he doesn't let you finish an answer. He needs to know. He won't like it, but he needs to be told.

I'm sorry you experienced this. In my humble opinion I don't think he meant to be difficult, even though he spoke too much. Sometimes some folks talk too much out of nervousness, & even bosses & managers can suffer from bad nerves & have nervous breakdowns. I feel the fact he's keen to know why you're refusing this role /job, shows he didn't mean to cause upset & he must care regarding where he went wrong, or he wouldn't be asking you, especially more than once.
If it was me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, at least as far's to bring some enlightenments as to why the job or environment isn't comfortable, because it could prevent him making the same mistakes for others, as well, in the long run. It seems like he's genuinely unaware & needs someone who cares, enough to gently bring some insight.

Tell him exactly why! You've tried to be diplomatic and polite, it hasn't worked. Sometimes people need bluntly telling

You should tell him exactly whythejobwo t be a good fit for you.
That he couldn't stop talking at you for the whole I interview. How does he know that you were perfect for the job.? You never opened your mouth .

Dear interviewer
As you failed to let me get a word in edgeaways during a full 90-minutes interview, I fail to see how you could possibly know whether I would be suitable for the advertised role.
On that basis,I won’t be accepting your rather dubious job offer.
Maybe next time give your interview candidate a chance to actually speak? Just a suggestion …

As PP said above, you have dodged a bullet however, I would let him know your reasons for turning the role down.

Those of you that have seen Derry Girls, he went on and on like Uncle Colm from that!

I think some employers (particularly those who built their own small businesses IME) fail to realise that the interview process works both ways.

A few years back I had an initial interview for a post I was highly qualified for and genuinely interested in. I made it to the second round which involved being interviewed by the CEO. She was horrid. I got an awful vibe from her and just know I couldn't work with her.

I got offered the job, turned it down and she emailed me multiple times seemingly aghast that I'd turn her offer down. Definitely bullet dodged!

I'm guessing you're not the first to turn it down. Probably for the same reasons as others.

Perhaps you could elaborate a bit more and actually find a polite way of saying that he didn't let you get a word in edgeways etc...

It might actually be a decent company to work for but this guy hasn't got a clue about his lack of social skills. He is perhaps autistic.

I feel as though he’s almost indignant that someone wouldn’t want to work for his ‘amazing’ company rather than a decent person who cares

YADNBU Business owners of small companies can, in my experience, be wonderful or a nightmare. Yours would have been awful and his responses after the interview prove that.

I'd email back

I hope you're doing well. I wanted to share some feedback with you regarding our recent interview. Unfortunately, I found it quite challenging to contribute as you were speaking so much. I believe that a more balanced exchange would be beneficial going forwards with next candidate.

I worked for a woman who was just like that at interview and I had doubts about taking the job.

I wish I’d listened to my inner dialogue, as she was awful to work for.

I really think you should give honest feedback. He’s asking. It’s different taking it upon yourself to tell someone they have talked too much, but when they ask you what’s the problem, I think they want to know. You’re not taking the job so what’s stopping you?

Just give him a shit sandwich like he was the interviewee.

You showed great passion and attention to detail and clearly know your business well. Unfortunately, your questions were unstructured and lengthy, which meant I did not have the chance to showcase my skills or talk about why the role was a good fit for me, which is essential to me as an employee.
However, you show great persistence, so I'm sure you'll find the right candidate soon.

ah that’s tricky.

I think I would tell him. In a constructive way. Yet now I have images of you taking over the company by being the person who speaks the truth?

Honestly, I disagree with the people who are saying you ought to tell him why you turned the job down.

You owe him nothing, and his repeated questioning (especially after you already told him "not a good fit") is inappropriate and kind of aggressive.

I don't think he will learn from this, even if you tell him. Anyone who can't recognise - even in hindsight - that they've been monologuing for 90 minutes, and that that's unacceptable, is not a person who will learn much from having it pointed out to them.

I worry that you would just be leaving yourself open to yet more contact from him.

This is not a guy who has any basic understanding of how to behave. And I say that as a person with autism myself. If he hasn't learnt yet, then I don't think he's going to learn from you either.

I interviewed someone like that. Every time I tried to ask a question, he’d hold up his hand, say “I’m speaking!” and carry on. He didn’t get the job and I was very frank with the feedback. He then emailed back and asked for another chance.

Oh dear. At face value I’d quite like it if I couldn’t get a word in as I hate interviews and would feel he did all the work, but in reality, anyone remotely resembling Uncle Colm’s monologues would have me running for the hills!